2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Clients who are experiencing separation from a partner and emotional dependence often come when the pain of the trauma is so intense that a person's life is divided into "before" and "after". The joy of euphoria is replaced by apathy and almost prolonged depression with a constant scrolling in the head of events associated with the object of the fatal attraction.
It resembles withdrawal symptoms or, in a simpler way, withdrawal symptoms.
Clients come to receive support in their experiences, to find answers to tormenting questions, to see a way out of the inner emptiness, when life around them becomes faded, and it seems that no alternatives are foreseen.
Some of the clients talk about the loss of a relationship with warm sadness, someone would like to erase painful memories from their heads.
No matter how painful and difficult it may be, any loss, any traumatic event lasts, at times, from a year or longer, and takes place in 5 stages. They must be lived. It is much easier with a psychologist. Additionally, you can work out your maladaptive beliefs, master self-regulation skills and solve a number of related problems.
The first reaction to parting is usually shock. For some time, a person is terrified of what happened. "Horror" can be expressed in detachment from the present, apathy. Or, on the contrary, people inclined to deny unpleasant experiences will pretend that nothing happened, that everything is going as it should. Someone can cry, show others hysterics.
In the second stage, anger comes. The person begins to blame the ex and even wish him the worst.
The third stage is bargaining. A person is trying to "digest" what has happened, he is in constant thought: why, why, what to do, how to continue to live?
The fourth stage is depression. When a person loses hope to return the relationship, he falls into sadness-sadness.
The fifth stage is acceptance. Ideally, a person assimilates this unpleasant experience, adapts to the current situation (for example, draws conclusions and transfers the locus of control to his new life - new hobbies, acquaintances, self-development, etc.).
Any unpleasant event can both demobilize and, on the contrary, breathe strength for a leap forward, open up new horizons.
Relationships play an important role in the life of any person. But why doesn't every relationship make you happy?
Even if a person is in a relationship, but is drowning in memories of the past, it can be assumed that he is not fully satisfied with the present.
And here it is worth asking yourself: "What did I get in the past relationship? Can I get it in the current one? How? How did I feel in that relationship? How do I feel now?" What emotions, thoughts, images come when answering questions?
Typically, a person yearns for a lost sense of self. Perhaps there and then he felt somehow special, loved, and all sorrows receded into the background.
Why isn't he able to feel that way now?
Usually, we are immersed in the solution of this issue in the process of therapy.
After all, even if a person idealizes a former partner, does he need it for something?
* Artist: Edvard Munch.
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