2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
The topic of managing your feelings is relevant to almost every person on earth. Regardless of whether - Man he or woman … This applies to all people, since we are all alive and we all have certain feelings.
And the main problem we face is that feelings push us to do certain (rash, ridiculous, stupid, dangerous, erroneous, etc.) actions, make decisions or say words that we later regret - we make unnecessary purchases, do meaningless things, offend loved ones, plunge into negativity, etc. This is because feelings control us, and not rational consciousness at all.
It can't change
The truth is that the mechanism by which feelings control us, and not us feelings, cannot be changed. At least not to change quickly, easily and naturally (which many secretly dream about, but many are afraid to admit to themselves). The ability to control your thoughts, feelings, behavior is an ability that directly depends on the degree of a person's awareness. And the degree of awareness of a modern person, let's say, is very low and only tends to decline.
Another truth is that feelings-emotions are not independent self-sufficient processes ("programs") of the unconscious, but only consequences, effects, manifestations of attitudes, ideas, "programs", decisions, postulates, "mechanisms", which are a dime a dozen in the unconscious. which form a complex multi-level and multi-stage "network-relationship" among themselves.
To control this or that manifestation (feeling, emotion) of such an idea (a set of ideas), one must have a level of awareness ABOVE that at which this idea is perceived as a “natural part of life”.
For example, for a person it is normal, self-evident (albeit socially condemned), the idea that "you have to shit so that the other does not get it." Everything that will enter the "zone of dramatization" of this idea (conflicts, rivalry, other people's successes, and so on) will cause fierce irritation and anger in a person. What is called "butthert". He will not be able to control this anger, he will only be able to suppress it and drive it deep into himself.
But there is a way out. Rather, two. The first is to master the methods (techniques) of tactical response to "unplanned" manifestations of feelings.
Tactics
The most ancient, proven and reliable way is breathing. There are many exercises that the non-lazy reader will find in books or websites. For example, "breath square". Or the Basic PEAT technique. Yes, just an ordinary deep breath in and out allows, if not to stop, then to suspend the active dramatization of the idea, which causes certain feelings.
Another trick is to sensibly and rationally begin to evoke the opposite feeling. For example, if you feel that you are overwhelmed by "sadness-sadness-anguish", then begin to actively smile and make body movements that are performed by a joyful and happy person. It is impossible to experience both feelings at the same time and one of them, sooner or later, will recede.
Another technique is to, again, in a meaningful and purposeful manner, "switch" your attention to something from external reality, which is capable of evoking other (positive or rather neutral) feelings and emotions in you. Take, for example, a pen / pencil / keys, twirl them in your fingers, take a closer look, remember what good and good is connected with them.
I teach some good practical techniques in the course "How to overcome stress in life and at work". Be sure to study it.
Strategic work
Serious work in learning to control your feelings is solely in raising your degree of awareness. Because only awareness of something gives us the ability to control it (our internal mental processes). Raising awareness means starting clearer and clearer (without "blinders" in the form of illusions, erotic fantasies, false beliefs and all sorts of shiza) to see reality as it is. It takes courage and courage.
If you are ready to raise your awareness, ready for long, scrupulous, diligent and methodical work on yourself, then I invite you to take the free online distance course "Codes of the Unconscious", where I give the necessary foundations and techniques for working on yourself.
Recommended:
“I Don’t Care About Your Feelings. And I Lived For Many Years Without Any Feelings. Why Should I Change Now ?! " Case From Practice
Oksana, a young unmarried woman of 30 years old, turned for psychotherapy due to a general feeling of emptiness, the loss of any meaning and a vacuum in values. According to her, she was "completely confused", did not know "what she wants in life and from life.
TRUTH IS NOT TRUTH
In the morning and in the evening. Instead of praying and exercising: “Should I tell people with obesity that they are fat? Do I need to tell the badly dressed people that they look ridiculous? What if you want to help them become better or even save their health?
How To Live Feelings: Learn It Yourself And Teach Your Children
We are living in amazing times. There is so much information available now. For me personally, this is very important. And before? Our parents didn't know a lot. I don’t know what would have happened if they had known, but … they didn’t know.
Learn To Manage Your Condition
Have you ever noticed how your inner state is changing? Do you notice where this comes from? You woke up in the morning, and the thoughts are already about what needs to be done today and how? Or you woke up and the mood is on top, thoughts do not run ahead of you and you live the day, knowing for sure that everything is fine
Trust Your Feelings, Your Intuition
Have you ever wondered how the development of man took place in the process of the evolution of mankind? Primitive people lived on the instinctual level. They needed to take care of food and safety, so that they were not eaten by animals, killed by enemies, and various natural phenomena did not cause harm.
