2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
- Dad, what are you afraid of?
- Darkness and psychologists.
- Psychologists understand, but why darkness?
- Can you imagine how many psychologists there are?
Some clients and acquaintances say that going to a psychologist or psychotherapist is scary, even if they have such a need, there is a strong understanding that a psychologist's consultation is needed. ⠀⠀
1. Often in a person there is a fear that the psychologist will recognize something shameful, hidden. Moreover, we are not so much talking about the fact that the psychologist will tell this secret, but about the experience of his "badness", which lurks inside and which is so difficult to present. ⠀
But the psychologist doesn't have to ALL tell. When trust builds up and anxiety subsides, it becomes easier to talk about important things. Most people think that you have to have a good reason or a particularly difficult memory in order to have a place to start. Not necessary. The work will progress even if the client brings fragmented feelings that are difficult to articulate. ⠀
2. It is hard to admit that you are not perfect - you are angry with your neighbor or boss, or even hate them. Difficult, but possible:). It is normal to feel this way, and the therapist will not judge you. This is not his job. The job of a specialist is to provide support and understanding of any feelings and life situations in a safe environment. ⠀
3. "Brain" - this is the word that surprises me very much, because we just do not touch the brain (neither literally nor figuratively), rather, on the contrary, we appeal to feelings. The fear that the therapist will dig, dig and dig … YOU, is much less often realized, although more often it is the true cause of anxiety. Sometimes people don't meet with themselves for decades … ⠀
The psychologist doesn’t force you to do what you don’t like. Quite the opposite - rather, he will teach you how to avoid this in the life you lead outside the office. ⠀
The fear of destroying your identity, the fear that someone from the outside will change you is an illusion, because the therapist is not omnipotent. ⠀
I am also sometimes asked to tell you what we do in sessions. ⠀
I answer - we are talking. ⠀
If we work in an art-therapeutic way, then the client draws, sculpts, listens to music, and we talk again. ⠀
Doesn't sound very scary, does it?
It often seems to people that without a psychologist it is possible to completely deal with all the difficulties.
Is it possible through introspection to solve your life problems? The question is not idle. What is the nature of the desire to answer all the questions yourself? ⠀
First, as is now clear, the person experiences a fear of therapy.
In addition, there is anxiety associated with changes and changes in life. At the initial stage of therapy, it is not so clear whether these changes are necessary. ⠀
Experiences about social resistance are also common - we are talking about doubts of this kind: how they will look at me, my relatives do not support, and many others. ⠀
And so the person chooses self-medication. Self-knowledge has not bothered anyone yet, there are a lot of books, the methods of art therapy, body-oriented therapy have come down to us, it's great that all this is there.
It's great to know that early nursery schools (mostly about the baby boomers and X generations) destroyed ties with their mothers, or that you can't beat children (“Well, they put a belt on me, and now I grew up as a human being”) - there is a lot of it. important, useful and turning the world upside-down information. ⠀
This is partly reminiscent of the "illness of 3-year medical students" or an episode from the book "Three in the boat, not counting the dog", where the hero read the atlas of diseases and found everything, except for inflammation of the patella. ⠀
What is the therapist for then? Is there something that you cannot find on your own? ⠀
Yes. Recognition is not a cure. First, unconditional non-judgmental acceptance is something that none of us can give to ourselves, internalized figures live in us, there is an intrauterine experience that is not available to us in our memories, different life beliefs, and it is not so easy to distinguish ours from those imposed … We have a lot of repressed memories, grief, traumas of varying severity.
And all of them form the canvas of the life that a person lives. ⠀ Some of the traumas can be detected by oneself, but it will not work to live them without a guide, whose task is to see, understand, help cope with intolerable experiences. The psychoanalyst will not take the position of a mom, or a dad, or a boss - for this he himself undergoes personal therapy, but will take a position solely of your needs and healing, and you will not only learn new things about yourself, but also embark on your own path, with new experiences, without a bag of unnecessary and imposed beliefs.
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