2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-12 20:57
From time immemorial, there has been a tradition on Christmas Eve to guess at the narrowed mummer, and today I thought about how it works. And I came to an amazing conclusion - it works!
True, I didn’t quite guess, but made plans for grooms, and it was not always Christmas Eve, but it always worked.
Ever since school I began to get carried away with books on popular psychology, which offered a variety of techniques, among them - "Portrait of a Beloved". The meaning of the technique is very simple - you need to write the most detailed list of the desired traits of the qualities of your future life partner. In those days, I followed all the instructions with the diligence of an excellent student, and carefully prepared for the fateful meeting!))) And here are the results.
Portrait number 1.
My boyfriend:
1. Handsome (I really liked the actor Zac Efron);
2. Sociable;
3. Many friends;
4. Lots of hobbies;
5. The soul of the company.
6. There is a BMW of the latest model.
If you analyze this list, you can see that at that time the social side was most important to me (like any other teenager - such a period) and not a word about interaction in a couple.
At 22, I married the one I ordered. A few days before the wedding, I found this list and was very surprised at how everything coincided, even the appearance, only there was no BMW, but it turned out to be his favorite brand.
I must say that the universe solemnly handed me ….. tadam! - a narcissist.
My God, why didn't they write safety instructions for those who want to place an order in that little book ?!)
In general, regular readers of our site have already guessed what kind of fruit it is and what kind of relationship it is with it.
Well, I will tell newcomers that our marriage did not have much personal life - only the bright radiance of the ex-spouse in various companies, and for this he took energy resources from loved ones.
Having received such a vivid experience and having gone through a divorce, I sat down to write the following list.
Portrait number 2.
1. Successful;
2. Responsible;
3. Attractive;
4. Healthy;
5. Cheerful;
6. Generous;
7. Delicate;
8. Attentive.
And I got it. And everything would be fine, but it turned out that he already has a civil marriage and he is not going to change anything. And the rest is just darling! You will not find fault.
Well, I'm already a smart girl, taught by experience, and when I heard in my next lecture that you need to guess not the personal qualities of a man, but how you want to feel in a relationship with him. And I decided that it was necessary to combine both techniques.
Portrait number 3.
1. Successful;
2. Responsible;
3. Attractive;
4. Healthy;
6. Attentive;
7. Cool sex;
8. Free;
9. In a relationship, I want to feel desirable, gorgeous and unique.
So what do you think you got! Everything as I wanted, but who would have thought that the biggest disadvantage that balanced all these advantages was counter-borrowing and, as a result, workaholism.
After these 3 vivid examples, I realized that this technique has a peculiar sense of humor and it slips unexpected surprises. And I stopped using it, because the portrait can be written out to the smallest detail, but it will not be possible to take everything into account.
Having walked this path, I realized that it is pointless to improve my "Ideal Man" template, but you need to take care of yourself because a mature and developed woman can build relationships with anyone and this is the only way to healthy and happy relationships. How to become mature and happy? Personally, psychotherapy helped me with this.
In the meantime, we are looking for halves and compensation, we will receive unexpected surprises.
_
Thank you for your attention.
Best regards, Natalia Ostretsova, psychologist, psychotherapist, Viber +380635270407, skype / email [email protected].
