2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
This article is my attempt to explore a common, and probably already repeatedly described, type of self-other relationship. With the development of social networks that stimulate the assertion of a person's personal importance by piling up followers, it becomes especially easy to "isolate" in their superiority
The other day I was in a taxi. We started a conversation with the driver. The driver turned out to be a relaxed, self-confident man. Sometimes his statements sounded patronizing: in his presence I had to make an effort to communicate on an equal footing, without slipping into the role of a child. In the process of communication, the man shared that he had spent a good ten years working as a corporate trainer. He spoke about this as a preamble to the main point, which he expressed approximately like this:
“All people are sheep. These are stereotyped biorobots who are not able to think creatively and in an original way”.
The generalization of “all people” into gray biomass, herd, zombies and biorobots and the position of an impartial observer in relation to others is encouraged and cultivated among our contemporaries. In news stories, the state representative usually plays the role of an objective, rational-minded person, while the protesters are portrayed as uncontrollable boars who undermine the peace of civilians with emotionally unstable antics. American psychiatrist Arthur Dijkman described this phenomenon in his book “The Wrong Way Home”. He noted that in news stories, the maturely understanding and condescending attitude of government officials is often opposed to the “irrational” behavior of people from the people. The researcher noticed that the opinion about the majority and minority, classes of the population, actions and motives of other people are formed in our minds thanks to the methods of opposition that news sources use.
Opposition is an attempt at compensation.
In the modern race to succeed, most of us feel invisible, insignificant, and unloved. We are tormented by the not always expressed feeling that our life is worthless. The manipulations of those in power are pushing us to follow one of two forks: to agree that our voice is shallow and to stop “rock the boat”, or to go against our oppressors, trying to break the system. While some people manage to oppose the existing order with something categorically superior to it, most travelers on this path find themselves drawn into a race for happiness.
Feeling deeply insignificant, we try to compensate for this uncomfortable feeling. A car and a small carriage of protective mechanisms are invented, which divert attention from the feeling of one's own triviality and mediocrity. This includes subcultures and existential clichés common among teenagers, cheating “likes” and attracting followers, based not on belief in the originality of an idea or a useful, unique product, but for the sake of attraction itself. We try in this way to nullify the sense of mediocrity by finding acceptance in the outside world.
According to the latest research, the search for the meaning of life is fundamental for a person. The search for meaning, which exceeds in intensity the search for pleasure or sexual pleasure, distinguishes a person from other beings. The dissatisfaction that seethes against the background of being after the survival needs have been met is evidence of this guiding urge. We are looking for evidence of a connection with the Universe in the external world and meaning in dreams (and we are right: in the work “The Man and His Symbols” Carl Jung shed light on the value of interpreting dreams). We want to mean something - for loved ones and friends, civilization, and the small importance that the philosophy of materialism ascribes to human life contradicts this deep need, which is in full swing at the source of every person.
Precisely due to the fact that in one way or another we are asserted in our insignificance, we have a need to compensate for this unpleasant feeling. Usually we push it into the subconscious, from where it continues to give hints at the most inopportune moment. Have you ever had that when you found yourself in the position of an expert in your field, an inner voice began to find fault with you and devalue you: what do you supposedly think of yourself? What do you even know?
Finding a healthy way to follow the search for meaning on your own can be difficult. Shepherd's syndrome - self-aggrandizement by belittling the importance of other people - stems from fear, is energy-consuming (after all, it needs to maintain the image of a “teacher” every second) and inevitably leads to neurosis. Trusting relationships with people who are able to provide feedback from a position of love and concern should definitely not be neglected. Different points of view bring a freshness of perception that is inaccessible to one person. Brainstorming, having a friendly conversation with a loved one, keeping a reflection journal, or working with a therapist can be significant for the person who has chosen to follow the path of mindfulness and love.
Lilia Cardenas, transpersonal psychologist, non-duality therapy
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