2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
When a father strokes his son's back to help him fall asleep after a nightmare; when a mother holds a crying child and gently kisses his forehead; when a father listens carefully to his daughter's story about something unfair that happened to her at school, these are emotionally open parents. They don't just calm their children, but teach them how to calm themselves down on their own.
IMPORTANT COMPONENT
Imagine now emotionally dismissive parents. They come in different flavors. For example, they may be busy only with themselves, and therefore they simply do not notice the needs of their child. Or they can be terrific parents on all visible planes, helping to achieve the child's material and educational needs while ignoring the less visible but much needed emotional component of life.
Think of parents who work multiple jobs trying to stay afloat. Think of parents who do not know how to comfort themselves and therefore cannot calm their children. Or think of people who are simply not in tune with the world of emotions. All of these parents, albeit for different reasons, are unable to adequately respond to the emotional needs of their children.
HEALTHY STRATEGIES
Self-help is nothing difficult. These skills, like any others, can be learned and mastered. To identify effective self-help strategies, the first thing that can help you is remembering your childhood. Were there any such things that were your consolation then?
Be careful when deciding on a strategy. Make sure they don't harm you. For example, alcohol, shopping, and eating may seem like quick and good solutions, but they should never be used to calm down. They may end up giving you another problem - addiction.
Below are some examples of healthy self-help strategies that have been identified and used effectively by others. Go through this list and leave only the ones that work for you. Then refine with your own self-help ideas. Keep the list as accessible as possible, use it when you need it.
IDEAS FOR SELF-HELP
- 1. Make a bubble bath or scented salt bath.
- 2. Prepare a cup of soothing tea.
- 3. Take a hot shower.
- 4. Listen to your favorite music, and prepare in advance playlists suitable for a particular mood.
- 5. Wash or polish the vehicle.
- 6. Go in for sports: running, cycling.
- 7. Clean up the apartment, wash the floors, dust off.
- 8. Rearrange.
- 9. Play a musical instrument.
- 10. Prepare your favorite meal.
- 11. Spend time with your pet.
- 12. Just go for a walk.
- 13. Call a friend or girlfriend.
- 14. Lie on the grass and watch the clouds.
- 15. Go outside at night and gaze at the stars.
- 16. Watch a good movie.
- 17. Sit in a quiet place and meditate.
An important component of self-help is self-talk. They are the most useful and versatile of all strategies. It has to do with literally talking about yourself to yourself through your uncomfortable, unpleasant feeling. You can do it in your head, in any place convenient for you, even connect fantasy and music to create the perfect space for yourself.
GOOD HELP PHRASES:
- 1. "It's just a feeling and it won't last forever."
- 2. "You know that you are a good person."
- 3. “You tried your best and it didn't work. We'll try again next time."
- 4. "It will pass."
- 5. “I need to understand what I can learn from this situation. What to take into the future and what to say goodbye to”.
The possibilities are endless, they must be determined by the situation and how you feel.
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