Five Ways To Restore The Flow Of Love

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Five ways to restore the flow of love

Ideally, the mother loves her child. Loves unconditionally. Loves endlessly. Loves every fold of skin, every finger, every eyelash. He loves as his reflection and continuation. And he takes care of, and cherishes, and feeds, and drinks, and dresses, and dresses up, and wakes up in the morning, and puts him to bed in the evenings, and tells good fairy tales. Mom doesn't like him. He cannot admire and breathe on him. And all her labors, filled with love, seem to her to be pleasant chores. Happiness, and nothing more.

But in reality, there are many cases when the mother does not have this unconditional, unlimited love. No, from the word at all.

• The pregnancy happened at the wrong time, at the wrong time. Study and exams, work and business, health conditions unsuitable for pregnancy, etc. etc.
• Pregnancy did not happen from the person with whom the girl wants to continue living together, happily ever after.
• Due to pregnancy, I had to forget about great love and marry an unloved person.
• In connection with the pregnancy, I had to cheat, lie and disguise myself.
• Pregnancy was from her beloved husband, but he was jealous and accused the woman of walking up from another and demanded a divorce.
• Pregnancy after an episode of sexual assault.
• The tenth time they waited for a boy, but the tenth girl turned out.
• Early death of the mother.
• A special unresource psychological state of the mother (“frozenness” in mourning for completed relationships, for aborted children, for her parents, etc.)

You can add your own reasons to this list that you know or suspect …

In addition, the reason for the lack of love may be that mothers simply nothing to love … She has no such energy available. Her own mother did not transfer this energy to her.

In addition, it can also happen interruption of the flow of love and exchange on the part of the child.

Mom ran to the store, was absent for 10 minutes. The child woke up in the room alone. I got scared and began to call my mother. Mom didn't come. It seemed to the child that his mother had left him forever. A child's fantasy is so arranged, it can very strongly distort reality.

And when, after 10 minutes or after 3 hours, the child no longer has the strength to scream, he switches himself to energy saving mode. Mother came running from the store. He wants to hug, kiss and caress him. And he doesn't need it anymore. He mentally buried her and transferred himself into an orphan regime of self-sufficiency, isolation and detachment. In this case, we can say not about what the mother does not give, but about the fact that the child does not take from her.

It is very painful for him to hope, wait, believe and not receive what is vital for him. The spoons were found, but the sediment remained.

Sometimes this absence of mom happens symbolically. Mom is near, but mom is not with the child.

For example, she is at home, but she is not busy with a child, but with remote work for the boss.

Or another example. Mom constantly promised the girl to buy a toy or something else valuable for the child, but she never bought it. And the child grew up, "underwhelmed, disliked, underwhelmed." The focus of the child's attention is not on what the mother gave, but on what the mother did not give. With such a focus, no matter what the mother gives the child, everything will not be enough for him. He has already devalued her herself, and everything he gets from her. By the way, this very often happens when a mother singles out a pet among her children. The rest of the children in this situation feel left out.

Rarely, but the following phenomenon occurs. The feelings of those women who lost the battle for a man (the child's father) to her mother are shifted to the child. For the losers, having a child as a couple is a requiem for their hopes for marriage and a relationship with this man. And they wanted him so. A girl identified with women who are in love with their father and left alone carries their hostile feelings towards their own mother, and the consequences are dire. The mother chases her daughter “in the tail and in the mane”, “squeezes her out of the light”, “humiliates and insults, without choosing words”, as if the daughter is her enemy. The same happens when the grandmother (mother-in-law) hates the mother (her daughter-in-law), but the energy of this conflict shifts in the mother-child relationship.

Therapy of such cases in the constellation is carried out using several techniques:

First reception. Re-establishing contact with the mother

In this case, the permissive phrase may be: “Mom, I really need you. Wherever you are, you are my mother, I am your daughter. You are older, I am younger. You give, I take. You gave me life, thank you very much. I just accept it as a gift without any sense of guilt. Life is a cool thing, a truly magical gift. I will gratefully accept whatever you give me, any help, support and blessing. Everything that you give, I will take everything and put it into action. And I will make something very good out of this, for myself and for your joy."

Try to imagine what age of the client is this permissive phrase?

Reception of the second. Resignation to facts. Acceptance of the situation as it is

In this case, the division of the internal space into subpersonalities helps, one of which is "the adult part of the client", and the other part is "that child's part that takes offense at the mother." In this case, on behalf of the adult part, essentially directive hypnosis of the child part is carried out: “Mom gave you everything she could. She has nothing else for you. There is nothing to waste on grievances and claims. The one who has fewer claims gets more. Let's go ahead into our life. Now I will be for you both for dad and for mom. I'll take care of you. I will not give you offense to anyone. " After the reversal, all its parts (subpersonalities) are integrated into one's life.

Reception third. Dividing mom into two hypostases - positive and negative … This is done in the case when the charge of negative emotions in the child is maximum and they need to be expressed verbally (in words) and non-verbally (in movements, screams, emotions, tears, etc.). In such cases, first of all, it is necessary to help the client express complaints, anger, aggression, resentment towards the mother, whatever they may be. I warn you, you need to reserve all the time in the world for this unloading. It can complete successfully in 5 minutes, or it can take as long as an hour. You must be prepared to devote sufficient time to this process.

Then, when the emotions "settle down" and the tears dry up, you can move on to another incarnation of the mother - the one who gave life. Communication with this part of mom is always a very touching moment in any therapy. Just try to do this, talk to “the mother who gave me life,” and you yourself will feel everything, you yourself will understand everything. With a genuine sense of gratitude, this conversation can be a powerful resource. The reception is called, "Conversation with the one who gave birth to me."

Reception fourth. Getting support from women of the genus (female stream)

If you don't have to wait for a resource from your mother, the situation in the relationship is very difficult, then you can try to ask the ancestors for the resource over the mother's head: “My dear ancestors, it so happened that I do not have enough support from my mother. Therefore, I am addressing you directly. Give me the power of the clan, give me the energy of life, give me the support of the ancestors. And I will take everything and put everything into action. And life will go on. And the family (clan) will flourish. For the sake of continuing life! Please!"

Important: As with all permissive phrases, intonation is of paramount importance. It is important that the constellator, by his own example, carried the client into the right tone of maximum respect and reverence for the ancestors, and then the results obtained will be noticeable almost instantly and will surprise you very much.

Reception fifth. Become the founder of your own new dynasty

If the relationship with the mother is toxic to the limit, sometimes (fortunately this is very rare, one in a million), it is easier for a person to become the founder of his own new dynasty and rely only on his own resources. Without contacting, not exchanging in any way with my mother, carefully taking care of the borders and protecting our territory. In the end, everyone has the right to choose the most effective ways to take care of themselves.

So, my dear readers! Let's summarize.

Different mothers are needed, different mothers are important. Someone gave the child less. Someone more. Someone gave more than one, and did not give another at all.

A small child is highly dependent on the mother. He cannot choose.

And an adult “child” of 20-60 years old has the right to choose for himself the most effective way to live his life, to build his relationship with his mother.

We discussed "Five Ways to Restore the Flow of Love"

If one of the methods does not work, you can try another.

Finally, let me remind you of the truth as old as the world.

Not a single child received everything he wanted from his parents.

The glass received from the parents is always not 100% full.

And it only depends on you what to do with this gift.

You can stand in front of your parents all your life, accusing them of shortage, demanding to top up or add more gifts to the glass.

Or you can rejoice at this gift, thank your parents for it, turn into your life and multiply it. Make the whole world shine with new colors. Make yourself a very live person. Make your life happy, healthy, rich.

What will you choose?

It's up to you to choose!