2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Don't you think that something important in your life is passing by? On the one hand, everything is fine, and you live a calm, measured and stable life, there is a job, a home and a safe place, but on the other hand, something very important is missing. Sound familiar? You all dream of creating the relationship of your dreams or establishing current ones, writing an excellent musical composition and posting it on the network, starting your blog or YouTube channel, writing a book or completely rethinking your life, changing your job.
A day, two, a month, a year pass - you are already 30 years old, another breath - and 35, but the most cherished has not come true.
Why is this happening? Where do you drain your energy? What bad habits are taking your life from you and plunging you into this quagmire?
So where does your energy go?
Senseless spending time playing games, drinking alcohol, talking to friends on the phone or when meeting. You communicate for days, hours - and these are conversations "in a circle", about nothing. And here it is not at all about excluding communication with friends. Friendship should be in the life of each of us, but when talking about the same thing and just in order to “waste time” or anxiety (in this case, you feel that something important for your soul is happening in the dialogue), you understand "I am doing something, but not what I really want to do." This is how we transfer our true desires to something less important.
Improper, disturbed diet, sleep and daily routine. How do people working remotely live? Often, until 4 in the morning, they can do something meaningless (watch TV shows or play games with friends) because they cannot sleep (they are “cooking” in their anxiety - “Nothing important happens in my life! I can't do anything!”), And wake up 5 minutes before the daily morning Skype meeting (10-11 am, sometimes 12-13 pm). It is high time to get involved in work, so breakfast, lunch and dinner are skipped, moreover, the whole day they are haunted by the feeling that they did not give themselves something important (they only drank coffee, did not rest for half an hour - and this is morning time for themselves for many people are so important!), missed everything, and now we quickly got down to work. At 8-9 pm, a person says to himself, "That's it, you need to rest!" It turns out a vicious circle - with this anxiety you go to bed, then wake up, and every day the tails of unfinished work grow, and every day anxiety grows, and as a result - work on the weekend. All this leads to the next point.
Lack of rest - there are no normal weekends, you are bogged down around the clock in a quagmire of protracted affairs and work, not allowing yourself to rest.
It also happens that all this is not connected with each other, but united by anxiety (“I have to do something important in life, useful and breakthrough, but I don’t know how!”). This feeling eats up, so the person remains at the level of "running in a circle" (meaningless activities, violation of the daily routine, lack of rest).
When we watch TV shows / movies, play games, we actually do not rest.
Our brain is loaded, and it needs strength and time, energy to process the material received. Even if the information is meaningless and you just laughed, you have already loaded your brain, and it does not have the resources to generate new ideas for life, for your breakthrough and future. A good rest implies that the brain must completely rest. For example, it can be a walk on the street (you walk and think about a building, about a person passing by, about a bird - and this is a free flow of consciousness, you do not force the brain to work), meditation, yoga, any sport, a relaxing bathroom and any procedures, communication with nature and animals - everything that is only here and now in some connection with oneself and one's sensations (eyes, hearing, touch).
You have too much turnover and most importantly, you attach a lot of importance to small things (to the point of obsession). For example, you cannot just submit a daily / weekly report, you are scrupulously working on it - put a stick here, a tick and a dot here, add numbers, change the structure a little, etc. (and so you "cut and cut" it, getting tired until exhaustion, but tormented by the fact that he is not good enough). To some extent, this is perfectionism. Another example is you are a senior manager and you need to hire an employee. But you are not just hiring, you are struggling to choose the best, because “all the responsibility of the world” is on your shoulders. If you do not like a meeting, you either throw all your strength and energy, spend six months or a year to remove / improve it, or spend several hours before and after in terrible annoyance, tormenting yourself, instead of dealing with real life rather than a meeting. Sometimes people can prepare very meticulously for daily meetings, preparing presentations and thinking over every word, but in fact, this is a useless action. The main problem here is your anxiety about not doing anything important. That is why you are trying to start crawling around in your little sandbox. And this is not your fault - the psyche becomes so under the influence of upbringing and environment.
A tendency towards material and emotional limitations. All the time you save for some important purchase that will improve your life, help you in your work (for example, a comfortable chair, a table, a new computer), accumulate emotions. For people who work remotely, this moment is especially bright - they are waiting for them to accumulate enough energy, which will overflow the banks. For example, they want a relationship and are ready for it, but they wait for the desire to accumulate enough to "break through"; there are ideas about what to write a book about, thoughts are boiling, but instead of sitting down and writing, taking notes, starting to jot down notes, they wait for the energy to accumulate ("And then in 24 hours I will sit down and write a book!") make everything perfect, cool and fast. Likewise in relationships - as if you want so much energy to run to meet five at once, choose one and get married. But you won't have that much energy!
Such "accumulation" and waiting for the right moment suggests that you have a lot of injuries, and it is they that make you not act, but save, as if waiting for the time when "will be". Accordingly, a person lives in the feeling that he endures all the time, gritting his teeth (“I'll suffer a little more, then everything will happen!” - but in reality nothing special will happen). You need to do everything gradually!
Remember the important point - it is not your fault that you have such a character! When certain character traits were formed that would help you, there were no loved ones around who could teach you everything that would help in the future to successfully cope with difficulties in life. The main reason why this is happening is that you do not have enough resources. Why couldn't the loved ones do it? They themselves did not know how. However, now you are an adult and you are free to choose, find and organize for yourself the support and resource that you need, which was not enough then and, accordingly, is not enough now.
Think and you will make the right choice to solve your difficulties in life!
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