Transactional Analysis: Brief And To The Point

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-07 22:18

Transactional Analysis: Brief and To the Point

Hello, friends!

In almost every article I mention transactional analysis. For 5 years this direction of psychotherapy has become close and dear to me. At the same time, the results of psychotherapy always exceed expectations and delight us with our Clients:-) Therefore, it is with great pleasure that I present you an article on what transactional analysis is and how it works.

So, in the 60s, one of the followers of the theory of psychoanalysis, Eric Berne, decided to go his own way and developed his own theory of personality. His theory ran counter to classical psychoanalysis only in that it could be explained in simple terms to most people. And this made the therapeutic relationship more trusting and effective for you.

In the structure of the article, we will focus on two aspects:

1. Personality structure
2. How therapy works

Personality structure

Psychology begins with a theory of personality, like theater from a coat rack. Any theory is based on the structure of a person's personality

Personality structure is how a given direction sees a person and his psyche.

There are 3 components in the structure, ego states:

• P (parent).
• B (adult).
• D (child).

Each of them reflects the emotional experience of different periods of life, memories and images of important people, or awareness in the present.

Parent's ego state

Psychology and psychotherapy is based on the fact that from birth (and in modern concepts even before him) and until the end of our life, we receive certain knowledge about the world, people and ourselves.

When we are born into the world, we still do not know anything about the world. Until the time we become able to be aware of ourselves and get our own experience (up to 3 years), the source of knowledge and experience are adults from the immediate environment. They have to instill a basic sense of security, give us names for our feelings, give us starting points about "what is good and what is bad."

This knowledge and ideas can be instilled both consciously and unconsciously. In addition, they can be broadcast both verbally and non-verbally - with facial expressions, gestures, even mood.

Observing important adults during childhood creates a strong emotional image of these people. This is called an introject. In our subconscious mind, a lot of introjects are “recorded” as on tape (parents, guardians, teachers, family doctor, grandmothers, grandfathers …).

What are these three paragraphs for? To the fact that the ego-state of the Parent is introjects and the experience that we received from adults in early childhood.

Inner Parentcan be in two forms:

1. SupervisingIs an inner critic who devalues, scolds and punishes us in our minds. When the Controlling Parent (CR) is active in us, we can be angry at others, at their imperfection. In this structure, there are prohibitions and prescriptions, instructions about how it is necessary and how categorically impossible, as well as persistent ideas about what will be for "non-fulfillment". CR is a specific adult who controlled, punished and often did not explain the reasons.

2. Caring Is a gentle, diplomatic, caring Parent. Also from childhood and also on the example of a real caring person. From this ego state, we rest despite the workload, eat when we are hungry, and support ourselves in difficult times. And we also take care of other people while in ZR. Recommendations, wishes, incentives and pedagogical punishments are "registered" here. But at the same time, there is more rational in the Caring Parent.

The Inner Parent is a very important part of us, necessary for everything to be good with us and so that we can interact with other people. However, the inner Parent often dominates the personality structure. And then a person can live as if not his own life, being in conflict between himself and his introjects.

It is important to remember that the Parent is part of the person, but not part of our experience. This is the experience of other people who have lived their lives. They formed their own fears and beliefs. It is worth taking them into account, but this should be at the level of choice, not an automatic reaction.

The ego state of the Child

As I wrote earlier, we come into the world with a blank slate. And already from the second trimester of pregnancy we get the first emotional experience. In this article I will not go into details, take my word here. Little children get this experience all the time, because everything is new to them.

The most important emotional experience for a child is the parenting experience. The parents' reaction to the child is based on his future picture of the world. It does not matter what the parent is verbally broadcast, it is important with what feelings he does it. Children do not have sufficiently developed rational thinking, but they perfectly feel the difference in emotional response.

The ego state of the Child Is an emotionally significant experience in different periods of childhood. Previously, the experience from birth to 16 years old was included here; today, the experience of birth is also included here.

If in the Parent there are prohibitions and prescriptions about how it is necessary and how it is impossible, then feelings and needs, as well as an emotional response to them and their satisfaction, live in the Child. There are fears, hopes, dreams, desires. In the Parent, the messages are contained in the form of introjects, and in the Child we ourselves live in the form of children of different ages in different states.

From the Child's ego state, we can behave as in a similar situation in the past. For example, we have a vivid memory of what happens if we get lost and when we find ourselves in such a situation, as adults, we react like a small child from that situation in the past.

Like the Parent, the Child is of two "types":

1. Adaptive, in the structure of which the Rebel is also distinguished. This is Our experience from the time when we were under the influence of a real Controlling Parent (aggressive father, abusive teacher). There is a lot of fear and suppression in this state. The Adaptive Child does not argue, allows himself to assume any responsibility and is afraid. The main fear in this ego state is the fear of rejection. The Adaptive Child is established from a very early age and is strengthened over the years. This explains the inability to quickly return to normal self-esteem. In addition to fear, there is a lot of guilt, shame, and resentment.
2. Rebel Child- this is Adaptive, which is tired of. A prime example of an active Rebel Child is the informal teenager. By the way, if you look closely, informals are the children of suppressive and overcontrolling parents. For a long time they are excellent students and "grandmother's joy", but at the age of 14-16 they break off like a chain, and now my mother's clever girl puts on a leather mini-skirt and goes to drink cheap wine. There is a lot of anger, fear, and desire to belong in the Rebel Child. This protest is usually formed at the age of 3 years (myself), adolescence and crisis age periods (every 10 years).
3. Free ChildIs a special Child. The ego state of SR is formed in families where the child can do everything that is not dangerous. This is the creative, feeling, thirsty and very living part from which we rejoice, have fun and come up with all sorts of cool ideas. CP is a spontaneous trip to another city, a combination of business with pleasure, unexpectedly good mood and a creative approach to ideas.

Being in an active Child, we, as in the case of an active Parent, are not in contact with reality. We react as “there and then,” as if we’re living “those” situations anew.

The ego state of the Adult

I won't write much about this ego state. This is a state of awareness, devoid of Childish feelings and spontaneity and not subject to Parental attitudes.

In the Adult, we are aware of ourselves here and now, and we react from the current age, adequately to the situation. There are practically no emotions in the Adult. However, our Inner Adult is able to “hear” both Parent and Child and make an informed decision.

This state is formed from the year when the first awareness appears and the baby begins to separate himself from his mother, distinguishing himself from the world. There, the Adult is still very unstable, but he is already there.

Each of us periodically "jumps" between all ego states and this is normal. An adult is in the Adult state most of the time. But in stressful situations or in situations similar to significant episodes of the past, even the most rational of us can "fall out" of reality, and this is normal.

Problems arise when the Parental or Childish ego state dominates, or when there is a constant internal conflict between them.

How therapy works

Transactional analysis is based on the fact that we interact with ego states. Moreover, we interact both in the external world - with other people, and in the internal - the so-called internal dialogue.

Internal dialogue very often has the form of a conflict (R-D; D-R, R-R, D-D). If this conflict is long and intense, we will face very difficult feelings, we will not be able to make a decision, or the decision made will not lead to a positive result. A striking example is the conflict between "I want" and "I must".

What happens at a psychologist consultation

A difficult or ambiguous situation may lead you to the consultation. Usually the request sounds like "help me make a decision" or "I can't figure it out."

In the office, we analyze a specific situation with you and separate your desires and needs from the attitudes and edifications of the Parental part. We then activate your adult, which allows us to make an actual decision.

It sounds simple and clear, and after a couple of consultations in the office, you will be able to do it yourself. But the catch is that, without the help of a psychologist, it is very difficult to separate ego states. Then there is the temptation to call the reasoning of your Inner Child the reasoning of the Adult, or to mistake the teachings of the Parent for the Adult.

When is psychotherapy needed?

People rarely come purposefully to psychotherapy. Usually you make this decision when you realize that troubles and difficulties happen to you regularly and in a circle. And no matter what you do, the circle remains a circle and everything repeats. Another reason for therapy can be a traumatic situation of any age.

During therapy, we analyze your introjects, get rid of their negative influence, in other words, we will give you a choice. In parallel, there is a study of your children's experience, the Children's part. As we explore, we will heal old wounds and thus get rid of toxic feelings - resentment, jealousy, shame and guilt.

The Inner Child learns to hear himself and speak about his needs, and the Inner Parent learns to hear the Child and take care of him, the personality is restored and healed. Often, after therapy, the Client's life changes dramatically.

Of course, this is not a universal scheme. After several consultations, the therapist develops an individual therapy regimen, since each of you is unique and his problem is different. However, I hope the overall picture has become a little clearer.

This article is not intended to bring everyone to therapy. But if after reading it you understand something about yourself and are ready to change - I will be glad to see you in my office and help you figure it out.

If you have any questions - write! I will answer with pleasure.