Killing Society

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The society sometimes so overshadows us with its demands from itself, from its true needs, its individual path, its own choices, that it breaks the personality and destiny of a person on the knee. The programs put into our heads by our ancestors, the expectations of our ancestors, force us to walk through the cells, not stepping over the edges of alien and alien requirements and expectations.

Many of us do not know what we want and, deceive ourselves, they feel inferior, without getting married, without having a child, without starting their own business, without buying a car and apartment, while not thinking much about their true desires, not being ready to what society expects from us, our parents, friends, living not their own lives and hiding from ourselves that all this is "not mine."

It is too brave for a woman, for a man to tell herself and society that “I don’t want a family and children,” but I want to draw pictures or make events for children and adults, “I don’t want to get married, but I want to live alone, traveling around the world and studying philosophy or other cultures "," I do not want everything that you want me, it is important for me to listen to myself and my inner voice. " But.., it's so difficult to come to this courage and stop being ashamed of yourself and waiting for condemnation for your otherness. Indeed, in society, as they say: if not married, then something is wrong with her, but who needs her! And this is considered the norm!

But this is some kind of looking glass, because sometimes, people, fearing condemnation, fearing to be of no use to anyone, live for years in toxic relationships, suffering and sick. Or maybe it's the other way around? Is this lack of relationships and loneliness the norm? But then, society will stop multiplying and humanity will die out. It is difficult to raise a child alone, but a partner is needed to give birth. So we live on instincts and violence. And the worst thing is, we die of this tolerance for violence, we endure boxing and get sick, we leave ahead of time, we go crazy and drive our children crazy.

I have seen too few mothers in my life who were really ready for motherhood, but I have seen so many mothers and fathers who declared "long-awaited child", but at the same time the same child was in their way and they rejected him in every possible way. I myself was not ready for motherhood: but society made me, as it did many of us. I was not ready for marriage either, thinking, like many girls, that a husband is something like dad and mom. And while I thought so, my marriages fell apart.

Now I am engaged in therapy, in the process of which something appears in people that society does not welcome: instead of a false I, the true I: people return the right to be themselves at 30, 40 and even 50, when most of their lives have been lived. I often repeat the words: don’t do anything if you don’t want, but how is it possible for the baby’s mother to realize it when the first three years only have to do what you don’t want? In general, the joy of motherhood is only in awareness and in the conscious choice of renunciation for the sake of love for the child. But did society warn us about this?

The joy of marriage is not in the fact that they will help, support (this is about mom and dad), but in the freedom of choice given to you by another person, freedom that no one encroaches on, hiding behind a stamp in the passport, the freedom to do the best for a partner completely voluntarily what you are capable of, without thinking about how much they will return to you later, without fear of losing it, do not out of guilt, but out of love.

The joy of a relationship is when you do not extort love, do not present an account, do not demand, but give. But does society teach us this? Alas, society dictates all the same medieval foundations: in them one takes power over the other, or both compete in a pair for power, and any relationship perishes in this competition. Society teaches us not love, but violence, abandoning ourselves, our true self.

Will a person who has given up on himself be able to love a child? No! He will make an unspoken deal with his child: You owe me! Will the wife of her husband, who considers herself inferior without marriage, be able to love? No, she will be afraid of losing him, not love. And this is what society teaches us. Therefore, there are so many unhappy people: society teaches us to be unhappy. And the task of each person is to hear his inner voice, to study himself, to realize all his hidden motives and desires, and not to try all his life to look for a reflection of himself in the eyes of society.

Live without being reflected!