The World Does Not Obey Me Or How To Stop Aggression

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

American expert in the field of aggression and its manifestations, John Burns, as a result of many years of research, claims that aggression is a self-starting mechanism that proceeds as an escalation process.

The author divided the growth of the state of aggression into 9 stages. For each stage, certain signs are characteristic and, therefore, it is possible to recognize hostility in time and prevent its further development before the attack.

It is widely believed that aggression is triggered from the outside, that someone or something can influence the appearance and manifestation of this state.

But John Burns proves that aggression is a consequence of the choice of the person himself, who himself launches and spins it up.

A person learns aggression by observing patterns of behavior in the family, in the social circle, through the media. In modern society, the popularity of the manifestation of aggression is explained by the fact that such behavior allows you to quickly get the desired result. In addition, Russian "cultural" norms support her: "Give it back!" - teach the kid in kindergarten. Domestic forms of violence also flourish: parents punish their children, husbands beat their wives, the saying is relevant: “If you are not bim, you are not loved,” and so on.

The essence of aggression can be formulated with the phrase: “ My truth is stronger / more / more important than your truths! ”And the higher the level of aggression, the greater the aggressor's confidence in the right to unlawful actions. After all, aggression is a form of induced insanity with the desire to avoid responsibility for their actions (a state of passion).

The first level of aggression can be felt or seen at the level of the physical body: CONFIRMATION occurs. Muscles are stiff and tense. Tension appears in a person's behavior, he distances himself, his level of empathy for the interlocutor decreases. Inside, he feels resistance to the information that the interlocutor communicates to him. There is growing confidence that "my information is more accurate / better than yours."

If you notice the manifestation of the first stage of aggression, ask the interlocutor a couple of questions: "What danger do you feel in my words, my proposal?", "What do you think about what I said?"

The second level of aggression is manifested as perseverance and is expressed in the form of debate, dispute. A person fixes his attention on his own point of view. He selects arguments only with the aim of proving the superiority of his point of view and refuting the arguments of the opponent. He listens to the interlocutor in a special, "filtering" way, the main task is to use the enemy's speech against him.

The usefulness and importance of the interlocutor's information is not taken into account. Being in a sense of his righteousness, the aggressor literally "tramples" the opponent's information.

This is facilitated by a decrease in brain activity due to a sharp amount of adrenaline in the blood. Adrenaline constricts the vessels of the brain, and the person becomes dull right "before our eyes".

You can cope with the aggressor at this stage by drawing his attention to the fact that the opponent's information contains facts that are valuable and important for him personally, or you can use the refusal to dispute. There is no need to enter into an argument with him, an argument, otherwise he will continue to prove his case, and the level of aggression will increase and move on to the next stage.

The third stage is actions instead of words. A person who is at this stage of the development of aggression begins to act "without demand." He enters the office without knocking, sits down without an invitation. Can push the opponent out of the way, slam the door. The third stage of aggression can be expressed in the words: "go away, go away." Silent actions enhance the “image of being right,” the spiral turns, aggression rises to the next level.

Avoiding the manifestation of aggression is possible only by avoiding contact or by attracting representatives of authority (call a guard into the office), or people who have weight, authority, importance in the eyes of the aggressor (call a brother, father).

The fourth stage is the destruction of the opponent's image. Words and behavior are used that destroy the authority of the “enemy” for his close circle of contacts (family, colleagues, friends). Sarcastic, caustic or ironic remarks are made to the interlocutor. Pupils so often "drive" teachers - putting them in a humiliating, helpless position in front of other students.

At this stage, the aggressor clearly expresses his disrespect for the opponent, ceases to see him as a person. At the same time, the desire to avoid responsibility is clearly expressed, which is usually expressed in the words: "I was joking, you misunderstood me."

You can cope with the aggressor by placing him in a position of responsibility for the words spoken, or by setting boundaries: "Can you clarify why you are telling me all this negativity?"

If escalation cannot be prevented, the aggressor proceeds to the next stage.

The fifth stage of aggression is the forced “loss of face”. The task of the aggressor is to destroy a person's authority not only for a close circle of people, but also in public.

Words of insult and humiliation, a list of mistakes, mistakes and failures in the past fly to the opponent.

The way to cope with the aggressor: to show him that the interlocutor is a person, a respected person.

And to turn his attention to the question: how confident is he in his righteousness, in his point of view? Even a small doubt that has crept into the mind of the aggressor can "change anger to mercy."

It may be recalled that his actions fall under the influence of the Criminal Code.

The sixth stage of aggression is the ultimatum. The aggressor seethes with righteous indignation and turns to direct threats. It makes sense to talk about the powers of the criminal code and suggest calling the police.

The seventh stage is the stage of limited destructive blows (the offender hits on the periphery): hit on the backside, slap on the head, slap on the hands. Purpose: to cause pain in the opponent, to make him feel the strength of the aggressor.

Typically:

1. Loss of verbal control: a person gets confused in words, loses "speechlessness" or "carries nonsense."
2. An excess of adrenaline causes the centralization of blood circulation - blood flows from the periphery to the center (heart, face). Hands begin to go numb, which is manifested in the fact that the aggressor begins to clench his fists.
3. "Tunnel vision" appears - the aggressor sees only the victim. Peripheral vision is not working (he will not notice if someone hits from behind).
4. Loss of hearing. A person in this phase of the development of aggression is not just unable to hear the opponent (victim), he does NOT HEAR at all, even the sound of a shot.

Methods for avoiding aggression:

Shielding. There should be large objects between the opponent and the aggressor (large table, sofa).

Out of sight. You can leave completely or stand on the side.

Calling the police. In this situation, minor injuries are possible.

The eighth stage is the attack to win. The aggressor begins to beat the victim to defeat: in the face, in the stomach, in the groin. Will beat until the victim either faints or dies.

The degree of idiocy reaches 99%, like that of Ivan the Terrible, who killed his own son.

At the same time, the aggressor, beating the victim to death, takes care of himself: he dodges blows, tries to hit with his feet or objects so as not to injure his hands, etc.

Self-defense measures can be used: gas canister, stun gun, baton, forced hospitalization.

The ninth stage is the abyss. He kills the enemy to the detriment of his own integrity, not paying attention to himself, according to the principle: "I will bend, but you, you bastard, will also die." Complete madness.

The higher the level of aggression, the less the aggressor is able to see in the victim a person, a personality

At the ninth stage, a person is not in front of the aggressor - he sees “scum that must be destroyed at any cost,” even at the cost of his own life, freedom, health.

There is only one way out: shoot to kill.

• To cope with your own aggression, it is important to learn how to slow down the automatic reaction at the moment of tension, at the first stage of hostility. Remember that it is only in your power not to spin the flywheel to the point of no return.
• If you are faced with hostility towards you, take urgent measures in accordance with the degree of aggression: leave, flee, call the police.
• If you witnessed the manifestation of aggression, do not stand in front of the aggressor - step aside, ask questions that will help the attacker to doubt his righteousness and see the victim as a person. If direct intervention is required, then at the 7th stage of aggression, you can approach the attacker from behind or from the side and hit to stun. No need to wait for the transition to violent actions of the aggressor - call for help.