Can A Person Be HAPPY Living In LONELiness?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

From the point of view of biology and psychophysiology, we are not adapted to a lonely life (justification below)

From the point of view of psychology, people are able to go beyond the predetermined framework of biology. See explanations below.

And here opinions can be fundamentally divided - on the one hand, strong, free and independent, coupled with those who burned about the relationship, on the other, traditionalists and those who consider the biological component to be decisive.

Consider both sides, from the point of view of biology and psychology, bypassing the topic of prejudice.

Psychophysiology inclines to the answer that the lack of daily informal relaxed communication, body contact and emotional release has a bad effect on the hormonal background, on the nervous system and all associated life support systems. Well, in accordance with the mood and well-being. More on this in the article on polyvagal theory below.

If you have enough patience to read it, you will find out the main biological reason why we are unhappy alone and, it seems, it is much more serious than social pressure.

Many have heard of experiments in which babies died without physical contact and their development was slowed down. Feeling well, being able to relax, and healthy self-esteem all suffer from a lack of communication.

But the stress of loneliness also affects adults very strongly. When we talk about the statistics of depression and suicide, the factor of loneliness is always close. Especially if you pay attention to the periods of "family holidays"

But life stress is even worse, in which a person gets used to emotional discomfort and perceives it as normal. Stress is a normal part of our life, but if it is not constantly relieved of stress, the body begins to get used to living in a debilitating mode of survival. to add drama, I give a table. If you do not read English or do not want to understand the nuances, this is not necessary to disclose the topic, it is enough to realize that everyday stress activates survival reactions (hit-run-freeze) often imperceptibly and many organs work unproductively.

So of all the natural mechanisms of constant regulation of stress, home communication is the main one. Its effect, like the effect of stress, is often unnoticeable. But the researchers found that it is this mechanism that works deeply and for a long time, involving the parasympathetic system, serotonin and oxytocin responses harmlessly, effortlessly and quickly and on a constant basis, which cannot be said about other ways of regulating stress.

Ideas that one can live alone without stress break down on the psychophysiology of human nature, the number and intensity of stressors matter only in extreme stress. In fact, people who avoid stress are nervous about insignificant stressors. The human body is designed to live with others.

Relationships by themselves are always stressful and even distressing. Troubles and disagreements in relationships are usually much more intense than the stressors of single people. But biologically, stress in relationships can be regulated and propelled, and as a result, has less dramatic consequences than alone.

Understandably, there are such relationships that they destroy more powerful than any other everyday stressors.

Destructive repetitive scenarios of life, codependency, toxic relationships, gaslighting are the main reasons for avoiding relationships in general. Experiences like these often distort perceptions of reality and affect judgments.

But even with these layouts, it is better to learn how to resolve relationship problems and painful scenarios is much more profitable and safer than isolation, no matter how beautiful philosophy it is adorned with.

Psychotherapy often puts things in their place.

Now the bomb!

The main biological reason why we are unhappy alone and seems to be much more serious than social pressure according to Dr. Gubermana is tachikinin.

This neuropeptide molecule is believed to be responsible for half of human suffering. It poisons our lives, reminding us of our biological duty to evolution, to humanity, and so on and so forth. When we do not spend time in a close circle for a long time, she provokes anxiety, dissatisfaction and paranoia, forcing us to seek contacts.

But people of a creature are such that they adhere to everything and can convince themselves of everything.

It is unhappiness and anguish that push people to look for new ways to be happy.

Some people succeed.

Yes, more often than not, behind the bravado of freedom and independence or a beautiful picture of solitude on the seashore or in a cozy room in a plaid behind a book, there is a story of pain and powerlessness.

Yes, all stories about "solitude is not loneliness" is primarily a product of compensation.

Such a picture of aestheticized “solitude” is most often a hope for peace, but in fact it brings peace only for a short time, returning to “loneliness” with depression, despair and self-dissatisfaction.

Most often, loneliness is a topic or forced or a product of psychological trauma, when a person does not know how, does not know or does not believe in the possibility of healthy relationships as a result of his own wounds and existing systems of "protection".

BUT!

It is fears, counter-dependence and tachykinins that provoke people to move the wheel of evolution, create humane rules of communication, create philosophical concepts, art, and follow the path of spiritual practices.

And we end up not limiting ourselves to finding satisfaction, we are exploring the possibilities to create HAPPINESS; o)