2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Recently, at the first consultation, a client said these words. “I know how to say or do the right thing. I read a lot on psychology, watch videos. Theories are above the roof. But when it comes down to it, I do the old way again."
Why is this happening?
Everything that we have is laid down by people who are significant to us. Those that we ourselves endow with this significance. We trust them without a word.
"According to your faith it will be given to you." Faith is always stronger than knowledge. It is recorded in every cell, every muscle, in our sensations. And knowledge without practice is just memory. Therefore, it is difficult to change your reaction. Even if you already know a hundred times what needs to be done differently, you are still ruled by faith, the first scenario.
This happens not only in childhood.
Sometimes a woman in a relationship puts her man on a pedestal, clearly exaggerating his importance. It happens in a dependent relationship, not in an equal partnership. And then everything he says, for example, about her, is a new program for her. It's good if he supports this woman. And if the other way around? If lowers self-esteem? Or a scandalous divorce, after which the self-esteem of the majority falls below the plinth? “The relationship with a significant person did not work out, that's it! I'm bad”- a new negative program in the history of women.
Another man can cancel this program. When he in the same or similar situation says: “You are all right! You are OK. You are smart and beautiful!"
This is the basis for the endless expectations of the prince, who will come and "disenchant", remove the "curse". The situation is reminiscent of the proverb "They knock out a wedge with a wedge." But the wedge can miss.
And if he is not, such a man? You can wait for him to come and save you from the old scenario for years. The prince is expected at twenty and seventy.
This "spell" can be removed by another significant person for you, for example, a psychologist. Only if he is really a significant person for you.
Therefore, choose the right psychologist. And you can definitely change the program!
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