2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I continue to talk about the myths regarding psychologists and therapy that I meet in my practice)
MYTH # 7 A PSYCHOLOGIST MUST KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU
Some people are especially frightened by visiting a psychologist because they will have to tell EVERYTHING about themselves during the consultation. Don't worry, you won't need this. If you have come to understand the intricacies of your divorce, it is not at all necessary to confess all your "sins" from childhood. Basically, the consultation takes place in the context of the here and now, so what happens in real time is of paramount importance. Yes, indeed, therapy presupposes trust and openness, and some information about your life is really needed to work together, but ONLY YOU determine the degree of self-disclosure and the psychologist will not ask you for anything.
MYTH # 8 THE PSYCHOLOGIST WILL LISTEN ENDLESSLY
It's no secret, most often at the first session (and sometimes at several subsequent ones), the main thing the client needs is to speak out. Accordingly, the task of the psychologist is to listen to you. And not just listen, but be with you, help express your thoughts and feelings, support. But therapy is a process of movement in the present, not an endless swim into the past. Therefore, at some point, we inevitably move from a monologue to a dialogue. Although it sometimes happens that the client is delaying this moment as long as he can. What is it about for me? Probably about fear. To stop talking is to face uncertainty, because the next step is to start doing something. Therefore, do not be surprised if sometimes the psychologist stops you, remember, everything that happens in therapy is done so that you can move forward, work for yourself. MYTH
No. 9 THE PSYCHOLOGIST WILL EVALUATE YOUR ACTIONS FROM THE POINT OF VIEW OF THEIR CORRECTNESS
I often hear: “Yes, I did that, I know it was psychologically wrong. But it just so happened …”Apparently the clients have an idea that I will judge them in terms of right / wrong, and then, obviously, also scold. In general, it is not surprising that therapy is indeed at some level reminiscent of parent-child relationships, and our experience of such relationships is far from always rosy. We meet with assessments everywhere and masterfully put them to ourselves, it would seem, why should it be different at a psychologist's appointment. However, it will be really different. My task as a psychologist is not to judge the client, but to provide him with unconditional acceptance, because it is this that is the nutrient material for positive changes.
MYTH # 10 CONSULTING IS NOT COST OF MONEY
There is an opinion that psychological counseling does not cost money. They say, what's the point of giving away your hard-earned money in vain, if sympathy and a magic pendel can be obtained from a friend / girlfriend / sister / fellow traveler for free in a familiar setting over a bottle of warming. In general, I agree - you can. But there are also several objections. Firstly, simple participation may not be enough, as a rule, in difficult life situations, not one-time help is required, but support, but loved ones still have their own lives. Secondly, close people usually find it difficult to be impartial, they are interested persons, included in the situation, each of them may have their own idea of what is best for you, and, alas, it does not always coincide with your own. Thirdly, such help is only conditionally free, instead of money, you give reciprocal attention to the difficulties and concerns of your loved ones, and sometimes you feel guilty or a sense of duty due to the fact that you received something very valuable and did not give anything in return. And finally, fourthly, only a professional can provide professional assistance based on real knowledge and experience. And the work of a professional, of course, costs money.
MYTH # 11 NOTHING SPECIAL IF I DON'T COME TODAY
I am sure that not only psychologists have difficulties with the fact that a client may not come for a consultation without first warning. At the same time, he often does not even suspect that this is harmful to both the psychologist and the therapy process. And the truth is, what is it about this, well, the person changed his mind, or slept well, on the contrary, the psychologist will free an hour, rest from the works of the righteous) I tell you.
First, a psychologist's capital is not only his professional skills, but also his time. In general, you pay for 50 minutes, which the specialist devotes to you, and only to you. If you warned about your absence in advance, the psychologist will most likely enroll another client in your place or change their plans in some other way. If you missed an appointment without warning, then the specialist wastes both time and money. And this, believe me, is insulting.
Secondly, working with a psychologist is, first of all, contact. It is not a robot that helps you, but a living person, and a relationship will certainly arise between you. It is these relationships that work for you, make changes possible, and therefore require a responsible, careful attitude on both sides. If you have a desire to skip a consultation, I suggest asking yourself the question: what is going on? Do you feel like therapy is not helping you move in the right direction? Or did something unpleasant for you happened in the last session? Maybe you are afraid of possible changes?
In any case, your answer is something worth sharing with a psychologist. After all, you came to therapy not to hush up difficulties and get away from problems, but in order to boldly look them in the face and allow yourself to reach a new level.
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