2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-12 20:57
Many times I have already been convinced of the magical ability of sand to "dig up" human secrets, to reveal what may be deep inside. And from there, from the very core, ache and prick the soul of a person.
And what could be more painful than not accepting yourself? After all, this means that I do not need myself, I do not like myself so much that "it is disgusting to look in the mirror."
- Do you like what you got in the sandbox? Would you like to live in this place?
- No…
- What could be changed here to make you want to live here?
“I don’t know… Probably nothing can be changed.
This is the saddest answer that, unfortunately, I often hear. The sand field is a projection of the Client's inner world. And he refuses from it, his inner world! Thus, he renounces himself!
Where does it all start? And it all begins, no matter how trite, in childhood.
Do you think kids will give up their creation like that? Is it so easy to devalue it? Well, I do not! Initially, the child is egocentric. Everything because of him and everything for him! But there is a second side to the question. The child is initially dependent on the parent. The latter can radically affect the child's opinion of himself!
- Do you like what you got in the sandbox? - I ask the sweetest curly-haired boy 7 years old.
- Sure! - not a bit of a doubt about the answer. The child is clearly proud of his masterpiece.
- What if we call mom now and show her your sandbox? Do you think she will like it?
The head is lowered. The back is rounded, and the proud little boy who has just sat down turns into a stooped and unsure little man before our eyes:
- I think, yes, I will.
- Do you think your mother would change something in your city?
“She would have removed these robots. Mom doesn't like robots. And she doesn't like it when they fight, so she would have removed these figures too. And instead, I would add animals.
(Goes to the locker and takes the animals)
- Do you want to supply these animals now? I ask.
- Yes!
- Why are you doing this? After all, you had no animals, and you liked your sandbox. Are you doing this for your mom?
- But it's really bad when there are no animals.
It's so easy and simple for a child to adopt the position of a parent, and it even seems to him his own!
Just like that, a child can doubt himself, his perfection and "completeness"!
It's so easy for a child to betray himself to please mom or dad! Because they don't like it.
- What if we call dad now and show him the sandbox? Will he like her? - I ask further.
- (laughs) but dad won't fit. He has either a job or a phone job.
- What if you and I still imagine that dad will come up. Maybe the phone is dead?
- Well … my dad is a builder, he loves houses. And I have no houses here. - My young Client twisted in his back even more. And then he ran abruptly to the locker to pick up the houses.
- You decided to build houses. For Dad?
- Yes.
- I see that your country has changed a lot. How do you like it?
- Good. - More and more often I think that this word is kind of empty.
- Would you like to live in this country?
- No … Maybe a little bit, I would come to visit, then leave for some other country. I would travel!
Yes, yes, this is how we begin a long journey through foreign countries and cities, in fact, in search of our country, which we once lost, which was once said that it is not good enough to be, which once was not accepted. But only she is the best place in the whole world!
And finally. If you are already an adult! And I counted this article to the end, then, I hope, you drew attention to the fact that neither mom nor dad approached the sandbox, and no one gave them such a right (at least in the psychologist's office) to redo the child's creation. We certainly do not know and cannot know if the parents would have really reacted the way the child suggested. This is his event, this is his "map". And the redesigned world is his decision! And maybe yours! But, if in childhood you could not make another decision, now you definitely can! You just need to think about what country you want to live in and create this country for yourself! Even if at first on the sand …
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