2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
The main conflict of the obsessive-compulsive person is the conflict between submission and protest. An obsessive-compulsive person makes a compromise: accepts the values of a powerful environment and suppresses his own individuality. Building on Freud's observations of the obsessive’s tendency toward thrift, rigidity, and righteousness, Ferenczi called “sphincter morality” such a person’s striving for perfection and a willingness to judge others for not living up to his high standards.
As a child, the obsessive-compulsive person was punished for failure and very rarely rewarded for success. He was given little warmth and was controlled in everything. The main task of such a child is to avoid criticism and punishment. In childhood and adolescence, such people were most likely often intimidated and forced to obey the rules unquestioningly, "stepping on the throat of their own song."
Among families raising obsessive-compulsive children, there are old-style families, where control is mostly expressed in moralizing, in guilty statements such as: “It upsets me that you are not a responsible enough person: you do not feed the dog on time”; “A big girl like you should be more obedient”; "Would you like it if someone treated you like that?" Moralizing utterances follow these patterns. Parents explain their own actions from the point of view that it is right (“I don’t take pleasure in punishing you, but it’s for your own good”). Productive behavior is associated with virtue, such as “salvation by work” in Calvinist theology. Ideas of self-control and future reward are highly welcomed. / N. McWilliams /
Another type of family conditions that influence the formation of the obsessive-compulsive personality style is chaotic and inconsistent. People raised in an unpredictable or family environment that was characterized by confusion and confusion, were able to withstand, due to identification with other patterns of behavior or worldview, may demonstrate an approaching obsession with values or feel a compulsive need for law and order.
Elena's neighbor, whose parents suffered from alcoholism during one drunken scandal of her parents, took the crying girl to her home for several hours. While staying with a neighbor, a little girl heard a woman giving detailed instructions to her daughter in cooking borscht over the phone. The detail of the instructions impressed the girl so much that she began to cook all the dishes according to the cookbook, which she took from the regional library. Since then, the thoroughness of following the recipe has become constant for Elena, like some other behavioral acts.
Such a pattern of behavior often appears in adult children, whose parents suffered from alcoholism or drug addiction. Their absolute obedience to any value system or to the laws of order and self-discipline gave them the opportunity to avoid the confusion that was in their family and ensured the creation of a structure that they would henceforth abide by.
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