2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I get asked this question from time to time.
In short, it is "Where do I live, why and how I live." The direction of life, partly life meanings, life rules and principles. What is important to a person. Something for which he is willing to put in the effort. What determines his choice of "what to do and how to do".
For example, values can be professional fulfillment and family. Then the person works and takes care of the family. Or maybe the protection of wildlife or a change in the political system in the country. Then the person cooperates with greenpeace or goes into politics. Or cognition of oneself and people - then the choice of a person can be philosophy, spiritual practices, psychology, etc.
Values can be honesty and loyalty, decency, sincerity and openness. Then, both in the family and in politics, a person is guided by these principles, shows these qualities, even if this can lead to conflicts or reduce the likelihood of achieving the goal.
The values can be the achievement of the goal at any cost and the preservation of face. Then, both in the family and in politics, a person can show, for example, cruelty and cunning in the name of achieving his goals - for him it will be following his values.
True values are the deepest values of a person himself, reflecting his essence. A person knows, feels, realizes - what they are to him and how exactly he realizes them
For example, is health a value?
Many will say yes.
Then the next question is "what is it for, why is it necessary to support it?" If instead of a clear and concrete answer - a stupor or a vague answer "what a stupid question - it's so obvious!", Then this value is not true, but superficial.
Let's say there is a clear answer - a person realizes why he needs health. Then the next question is "How exactly in life does the fact that this value is for this person manifest?"
If there are measures to maintain health - prevention and treatment, and there are no measures to harm health, then yes, this is really value. And if a person's lifestyle does not contribute to the preservation of health, then this is an illusory value.
Another example. Teeth cleaning. Kind of like value too. But with what mood does a person do this? Out of need or joy?
This can be a tribute to my mother - she taught, she said what is needed ("otherwise * you will cut off with a lull"). Then the value here is loyalty to the mother, and the meaning of this loyalty is to protect oneself from "people".
It can be caring for a partner - to breathe fresh breath on him. Then the point here is to preserve the relationship.
It may not be value at all - and it comes to the teeth every other time.
But if the value is to take care of the health of the teeth (and the person realizes why he has healthy teeth), then regardless of the presence of his mother or partner nearby, the person brushes his teeth regularly, with a cheerful mood and with love, even if he has no strength at all.
Values are formed in the process of life, as you live in some situations. Having lost a tooth, you suddenly understand why it was needed. Having told a truth or a lie in a given situation, you face the consequences, draw conclusions and choose something for yourself. Values can change, new ones can be discovered. And then suddenly what was previously possible becomes impossible, or vice versa.
It is important to clarify the values of a person when creating personal relationships, to check the lifestyle and relationship style for compatibility.
If for one the value is freedom, and for another attachment, then it will be difficult. If one appreciates honesty and loyalty, and the other is ready to maintain a relationship at any cost, then there is a risk of disappointment because of the betrayal and deception covering it, because it turned out to be the very “price”. If one wants professional development, and the other - five children, then he is the only one to deal with these children. If one supports greenpeace, and the other tramples down rare plants and scatters garbage in the forest, then again "uuupsss …" (although it would seem that it has no direct relation to the life of the family).
It is important to clarify the values of the company in employment. And how exactly these values are manifested.
It's important to know your values. To make a conscious choice. Whether to brush your teeth. Whether to go to the gym. Whether to tell the truth or lie. Whether to be with this person. Whether to work in this company. Why get up this morning, what to do, where to go and what is all this for. Ultimately, it gives energy and makes life easier.
Recommended:
What Does "LET GO OF THE SITUATION" Mean?
Why is the question exactly so? Because nowadays it is very fashionable to give advice on how best to act in a given situation. The most fashionable recommendation is "so you just let go of the situation and - EVERYTHING." If a person could RELEASE the situation, he would have RELEASED it long ago.
Ping-pong: If He (a) Reminds Of Himself, It Does Not Mean That He Loves
In my previous articles, I talked about what longing for an ex is, why it appears, what it leads to and what to do with this joy. But there are complicated cases: a person now and then reminds of himself, and you think: "Oh, what if this is love?
Neurosis And Neurotic Personality. What Does This Mean?
Neurosis does not mean being nervous. Symptoms, genesis and cure of the modern neurotic person Neurosis is the pain and stamp of our time: selfish, fast, when people know a lot technically and live in comfort, but have forgotten how to love.
What Does “secondary Benefit” From The Disease Mean And How To Get Rid Of It?
Each time we talk about the meaning of psychosomatic symptoms, we in one way or another touch upon the topic of the "secondary benefit" of the disease. However, not only the term itself causes resistance from clients, but also the common questions "
WHAT DOES THE QUERY “I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH FEMALITY” REALLY MEAN?
The request "I have a problem with femininity" translated into psychotherapy means that you have a dissonance between your sense of self and what society requires of you. Because femininity is a set of qualities and behaviors that are attributed to women and expected from them by society.
