2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-07 22:18
I was inspired to write this article by talking to a friend. With a note of despair in her voice, she shared with me that the years go by, but the feeling of achievement is still there and no. Yes, and a haze of instability hangs over an elderly soul: they say, a year has passed, but I have not achieved anything, and indeed: we live in times of fear and uncertainty. The future is unstable, the state does what it wants, start-up entrepreneurs are not given access to the market, and a man - even more so, science does not know how to control him … What should he do? How to decide? How to get your joy?
If you need to make a decision and you are reading this article for this purpose, let me congratulate you: you are a happy person because you have a choice.
I talked with people who were unable to make decisions. These were, from the point of view of the average citizen, extremely unhappy people. Some had no hands, others were wounded in the eye, and some had stuttered from birth. They had only their own attitude to the fact, which they could not change. If you have a beating heart, two arms and two legs, as well as other organs and parts of the body that are important for functioning in our world (and you are not serving a sentence in prison or sitting under a medieval gallows), I congratulate you, lucky one! You have the power to make a choice.
The knowledge that you are always free to choose serves as the foundation for a healthy psyche and high success in life
Now let's see how to make decisions
What to do. It is best to do this technique when you are in a good mood. If a good mood is not foreseen, take the following technique as a game - in fact, like everything in our life. Seriousness is the main obstacle to great decisions. You are free to take seriousness with you, but don't let it influence your choices.
Let's say I have a choice:
a) I can hang on my fragile shoulders a project, the implementation of which - God knows if I can manage - I will have to write in two weeks. I'm not sure if this project is within my power, and the work looks terribly boring. But if I do, I get a bonus of $ 100. New Year is on the nose, and I wanted a new dress for myself …
b) I love to be creative. Nothing serious. Baby talk. In my free time I paint pictures. I draw this way, but when my husband comes home from work, he comments so funny on my modest artistic efforts that both he and I - and it feels like even our cat - are dying of laughter.
Now let's ask ourselves: what to choose? Here you are lying on your deathbed, like a king from Game of Thrones, wondering what you have done in your life that makes you smile through the pain. And you know what? For some reason, it seems to me that two weeks of endless stress will hardly figure on the list. But the sharpness of your husband and his nose, smeared with paint, will probably spread over your body with a wave of love and comfort.
How much does it cost? The project brings in $ 100. It does not bring me long-term pleasure, except for a lonely second when the bank sends me a text to replenish my account. It is likely that the money potentially set aside for a dress will be spent on basic necessities: boring shopping from a series of eggs in the store and paying for Internet services.
Drawing brings happy memories. I don’t make a dime from them, but in the end they play a much larger role in the comfort of my life than all my nerve-sucking projects put together.
How much am I willing to pay just to look at my husband's happy face, smeared with gouache, again? $ 100? Hardly. Much, much more.
So what do you do? I am not urging you to quit your job and sit on the couch with a pack of Pringles. Such a pastime is unlikely to give you a lot of emotions. Rather, it will only exacerbate the feeling of “I'm a lazy ass. I'm not good for anything. " (here it would be appropriate to suggest you google the "coat of arms of the order of procrastination").
Surely you have activities that give you the feeling of flying. Such an occupation does not have to be one. There may be several of them. It is not necessary to isolate one and call it "the meaning of life." They can, but shouldn't, make you money. It would be presumptuous to assign such a responsibility to creativity.
A good friend of mine once told me that when she plays with a dog, she feels alive. It is unlikely that anyone will pay you to play with the dog, unless you are a dog handler and work in a pet hotel.
Such activities, such emotions, such moments of joy that are freed from the element of financial gain, as a result, turn out to be the most valuable, while the race for material bonuses and the infringement of our right to sincere joy deprives us of those very simple joys in life that we love we mark it with the hashtag # happy_memories and #nostalgia.
The action plan is as follows:
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Learn to be happy. (Yes, oddly enough, not everyone knows how to rejoice properly. Not everyone can do it).
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Learn to let go of your guilt over the joy you have experienced that doesn't make you money
- Realize that joy is present only now, in the present. Our attempts to control the future are childishly arrogant and in most cases end in frustration and failure.
- Realize that stability is the most shaky concept in the world. In addition to the fact that it is purely individual, it is also extremely selfish: to think that we can foresee everything in the world, having shouldered the world course of events on our fragile human shoulders, at least takes away the lion's share of our priceless time. And in the worst case, it plunges us into a joyless experience of emptiness, boredom, meaninglessness of being, and other negative philosophizing.
- Make decisions based on feelings of joy, pleasure, and comfort. Listen to yourself, and only yourself. Listen exclusively to your soul. Nobody knows which university you need. Nobody knows what food you need to eat to lose those extra pounds. Nobody knows what kind of pet you are best for, what book to read, and what frame for glasses to choose. Only you. Only you know that. It's only your choice.
Lilia Cardenas, psycholinguist, announcer, English teacher, psychologist
If you are stuck in Groundhog Day and don't know what to do about it, this article will help you get the hang of it:
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