2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
It just so happens that we are exactly what we are. Who is to blame for this or thanks to whom all this happened, in what environment did it all happen and is there any share of luck or failure here. All these questions can always and everywhere be heard when analyzing a specific case of a life situation. But what if there is a strong belief that the world is not meeting our needs?
To begin with, it is worth clarifying what the world is in this case and what and who it consists of. If we look back a little, we will see that the world, at the beginning of our life, was presented in the guise of a mother, who was the representative of the world in our perception. Then, as we grow up and grow, we begin to differentiate ourselves, people and, in fact, the world, in the residual volume in which it is, i.e. in everything that surrounds us. Consequently, the idea of a world that does not satisfy needs arises at the very beginning of life and is associated with one specific person. Here you can discuss a lot on this topic, and for the sake of simplicity, I will refer to this particular model of the development of general dissatisfaction.
So, we have come to the next stage of our life, and we live in a world that, in our opinion, does not satisfy our needs. What are the needs in this case? If you follow the model described above, then these are those elementary needs that can be available to the baby, i.e.: safety, love, acceptance, fulfillment (satiety), and I would also single out among all this the presence of subject-object relations and the possibility of experiment with them (creative part). As adults, we feel the lack of one of these components and translate these unconscious aspirations for these components into meaningful (passed through the layer of our defenses) desires. As a result, we get a thirst for money, power, recognition, a desire to be fashionable and famous, and as a consequence either a manic desire to obtain all this wealth, or a depressive avoidance of our interference in contact with the world and people for the right to possess this wealth. I do not think that both options in acute form have advantages or disadvantages, they simply do not lead us to the desired goal. In no other case will we in fact satisfy our true needs. I believe that they can be satisfied either directly (mother-child), or in a form "reworked" in the analysis through the long path of realizing and accepting oneself, one's loss, and one's ability to do something about it.
Still, how can I live in a world that doesn't meet my needs? How to resist the resentment that is tearing from within (suppressed anger) or not succumb to the transformational power of hatred and not become a false personality (person)? I think that the variability of forms, who you can become as a result of dissatisfaction, is many times greater than the variability of forms, who you can become by being satisfied. I have no answer to the question “how to live” and “what to do”. I have no templates and clichés for instant action and emergency assistance. Yes. There is anesthesia in this unsatisfying world (drugs, alcohol), but they do not cure or explain anything. It turns out that you can live by researching a problem and looking for ways to solve it, by living it anew and correcting the "incorrectly assimilated" elements. It's like training in acrobatics, for the correct execution of somersaults you have to fall many times, and with each new attempt, the exercise becomes more and more pliable and easily digestible.
Rebuilding yourself and your relationship to an unsatisfying world is hard and painstaking work (if you do not take into account the coordinate axis of drugs - hypnosis). Good things take a long time.
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