Loneliness Is Boredom

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I recently listened to the song of Glory "Loneliness":

Stone Lady, Ice Tale

Instead of a heart - a stone, instead of a feeling - a mask

So what? It hurts all the same

A lonely cat, a free wild beast

Never cries, believes no one

So what? It hurts all the same

Loneliness is a bastard, loneliness is boredom

I can't feel the heart, I can't feel the hand

I decided so myself, silence is my friend

I'd rather have sinned, loneliness is torment"

I thought that folk art in the form of pop songs clearly and figuratively describes the pain of clients who come to the reception of psychologists. It is no coincidence that some songs, getting into the people, become a hit for many years. This is a legal way to feel, accept and live through pain. I remember that in moments of offense I myself sang Natalie's song: “The wind blew from the sea, the wind blew from the sea. I will cry, get angry, reassured, I go on to talk with my Beloved. My partner knew that if Sveta started singing, it would be better not to climb. She will chant and herself will come to talk, to clarify the situation.

Actually, I didn't want to speak about singing, but about boredom.

To begin with, I will give a definition of this concept. Boredom is a kind of negatively colored emotion or mood; a passive mental state characterized by a decrease in activity, lack of interest in any activity, the world around and other people. Unlike apathy, it is accompanied by irritability and anxiety.

I heard the thought that boredom is not terrible for a busy and intelligent person. I reflected on this topic and came to the conclusion that boredom, like any other mood, affects all people, regardless of status, age, gender, state of health. Also, that boredom is different for boredom.

In my article, I want to draw attention to boredom, which is regularly present in life as a background or as a leading state.

It can manifest itself like this:

- I do not want to do anything, my soul does not lie to anything;

- I do not know what to do, I am not interested in anything;

- I'm bored with my friends, husband, wife, empty and uninteresting;

- I'm tired of my work, I know everything about it, I go as if to hard labor;

- has ceased to see the meaning in any actions and deeds, do or do not do - all the same, nothing will change;

- in order to feel alive, I need to constantly add adrenaline to my life, otherwise emptiness and longing will fill me;

- etc.

I would like to draw your attention to the fact that boredom differs from apathy by the presence of strength, anxiety and irritability. Those. I have strength to do something, but I do not want anything, I am not happy.

From personal and professional experience (experiences of clients), such boredom, when closely examining and feeling, is perceived as something separating from other people, from the world, from life. As if there is something that prevents you from feeling the taste of life, getting closer to it. Many interesting things can happen around, you can live among loved and loving people, outside the window there can be spring in full swing with its thirst for life, and the impression is as if they were disconnected from the source of life. High criticality is characteristic, both to oneself and to the environment. Silence, emptiness, cold, melancholy, loneliness. Unwillingness to move, or vice versa, excessive activity to escape from this. An important part of experiencing constant boredom is the impression that connecting to life depends on the other person. It would be more correct to say from the emotional response of another person. A response that speaks of value, importance, necessity.

This kind of experience has its roots in early childhood, in a relationship with a mother or any other person who was constantly around and cared for. One of the important functions of the mother is to make it clear to the child that he is visible and audible. The more often and more the mother looks at the child's face, smiles at him, talks to him, describing the world around him, and voices the baby's actions, the more she makes it clear to the new person that he is and he exists.

We can say that it gives life again. But not a biological being, but a person with a certain character, temperament, needs. With his attention and recognition, he allows the child to be what he is.

If for some reason the mother or any other caring person is not able to reflect, respond, acknowledge, then instead of "I am", an inner emptiness is formed, which will continue to sound like boredom.

How to treat it, you ask? Any early attachment disorder is healed only in a long-term, secure relationship. It is good if you meet a marriage partner who will give you the opportunity to "lick" your inner wounds. Usually, in life, there are "two loneliness", each of which needs warmth and acceptance, and, alas, they themselves are little or not capable of giving. Therefore, to fill the inner void with oneself, long-term regular psychotherapy is necessary.