2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-18 02:26
Moscow city
Victim complex or syndrome - this is a stable line of behavior of people who are inclined to unreasonably consider themselves a victim of other people or circumstances and do not want to take responsibility for what is happening to them.
The magnitude of the problem is very large, although the exact percentage of people affected by this syndrome cannot be determined. Very often, a person simply does not notice the signs in himself. If the syndrome does not manifest itself in some areas of life, then it can be present in others and hinder the development and self-realization of a person.
Signs of victim syndrome
- blaming and criticizing other people,
- complaints about an unhappy life,
- justifications for yourself and your actions,
- inability to be held accountable for their actions and their consequences,
- dissatisfaction with life,
- a biased view of events and facts.
It is very difficult for a person susceptible to this syndrome to achieve something, he feels helpless and unable to change his fate for the better.
How to recognize a victim complex in yourself?
First you need to answer yourself, do you often shift responsibility for what happened to you to other people and life circumstances? In what areas of life did this manifest itself? Have you ever thought that external circumstances are to blame for the quality of your life?
If so, then you have victim syndrome.
Reasons for the appearance:
- Hereditary predisposition … Victim syndrome is not a congenital disorder. It manifests itself over time. The possibility of its occurrence increases if the family has had the disease for several generations.
- Mental trauma … The situation that occurred in childhood could affect the child's psyche and became the cause of the syndrome. For example, a long illness, serious quarrels in the family, psychological or physical abuse.
- Excessive custody. Due to the fact that the child has been deprived of independence for a long time, he is not ready to cope with his problems.
In men, the syndrome is less common. This is due to the fact that in childhood, psychological trauma is more often inflicted on a woman than a man.
How to deal with the syndrome?
- Admit to yourself that you are susceptible to the syndrome.
- Take responsibility not only for your successes, but also for your failures.
Yes, failure can be caused by circumstances beyond your control. But there is no point in blaming them, just as there is no point in blaming yourself. Taking responsibility is not the same as accepting blame. If you do not do this, you will be paralyzed and will not be able to solve the problem right away.
What is the relationship between victim syndrome and patience syndrome?
Victim Syndrome often goes hand in hand with Tolerance Syndrome. This is especially true in the sphere of family relations, although it is often found in other areas of life.
We often come across cases when a person constantly complains about his problems, but at the same time does not solve anything and does not take any steps to correct the situation.
Such people have hidden benefits due to which they do not change anything in their lives. It could even be called psychological masochism.
What is Over Patience Syndrome?
Patience - the necessary quality in our life.
It helps:
- when a person does not know what to do in a particular situation,
- when he needs to bide his time
- when he is in physical and emotional pain,
- when dealing with people who can be annoying.
- it is easier to endure difficulties.
But excessive patience is destructive for a person.
- If patience is associated in a person with tension, numbness, restraint of rage, it can harm his mental state. It can lead to a nervous breakdown, tantrums and even depression.
- If patience is relaxing, helping a person to calm down, then emotional pain can be minimally costly for the psyche.
People who endure tension within themselves for a long time are like a compressed spring. And when the moment comes, the limit of its compression, the spring can burst. Then a person's patience comes to an end.
Negative types of patience:
- Patience that borders on laziness. For example, if a person is in pain, he will simply take an anesthetic drug and will not do anything to find out if everything is in order with his health. He will not begin to act until the pain reliever stops working or his physical condition becomes unbearable.
- Patience perceived as a virtue. Very often, victims of violence are beaten or insulted, because they believe that they will leave their husbands, they will do wrong and selfishly. You just need to be patient. Surprisingly, society can really condemn a woman who filed for divorce because of her husband's alcoholism or beatings.
- The patience of insecure or unformed people. It is associated with the fear of being left alone, becoming an outcast and being misunderstood by society. Because of this, a person does what he does not want, or endures something that is unpleasant for him.
What is the way out?
There are not so many ways out of the situation.
- A person can continue to endure what happens to him, going with the flow.
- A person can radically change the situation by going into a confrontation with the offender.
- A person can change his attitude to the situation with the help of internal working out.
- A person can change himself, but this is the most difficult path.
The limit of patience
At the moment when a person's patience comes to an end, an incredible amount of energy awakens in him. The person "boils" and "explodes". This energy can be used to your advantage, because it encourages a person to act.
The process is divided into three stages:
First.
A person is only preparing for an emotional explosion. At that moment, the spring of his patience had not yet fully compressed. The person decides to change his life, but he does nothing yet. For this, he still does not have the courage and strength. This condition can last for quite some time.
Second.
That very moment of emotional explosion. Different feelings and emotions boil in a person: anger, anger, resentment, and so on. At this moment, you need to make an important decision and really start to translate your plans into reality.
Third.
An equally significant stage that begins when a person has already calmed down a little. At this time, you need to clearly formulate the decision made and think about how to implement it.
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