The Psychology Of Lucky People: How Do They Do It?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

My teacher used to say: "Those who are lucky are lucky". Everything is so, hard work, perseverance and independence are important, however - that is why some of them regularly have happy occasions and successful acquaintances with interesting people, while others sit behind the stove all their lives? To "carry yourself", you still need to "harness the right cart", but where does an ordinary person get it from?

I think I understood something. Now I will explain everything, only first I will tell you about one experiment in the psychology of attention.

Experiment with a newspaper

British psychologist Richard Wiseman investigated the characteristics of successful people. He placed an ad in the newspaper, where he asked those who consider themselves either abnormally lucky or a complete failure to contact him. Then he followed the subjects for a long time - he conducted interviews, asked them to fill out questionnaires, keep self-observation diaries. Finally, Wiseman ran a series of experiments. The subjects were given a newspaper and instructions: to count the illustrations in it. It turned out that the counting takes about two minutes and a little. But not for everyone: those participants who called themselves lucky (and their previous life experience confirmed this) spent a few seconds on the task. The "lucky ones" were not particularly fast, the fact is that on the second page of the newspaper there was a huge announcement: "STOP COUNTING: THIS NEWSPAPER HAS EXACTLY 43 PHOTOS". Large, noticeable letters. But those subjects who counted pictures were not distracted by all sorts of nonsense like reading headlines and honestly completed the task from start to finish. It was the "losers" who honestly counted the pictures to the end.

Another time, the newspaper had an equally large headline: "Tell the experimenter you saw this ad and he'll give you $ 250." You guessed it, probably: and this ad was also noticed only by the "lucky ones" who are lucky in life, and the "losers" again tensely counted the pictures.

What was the difference between these two groups of subjects? Who are they - people to whom luck falls into their hands? And how are they better than those who are totally unlucky?

According to the results of research, Wiseman found that the "lucky ones" are not smarter, not more talented than the "losers" and certainly do not have any special character traits. Except for one thing: Losers are tense and focused on the task, less relaxed and not inclined to notice any changes in their surroundings.

That is, the number of successful opportunities turned out to be equal for everyone (everyone was given the same newspaper with an offer to pay $ 250), but only some could notice this chance, while others did not. And new opportunities for a person are made "invisible" by their narrow-mindedness, stereotypic nature, and their attitude to a specific task. Obstinacy, if you will. If you are very busy with your daily routine and no one will warn you that today on the street they will be distributing $ 250 to everyone, then you have every chance of not noticing this and not taking advantage of the opportunity.

In fact, the "lucky ones" are simply more open to new opportunities. The lucky ones are simply more likely to find themselves in places where something can happen to them. Successful people try new things more often, respectively, more often than the average person, make mistakes - with a probability of 50 to 50. But the lucky ones do not get hung up on the bad yet, they quickly recover from troubles, do not scold themselves for a mistake and are ready to try something fresh again. Losers, on the other hand, constantly walk the beaten paths. They honestly do their job (for example, count pictures), but are not distracted by any innovations and are wary of the prospect of risking something unfamiliar in advance. If the unlucky person agrees to try the unusual and fails, he will remember her for a long time, scold himself and not get involved in adventures for a long time. Losers need guarantees - and there are no guarantees in the world.

Research results have shown that the lucky ones:

• Are in a cheerful and positive mood (in the sense that they forgive mistakes to others and themselves and rather expect good from life than try to avoid bad);
• Willingly take advantage of the opportunities provided (and these opportunities themselves create);
• Listen to the inner voice (intuition) when making a decision

It is also interesting that the lucky ones have their own psychological techniques for "luring luck", and almost all of these techniques are about how to diversify everyday experiences, make changes in them. For example, one study participant regularly changed routes from home to work. Another lucky man played social games with himself: going to a party, he decided that today he would talk to all men in dark or women in white. Here you really want-not-want, but you have to start conversations and get acquainted even with those with whom you did not plan to communicate.

Any changes make life small, but stressful and make you shake yourself up, drop out of your usual state - and, therefore, notice everything new, potentially bringing changes. After all, if good luck happens to an ordinary person, it is only because he was at the right time in the right place. And almost always this new place differs from the well-trodden paths of everyday life.

The average person seeks to make everyday actions as habits as soon as possible and continue to run in a circle of repetitive routines, as they say, "without regaining consciousness." For the average person (let alone a loser), change is an inconvenience and stress that he tries to avoid. And only the habit of change makes the lucky ones so lucky.

But change is always stressful and a sense of danger. The way things go can be boring and boring, but most importantly, it's safe. In the usual, there will be no unpleasant surprises, and any deviations from the routine bring both pleasant and unpleasant innovations. And the average person (and even more so - for a loser) is not so much attracted by pleasant prospects as they are afraid of possible troubles.

The unknown is frightening.

There is a special psychological term to describe the willingness to meet new people: "tolerance for uncertainty."

Uncertainty tolerance implies:

• ability to work in conditions lack of information
• the ability to make decisions in a probabilistic situation (when outcome is not guaranteed, for example, with a probability of 40% there will be result A, and with a probability of 60% - result B)
• keep in mind many conflicting information and at the same time not lose the ability to act effectively
• deal with variability and incomprehensibility of the environment

In fact, the “lucky ones” have a significantly higher tolerance for uncertainty, while the “losers” have a low tolerance. A loser is anxious, afraid of change, tends to cling to the first decision that comes along and follow it (since being in a "suspended" state is unbearable for him) - therefore, by the way, losers believe in simple, albeit wrong, decisions and are reluctant to change beliefs, even when they are not correspond to reality.

So what do you do? If any changes cause stress and most of all you want to hide under a blanket and hide under it from the raging hardships of life?

Tolerance and openness to new things can be developed

I remember how one day an acquaintance (let's call her Marina) told me about her experience of seeing something new. Marina is a tall lady (over 180 cm), large, and, accordingly, it is not easy to find clothes and shoes in size for her. Marina told how one day, many years ago, when the shoe and clothing markets first appeared, she wandered around such a market in search of elegant women's shoes in size 44. No shoes came across. Marina was angry and despairing. And then she suddenly remembered: after all, she had recently read a book using a certain methodology "Simoron", where advice was given: to achieve a miracle, you need to do something unexpected! Well, Marina broke it off. She went out to the platform between the rows at the market … and danced vigorously. With shouts, tatters, waving her arms and even bouncing (her height, I remind you, is over 180 - she is a noticeable figure). And Marina tells how almost immediately, in the very first shoe row of the market, where she turned after her bright tour, she bought cute, large-sized shoes, comfortable and comfortable (and then wore them for several more years).

Yes, I also know what Simoron is. And no, I don't recommend it (it's not even quite psychology). But the principle in this method is similar: to do something unexpected (first of all, for oneself), open the horizons of consciousness, and then a blurred look can be replaced by the opportunity to see new possibilities. Well, Marina danced so-so shoes.

Is it possible to train yourself to be open to new things? Well, let's say it is worth using methods that teach you to see fresh colors in the already familiar:

• Body practices like yoga, qigong, contact improvisation in dance … In them, you need to constantly discover something new in your own body, listen to the sensations in the muscles, which are usually not paid attention to in an everyday state.
• Visit new places and get new experiences … You can ride and travel around the world, you can go to the store every time a new road, or you can do as I read in one blog on self-development: take a camera with you and take 10 pictures of unexpected places of things on the way from home to work every day, attracted attention. And then the skill to see a miracle in every blade of grass, in every pebble and crack of the wall will allow you to see the new that life throws up.
• Practice meditation, which means paying attention to your internal states, catching the bodily response and mental movements, perceiving the nuances, shades, semitones of what is happening to you at this moment.
• Practice enduring boredom and doing nothing … This means - in a state of expectation, not to frantically grab the phone in search of new garbage information, but to endure an inactive pause without filling it with external stimuli. I guarantee: this experience will very, very much expand the sensitivity to external stimuli, make you pay attention to the world around you and reflect on the momentary and eternal. Try it.

But, of course, all these methods need to be practiced. Good luck will not come by itself - only to those who are trained to see and hear it, who will grab the opportunity by the tail when it flashes by. That is, "lucky those who are lucky themselves."