"The Theory Of The Janitor" Or "how Long Will All This Continue"!?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Few know what the "janitor's theory" is and why it is needed. But for many of my clients, psychotherapeutic consultations are divided into "before" and "after" they learned about it. And most importantly, we realized that they are the very "wipers". However, let's go in order.

Overall, my son is a very nice guy. And he has brains, and does not seem to drink, does not smoke. But he has no luck with work, he sits in front of the TV for days, watches ads in the newspaper, but nothing suitable. So we have been living for the third year already on my pension. You won't allow yourself a lot, but we have enough.

I study English with my grandson. He is very smart, understands everything, but is lazy, delays decisions. When there is absolutely no time left, I just tell him how to write and he writes. If it were not for me, I would have been walking around with deuces on homework and punishment from my parents. I'm still waiting for him to outgrow and start doing the exercises himself, because the brains are excellent.

Every time I go to the garbage chute - everything is past the trash can. I have already written announcements, and shamed them and hung up notes for them - everything is the same. They litter, and I alone clean everything behind them all the time, although I can't see it, and in general it's getting closer to their door. And how not to clean if it stinks and in general …?

It turns out like, a hundred times she said that a wet towel in the bathroom is a fungus to which he is allergic, but every time he leaves it hanging in a closed bathroom after a shower. He understands everything, agrees with everything, but he never removes or opens the door. I have to constantly ventilate and hang it on the dryer …

The demo model of the "janitor theory" is that every fall, when leaves begin to fall on the street, you never think about going outside, grabbing a broom and starting to clean them. Every winter, when it snows, you do not grab a shovel and do not run to shovel it at the entrance, plowing a path to the metro. Also, you are in no hurry to mow the grass at the entrance, pick up bottles and wrappers on the sidewalks, etc. Why? Because there is a janitor who will take a broom and a shovel, come and take away … Only then and where there is no janitor (for example, in a private / cooperative house) will you have to take a broom and a shovel and clean up, otherwise you will soon be mired in various kinds of sewage.

As long as there is a janitor, it does not even occur to us … =

As long as the mother maintains a "good" son, he will not start working.

As long as the grandmother does the tasks instead of the grandson, he is unlikely to want to do them himself.

Until the woman stops picking up garbage after the neighbors, they will continue to scatter it.

As long as the wife hangs out her husband's towel, he will leave it in the bathroom without fear of his allergies. Because there is … a janitor)?

If in your relations with others you have become a "janitor", it depends only on you how long all this will continue. Of course, there are situations when long-term analysis and painstaking work with a specialist are needed, but believe me, for most people, all that is needed is just to make a decision to stop being a "janitor" and bring it to life.

The described cases are demonstrative, not reflecting certain psychological traumas, scenarios, attitudes, etc. In this case, the only thing that matters is how often we ourselves take on destructive functions and unconsciously hold on to them.