How To Become An Adult, Independent And Free?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

“The basis of all sins is laziness, and the basis of laziness is lack of will. In a rational being, the will depends on motivation, motivation - on the worldview. A person without a well-established worldview has an increased likelihood of becoming weak-willed."

Vladimir Vestnik

The main essence of dependence

Dependent person - dependent on other people, bound in his thoughts and actions by someone else's will, influence, unable to think and act independently, independently. Subservient, subordinate, forced, weak-willed, driven, dependent.

Dependence is a sign of laziness, selfishness and inadequacy of the soul taken together.

Types of dependence

We are dependent on our parents, partners, children, friends or colleagues. We are bound by our social roles and the responsibilities behind them. We are subject to the influence of the weather, our environment, the media. We are forced laborers of our state. We are hooked on the necessary connections in society, for our status in society, we are tightly bound by our beliefs, dreams and goals. Tied to their achievements, material well-being. They are fixated on the opinions of others, on their troubles and misfortunes. We are not free from our own body, constantly desiring something, aging and gradually losing its beauty and combat capability.

Many racial, religious, and ethnic groups hold to the perception of themselves as exceptional and superior to others. Whole societies, states were involved in bloody wars, defending lands, borders and ideologies that they considered their own and the only true ones. The human race, seizing on the sense of superiority over other forms of life, endangered its neighbors in existence on Earth - the animal world.

And then what kind of freedom and independence can we talk about? And is it possible to be independent at all?

Manifestations of lack of independence in a person

Dependence can take a variety of, at times, contradictory forms. However, unconsciousness and withdrawal from responsibility for what is happening is present in all its manifestations.

Like any other quality of character (quality of the soul), dependence is pronounced and disguised, hidden in the depths.

There are certain stereotypes of thinking, behavior and emotional response that are characteristic of a dependent person. You can also recognize him by his appearance, conversation, and a typical area of professional implementation. Many facts of fate, starting from childhood, indicate the importance of overcoming dependence (statements, dependence) in this life.

Each of us comes into this world with the already existing baggage of spiritual experiences. Already at the "entrance to life" the inferiorities appear, on which the given soul has to work. And the very conception-bearing-birth, and the environment, and the circumstances of childhood clearly show us our imperfections. Already from childhood, a dependent child will show his lack of will and dependence.

In a professional environment, a dependent person unconsciously chooses those places where it will be possible to rely on someone else's will, where it will not be necessary to make responsible decisions, where it will be possible to hide in the general mass, execute someone's decisions, and not produce goods and services himself.

Like any other quality of character (quality of the soul), dependence is pronounced and disguised, hidden in the depths. The list of its manifestations is numerous and varied. By carefully observing yourself and the world, you can discover a lot of facets. Determining our lack of independence is not so difficult as it seems, because at certain moments we lose control over ourselves and show our true colors. Or we act as we are used to, without noticing it ourselves. It is to such "little things" that you have to be extremely careful. After all, little things show the inner state of a person and his nature.

Dependence can take a variety of, at times, contradictory forms. However, unconsciousness and withdrawal from responsibility for what is happening is present in all its manifestations.

What results does lack of independence lead to in life?

Any person strives for emotional closeness and wants to preserve this closeness. This is natural and correct. Deep emotional unity with a loved one is felt as a source of reliability and security, gives the joy of mutual understanding and an impulse of inspiration. On a deep, unconscious level, a person feels his closeness with family, loved ones, friends and like-minded people. The similarity of our genetic memory, our way of life and worldview unites us in communities of close souls.

That is, attachments are inherent in everyone, but by no means every person can be called addicted. Attachment can turn into addiction, but this does not happen always and everywhere.

Dependence, dependence of one person on another, on others - this is already energy-informational bindings, a violation of human freedom. Bindings do not allow to fully develop, lead to the degradation of the soul, its slave state.

Attachment-addiction is accompanied by a feeling of strong craving for who or what is attached to, akin to drugs or alcohol. Plus the absolute powerlessness of a person and a lack of self-control. Through energy-informational binding, a skillful manipulator parasitizing on the tied one can cause negative emotions and states in that person, the origin of which will be difficult to understand and control. The characteristic states of pathological attachment are clinging, craving, grasping, clinging, holding, and insatiable wanting.

Energy-informational bindings, once formed, tend to worsen, progress in this life and persist for several incarnations in a row. For example, if the negative emotions that arose during communication were strong, souls again and again attract each other in each new life, until they free themselves from their attachments and bring their relationship to the level of warm, friendly intimacy. Many family, friendships and other close relationships are based on attachments and are karmic. There is still so much dependence, total control and manipulation in them!

Affection - part of our life, and serious addiction is already a threat. When we lose control of our attachments, we become addicted.

• If, as parents, we constantly interfere in the affairs of our child, control him, manipulate him at will, or demand from him sycophancy and submission.
• If we want something or someone all the time, and when we receive it, it loses its attractiveness for us. And if this process is repeated over and over again.
• If we hold onto our body, relationships, roles, activities, money, real estate, image for fear of losing them.
• If, trying to satisfy our sincere desire to be loved and accepted, we become attached to people, to animals, to status in society and at work.
• If we are trying to create a sense of security and meaning in life, fixing ourselves in certain views and beliefs.
• If the fear of death and our unwillingness to recognize it as a natural outcome of earthly experience and the beginning of the next experience induce us to insatiably acquire and consume.

This means that we have already crossed the border of the norm and fell into dependence, from where it will be very difficult to return back to natural attachment.

Most of our addictions begin with small, but already inharmonious communication and, consequently, energy exchange

• Resentment. A person, offended by someone as if attached, again and again returns mentally to the offender, generously giving him his life potential.
• Desire to prove oneself right. The same offense: a person cannot forget and let go of the other, because he constantly replays a plan of retribution in his head, imagines what he will say, what kind of face he will then have, etc. etc. And the potential, meanwhile, flows over to the offender.
• Guilt. A person directs aggression at himself and deprives himself of the right to make a mistake. At the same time, he does not correct what he has done, but only engages in self-flagellation. Feeling his guilt before another, he often thinks about how to beg forgiveness and what can be done to make amends. The result is a strong bond with the other.
• Pity for a person, a desire to help him, to save him. A person can feed an energy parasite (relative, friend, partner, neighbor, etc.) for many years, believing that he is doing a good deed. And he will be happy to use it.
• Unpaid debt. Binds two people for a long time, while the larger the amount, the stronger the bond. Robbery, theft, fraud - all these also form bonds between the perpetrator and the victim.
• A sense of obligation to pay back for the service rendered. “Now I am in your debt,” one person says to another, thereby creating a powerful bond. Here, too, there is a sense of duty, but not material duty.
• Habit, duty, attachment to children, to joint property. People can live together, but in fact they are already strangers, they have long passed this stage of life, but they cannot move on in any way, they stand still, because they bind each other with past memories, grievances, obligations. Or one of the partners has already outgrown this relationship, he would have to go forward, but the other does not allow him to develop, delays, clinging like the last straw.
• The need to possess another person, addiction, passion, jealousy, etc. A person again and again thinks about the object of his desire, dreams of it, passionately desiring to get it. He becomes like a child who is not given a favorite toy. Demands her and sees nothing else around.
• Parental anchors. Parents strive to completely control their child, stifle his development with their attention and care. This is dependence and a desire to subjugate another person.
• Non-reciprocal "love" (unfulfilled desire for possession). It wears out both the one who loves and the one whom they love. New relationships do not work out, tk. all his energy goes to the object of desire.
• Hiding and repressing your true feelings for another person. A person, feeling love for another, hides it, fearing to seem ridiculous or to be rejected. But at the same time he thinks about the object of love constantly, desires it, conducts mental dialogues with him.

As the attachment intensifies, addicts become more and more attached to the object of their addiction, begin to compulsively reach for it, and increasingly tend to self-destructive behavior. Addiction is a fertile ground for parasitism to emerge.

Vampirism is a conventional name for a parasitic mode of existence, in which one creature lives at the expense of the life forces of another. Already at the level of animals, microorganisms, there are many different types of insects that lay eggs in the body of other living beings, blood-sucking (mosquitoes, ticks, bugs, leeches) and similar parasites living at the expense of others. In the human experience of evolution, the parasitic inclination of the soul, of course, also manifests itself initially.

• A person considers it quite natural for himself to live at someone else's expense. He constantly wants to lean against someone, to fall down, to find a protector, a friend, a society, a loved one. But his main goal, often not realized, is the creation of a breeding environment around him, which will give him the missing resources.
• Experiencing a constant hunger for information, feels the need to constantly talk to someone, listen to the radio, watch TV, read voraciously, if only the head is busy. So a person feeds on the thoughts, ideas of other people and feels temporarily saturated.
• He tries to appear courteous and friendly, imitates kindness and responsiveness, again, to create a breeding ground for himself ("an affectionate calf sucks seven queens").
• Chatting so that his incessant "verbal diarrhea" takes the interlocutor out or creates a state of emptiness. This is how the withdrawal of a resource from another soul manifests itself, which humbly agreed to listen to the speech flow of the parasite.
• Requires constant confirmation of self-love from others, provokes them to emotional outbursts of love or other various feelings (including hatred, fear, jealousy). This is how the parasite is fed through constant irritation of the senses.
• Seeks to collect from everyone around him a portion of admiration for himself or his achievements (including a child, a house, a car, etc.).
• Causes conflicts, squabbles, scandals, fights, even just by its presence. Saturated with the energy of anger, hatred, and he himself can be in the role of an observer, quietly enjoying everything that happens.
• It feeds on the energies of someone else's pain, suffering (sadist). The masochist receives a "dose" through his own pain. There are those who eat themselves (pity or, conversely, self-hatred).
• Exhausts the partner during intercourse, creating an unequal exchange: satisfaction and a feeling of satiety for him, and for the other - emptiness, disappointment, anxiety, loss of strength and general weakness, up to diseases in the sexual sphere.
• It feeds on sexual energies, but without physical intimacy: it creates an aura of attractiveness around itself, charms others, attracts many people of the opposite sex, evokes and maintains sexual desire in them, but does not bring the relationship to sexual intercourse, to relaxation.
• He is inclined to demonstrative suicidal attempts, the purpose of which is to attract attention to himself in cases where other possibilities have already been exhausted. He contrives to calculate the time and place of action so that they can save him, and as a result receives the desired "dose" of pity, care, attention and participation.
• He seeks to crush, crush under himself, bend, subjugate and revel in power, while feeding on the energy of will.

Vampirism creates a whole food chain in relationships. A person exhausted by a domestic vampire goes to friends or colleagues to "recharge". And those, in turn, are looking for recharge from someone else L. A person is no longer able to exist without outside nourishment, he is constantly looking for new sources of energy nourishment, and his spiritual decline is inevitably aggravated. A vampire can never get enough, he needs more and more varied. A vampire, deprived of energy supply from the outside, can either quietly decay or commit suicide.

The parasitic soul is invisibly connected with the communities of other vampiric souls and serves the same food for the low dark egregors.

In the next incarnations, the bindings will attract souls to each other, their fates will be connected again, but they can change roles. And so on until someone alone finds the strength to get out of the power of addiction.

Since any unchangeable, uncontrollable inferiority leads to the degradation of the soul, signs of this process will be observed in a person's life. And, the most important and noticeable of them - a decrease in the level of well-being, success towards the end of life and the early appearance of "senile diseases" (marasmus, impairment of hearing, memory, vision, weak and painful mobility of joints, drying out, exhaustion of the body, etc.). Imbalance, disharmony in many aspects of life will be manifested in everything: in food, in the daily routine, in entertainment, in clothes, in the house, in emotions, instincts, in general, in relations with people.

Reasons for lack of independence

The main reason for lack of independence is laziness (physical, intellectual, spiritual). Why do something yourself, if you can attach yourself, stick to someone and live and live pleasure in an owl? Why rack your brains over conclusions, look for some Truth, if they give you a ready-made, well-combed and easy-to-use one? Why think at all, if there are a lot of those who invent for you? And if you really need to decide something, there is a sensitive organ - the heart, it will judge what should be done and what should not be done. Trust your heart is the best slogan of parasites looking for nourishment.

Our common inclination to obedience also has a naturally expedient reason - the instinct for reporting, which provides living beings with unification in any society and survival in it. The desire to obey the leader, to follow him, to follow the standards of thinking and behavior accepted in the environment is a manifestation of the same herd instinct. And this is correct if the norms correspond to the Truth, and the leader is a harmonious example for imitation and teaching others the best stereotypes of thinking, behavior and reaction. Unfortunately, the opposite happens more often: the rules in society are established in the interests of the ruling elite, and the elite itself is far from perfect. However, little reasonable and blindly believing people obey them, subconsciously fearing to be among the rejected by the herd.

In numerous observations of collectives of people, one can see the same hierarchy as in the animal herd: there is necessarily a leader, performers - "slaves", one or two people behaving independently and trying to oppose the leader, and, oddly enough, a certain "jester”, Whose presence entertains others, or gives them the opportunity to make him a“scapegoat”.

Instincts are the fundamental basis of our existence, they can be weakened by accepted morality, law, self-control, but it is unrealistic to completely destroy them. And it is not advisable.

The role of instincts gradually decreases with evolution. The rationality that came to replace it - as a sign of the human form of existence - on the scale of evolution is today at the initial stage of its development. Therefore, we observe such a variety of manifestations of the herd instinct in humans. But, alas, the herd human society itself is not interested in any advancement of a person towards greater rationality, since this will lead to the emergence of a more developed and strong being who will immediately declare its rights. Dark forces play on instinct, unconsciousness and selfish desires of a person - the desire to get everything at once, the feeling of self-importance, the unwillingness to curb one's negativity, the unwillingness to think and be aware of reality. And, as a result, they subjugate a person to themselves, use them in their parasitic interests. However, everything corresponds to everything: whoever does not want to use the freedom of choice given to him from Above, gives this right to others, but at the same time loses freedom itself.

In general, immature, young, or lazy souls, or those who are already at the mercy of addictions, are more prone to pathologically dependent (parasitic) behavior.

It is rationality that distinguishes us from the animal world, therefore, the less reason a person has, the more his instinct is protruding. Hence, the statement becomes pathological, uncontrollable, leading a lazy, immature soul under the banner of all sorts of parties, religions, sects and the like. And vice versa, the intellect prevailing in a person and rationality growing along with it contribute to a greater understanding of the processes taking place in society, a decrease in obedience, admiration for parasites that occupy a leading position in society.

How to become self-reliant

To be weak, dependent is evil! The weak prefer to live off the strong. If a person can be strong, but pretends to be weak, allows himself to be weak, all the more, cultivates weakness in himself, accustom himself to the way of life of the weak - this is a wrong life, this is dishonest and not promising for the soul. Therefore, it ends sadly L.

Of course, there are no completely independent people on Earth. At the very least, we depend on our own body, on natural phenomena, on the rising and setting of the sun, on lunar eclipses. Yes, and the dependence of people on communication with each other is absurd to deny! We live and survive in unity with our own kind, we learn, we improve our relationships, and the main task of development is to learn to live in harmonious interdependence.

A healthy alternative to addiction is building honest, equal relationships based on unity and emotional closeness of souls. It is a relationship created consciously, independently and freely. In such a pair, people develop in all spheres of life and help each other in this. Here the interests of both parties are taken into account, and freedom is respected. Sincerity and trust provide protection for the vulnerability and vulnerability of both. And warmth, loving care and friendly support are more important than passions and emotions. In such a relationship, it is easy, joyful and interesting for both to live. Start building that relationship today!

• Honestly, objectively look at your own attachments and dependencies. And acknowledge them.
• Realize how your addiction was created and how, through whom, it was fed.
• Realize and accept the essence of the lessons given to you by the fate of the lessons on liberation from addiction, on the ability to be free and to manage your choice, on giving others this right.
• With an effort of will, deliberately abandon habitual forms of addictive behavior and energizing at the expense of others.
• Try to make decisions, take some actions, without waiting for advice or support, as if no one was around.
• Make a list of things you can do yourself, but in the meantime, other people are doing it for you. And start gradually doing this work yourself.
• Make sure not to redirect your problems to other people, stop pouring your troubles on them. Take responsibility and start making decisions for yourself.
• Look at the people around you: perhaps a person who is interested in you in something relaxes with his excessive care or concern and makes you an object for his manipulations. Reorganize the format of such relationships immediately.
• Observe yourself, look for other manifestations of dependent, dependent thinking, behavior and reactions. And consciously, purposefully create and consolidate new, correct forms of relationships, without attachments and parasitism.
• Accept yourself as a soul in an endless evolutionary development. Realize at last that you are a part of something Greater, One, Whole. And try to rely more on this Higher in yourself.

Understanding the infinity of our being and ourselves as souls is the key to freedom from painful attachments! Do not be afraid to lose our bodies, because one day they will become decrepit and die. Do not cling to your roles in the family and at work, because we will be in them more than once. There is no need to try to hold onto your property, because it is needed only for a short time. It is not necessary to own your children, because they are given to us only for a while. When entering into a marriage relationship, one must remember that they, in the end, end with the death of one of the people, or even earlier. It is important to learn the lesson well: we occupy our corner in this world temporarily. And this time has been given to us for truly valuable - the development and improvement of our soul.

Illustrations: Maria Tiurina, NeonMob Artists