2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Albert Ellis identified 12 main attitudes that neurotize us and do not give us the opportunity to live normally and to realistically assess events, facts and situations.
So:
1. All people should love me, accept and approve of my actions. For example, if a person sees that someone does not approve of him, dislikes or criticizes deeds, then he is in constant anxiety and nervousness. Since it is impossible to catch other people's thoughts and feelings of other people, as well as meet their expectations.
2. I must be successful in everything, be flawless and perfect in every way. In this attitude, a person also falls into a vicious circle, since everything cannot be done perfectly. Everyone makes mistakes😨
3. People who make mistakes should be punished. If a person has done something bad, it is his responsibility, delusion, ignorance, stupidity, emotions, and so on. We do not know what exactly was not in his situation, so it is advisable to develop tolerance, as they say "to respect the delusions of other people as your own."
4. It's awful when things don't go the way I want them to. In this attitude, infantilism and magical thinking are manifested. The world does not have to live up to my expectations, it is what it is. And from my "wishlist" is unlikely to change anything.
5. The person is worried that he cannot control various circumstances and situations. Thanks to this attitude, he is in constant tension and is struggling to influence external events and situations, and when this does not work out, he is perceived as defeat and failure.
6. An unpleasant situation gives rise to anxiety. Even if the situation is really bad and unpleasant, there will not be much benefit from excitement either.
7. Avoiding responsibility and difficulties. By running away from solving problems, a person creates even greater problems for himself. And if some decision is postponed, then on the contrary, there is even more depression, anxiety and remorse.
8. I believe that in my life there should be someone stronger and more powerful than me, on whom I could rely. If there is no such person, I feel unhappy, and my life is lonely and meaningless.
9. My past mistakes in childhood determine my present. Past experience is a good thing, but you don’t have to dig in there all the time.
10. We do not always like what others are doing, and sometimes we put a lot of energy and effort to make them change in the “necessary” direction for us”. If you are pissed off by another person's behavior, just think about why it pisses you off?
11. It's terrible if I can't find the right solution to some problem. This is the "paralysis of the perfectionist." The main thing is to do "well enough" and life will immediately become easier.
12. I must always control my emotions. And if this does not happen, then I am weak. Emotions must be learned to express, since this is our mental health.
Is there something peculiar to you from the list?
Recommended:
Your Own Life Or A Relay Race From Your Childhood? The Right To Your Life Or How To Escape From The Captivity Of Other People's Scripts
Do we ourselves, as adults and successful people, make decisions on our own? Why do we sometimes catch ourselves thinking: "I am now speaking like my mother"? Or at some point, we understand that the son repeats the fate of his grandfather, and so, for some reason, it is established in the family … Life scenarios and parental prescriptions - what impact do they have on our destiny?
How Unresolved (not Healed) Problems Can Ruin Our Lives
In this article, I would like to talk about why it is so important to work with your negative feelings and emotions, to live them and let them go, making room for new events in your life. “I am alone, on my own. They will betray you anyway.
How Rules Ruin Your Relationship
Each of us learned from childhood the system of assessments badly and well. It is quite simple and understandable, because the key concepts in it are right and wrong. On this basis, even in childhood, we begin to form our own rules, which later become our rules of life.
Parental Precepts, Or How To Ruin The Lives Of Your Children
How many YOUR thoughts are in your head? Born by you personally? How many of your desires? How many choices in your life do you make on your own? Everything? Half? Occasionally? What if I told you that you sleep and act like a robot 95% of your life?
How To Live YOUR Life, Not The Life Of Your Parents
In the family system, all of its members are interconnected. And there is a place for everyone. For example, children are in front of their parents in order to be able to lean on them. The grandparents are behind the parents, and so on. The ancestors behind our backs support, give a sense of acceptance, security and strength.
