Former Husband And Razor Blade. Somatic Therapy For Trauma

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Divorce, loss. Parting. A short word that hides a loss.

Loss of meaningful relationships. It happens that the consequences of loss may look like this:

She loved Him, got married, was cheerful and happy, especially in the first months, until He first raised his hand on her … And then again, again and again. And all the more terrible and furious. For a long time she did not believe in what had happened … she found excuses, explanations - until she understood - it was time to save herself. Still alive. Departure, divorce

And She was lucky to meet a man and get married again and give birth to a daughter … But..

The back hurts unbearably. But excruciating, debilitating headaches, thoughts of suicide … and tears … tears … tears … I can't live like this anymore! The loss is not only about adults. In the same way, children can live parting with a parent. And pain - like a memory - chest pain, back pain, can remind you of a loss for a lifetime

This is the memory of the body. A bodily echo of the trauma of the loss of meaningful relationships and the memory of abuse.

As a rule, people come to therapy in a depressive state, when they need a preliminary consultation with a psychiatrist, and only then - psychotherapy.

So, somatic trauma therapy. (I refer my colleagues to the works of P. Levin).

In this approach, a traumatic event is considered as an interrupted event, an incomplete natural defensive reaction - flight, fight or torpor. Restoring these natural body responses involves healing.

First stage - perhaps the most important is the establishment of an atmosphere of trust and safety, cooperation with the patient. Yes, this is how any therapy should, but remember that a sense of security is especially important for those who have experienced violence or shock trauma, because the victims already have a history of not being able to protect themselves. Dealing with trauma and its traces is not carried out using coercion! The patient has the right to interrupt therapy at any time.

Second phase - search for resources. Before going into battle, the fairytale hero gets himself weapons or assistants. And with us everything is exactly the same. External resources - support of family and friends, hobbies. Internal - thoughts, images, memories, sensations. Let's stop here. We need to find those bodily sensations that support and strengthen - pleasant sensations of warmth or coolness, vibration, tingling, a sense of the flow of energy with a pleasant memory.

We will develop resources, learn to call them like Sivka-Burka: "Stand in front of me like a leaf in front of the grass!" It is the resources that will allow you to work with trauma and maintain inner balance.

Stage three - creating the boundaries of the traumatic experience. Trauma is not endless - it has a specific set of bodily reactions. Our task is to learn to be aware of them, track them and name them. These are usually bodily symptoms such as constriction, spasms, tremors, palpitations, dizziness, etc.

Thus, two "funnels" are created - the "funnel of trauma" and the "funnel of healing".

Actually, therapy takes place thanks to a "dialogue" between two funnels - when bodily sensations switch from the state of a resource to the state of trauma and vice versa. Slowly, step by step, working consistently with each of the symptoms.

Now let's get back to the very beginning:

At the reception, a 32-year-old woman who survived a difficult divorce - her ex-husband was jealous of her, beat her, threatened to kill her. She literally managed to escape from home, take refuge with her parents, and file for a divorce. Several years passed, she got married again, gave birth to a child. But suddenly the past "covered" - a difficult memory, tears, fear, a feeling that life has no meaning

Depressive state, the attending physician recommended psychotherapy.

The traumatic episode is clearly outlined - even the very memory and the story about it causes tears, a feeling of a lump in the throat, and nausea.

To work with such a complex of symptoms requires strength - the resources that we look for in the same place where the trauma is localized - these are the resources of the body.

The feeling of peace came from the warmth in the area of the shoulders and forearm. This sensation for the patient was associated with memories of childhood and adolescence, with the embrace of her parents:

- The shoulders become warm, there is a feeling that they will protect me, they will not be offended, they will calm me down … like in childhood … As if they hug me … Immediately I remember my parents, daughter, husband. I feel calm and warm when I put my hand on my forearm …

The patient sways slightly, strokes her forearms, smiles.

It is useful here to strengthen the bodily resource - to observe the sensations of warmth, peace, security and their transformation.

The patient's mood changed dramatically during the session: from confusion, depression, she moved to calm joy from a feeling of security, and then, as the resource state intensified, to a feeling of calmness and readiness to fight.

Now we move on to the stage of semantic processing. This is because the loss of a meaningful relationship often blocks the ability to Trust another.

In our case, the patient is unsuccessfully trying to "replay" her story with her first husband, in fact "not noticing" that she lives in a different time, in a different place, with a different person. She is tense all the time, trying to "keep in control", "not to expose herself to the blow, because trusting is painful."

Our task was to separate this complex of feelings towards two completely different people - a complex where love, fear, hatred, resentment, distrust, and hope are mixed.

Here you can apply the technique of tracking sensations in the body - including painful sensations.

It is very important to use the momentum tracking technique.

Movements can be anything - defensive, wrestling, freezing movements. In our case, the trembling in the hands was replaced by clenching of fists and a series of blows on the back of the chair.

Aggression accumulated but not realized. After a series of blows, a feeling of relaxation, peace, and tranquility came.

The understanding came that the story with the ex-husband is the past, and the relationship needs to be built with another person. Immediately came a feeling of calmness and fatigue … The bodily pains were gone. There was a feeling of warmth throughout the body.

In the course of further work, a new image emerged. Chest pain was described as a casket that contains something very important. So important that it's scary to open it.

- Look at the box. Where is she now? - Everything is in the same place, in the chest. She is beautiful, old. And very hard. Presses. - Look at her carefully, do not rush. What's going on with the box? “I’m scared to look at it… here the lid opens by itself… there is a razor blade…. I’m scared… It’s sharp…

The patient strokes her forearms, huddles into a chair, in the very corner, draws her legs, clasps her knees …

- What do you want to do now? - Throw away this image … This rusty and dangerous blade … With a gesture she shows how she throws the box away from herself along with its contents. - Continue this movement, continue to throw away from you

The throwing movement soon turns into a hitting movement. The blows are accompanied by shouts: "Here you are!" "On the!" "Never touch me!"

After that came a feeling of calmness and pacification. It is characteristic that most often patients do not even suspect how much and what kind of emotions such "boxes with razors" keep.

This is how the interrupted movement of protection was reacted and completed - it gives warmth in the body, a feeling of peace, pacification and (!) The opportunity to defend oneself.

Here, with the permission of the patient, are excerpts from the work. The therapy has not yet been completed. But what has already been achieved: the feeling of general anxiety has disappeared, the right to defend oneself has been acquired, the relationship with the ex-husband has ended, somatic manifestations have gone - headaches, chest pain.