2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
The other day, while working with the experience of grief in a person, I heard the phrase from her:
"Your personal experience helped me to go into the experience of feelings." This is true.
After all, how it happens.
A client comes with different requests:
- depression, - apathy, - lack of energy, - no interest in life, goals, - psychosomatics, etc.
We begin to understand, and in the anamnesis there is an unlived grief: the death of a loved one (especially if a parent in childhood and adolescence), a series of deaths, divorces and partings
Exploring a person's life, I understand that symptoms are the result of that very unlived loss.
Of course, the request can be different, few people come: "Help me go through the mourning process."
I explain to a person that sometime in therapy, if you want to come to a comfortable life, we will have to work with grief.
But he is afraid …
Each one of his own: I can't stand the pain, it's a shame to be happy without it, it was a long time ago, I don't remember anything, and so on.
Someone fails to convey the need for such work. This also happens. And a person has the right not to hear me …
It is especially difficult to convey if it is delayed, frozen, or absent grief.
These terms indicate that there is no awareness of the link between unlived loss and symptoms.
In my next post, I'll talk about the types of grief
But there are people who understand the need and are ready to go to the solution of the four problems of mourning.
But it is difficult for them too. Side themes emerge in therapy. The decision to work with THIS is delayed.
Or it can be difficult to live through all the feelings, especially the anger directed towards the deceased (with a divorce, this is easier, but also not always).
So, with the girl I wrote about above, I decided to talk about my experience of working with the death of my father (he died when I was 3, 5 years old).
How difficult it was for me in therapy to find anger towards my dad for the fact that he died.
Much has already been done in therapy, but these "doors" did not open in any way.
I told about all this: what it's okay to be angry with someone who has died.
That everyone has it, but is almost always blocked, it seems socially unacceptable.
And anyway, how can you get angry with him, the deceased ???
My normalization and my own experience helped.
She definitely managed to work some part of her anger.
This was immediately reflected in the body - there was a place for a new one. An unlocking has occurred.
I was tired, and I remember it myself.
Feelings just seem scary. In fact, it gives tremendous relief and a road to the future.
Into an energetic future with new experiences, goals and self-development.
Recommended:
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