2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Psychologist, Clinical Psychologist CBT
All of the above patterns of immature psychological behavior are taken from the experiences of clients who were in relationships with these people.
1. Increased impulsivity, expressed in the inability to plan his life and restrain negative affects (for example, a person commits impulsive spending under the influence of mood, and then discovers that there are 2 weeks left until the paycheck, and there is nothing to live on, starts taking loans, borrowing; the inability to get what you want, the intolerance of frustration makes such a person aggressive, he begins to shout, insult, humiliate, break something, engage in a fight, etc.). 2. Inconsistency (a person rarely completes what he has begun to the end, often hesitates in his decisions, priorities: for example, a partner decides to leave the family, but, faced with difficulties, he returns or cannot decide who he should be with, and so on repeatedly; the same the same happens with his work and other endeavors; desires, attitudes, values are subject to frequent changes). 3. Irresponsibility (a person rarely keeps his promises: he is late, negotiates and does not come, tries to borrow so as not to give back, avoids any specifics, certainty in the relationship, seeks to shift most of his responsibility to others). 4. "Sticking" to others with subsequent "parasitism" (apart from such a person feels helpless, he definitely needs someone who would take care of him, at least lend, support morally, guide). A psychologically immature partner (s) can have more than one woman / man as a source of a resource (used one, then another, etc.). For fear of abandonment and unstable self-esteem, such an individual prefers to have a “alternate airfield”.
5. Difficulties with the expression of emotions (the partner almost never apologizes, does not admit his mistakes, never reveals his true feelings, is not able to show sympathy, if only for the sake of appearance, at the same time, he requires increased attention, care and tries to take a loved one out of state of mental equilibrium). 6. Submission of your own needs to the needs of other people on whom a person is dependent, unwillingness to make even reasonable demands on them (for example, a woman who is emotionally and financially dependent on her husband, turns a blind eye to his connections with other women, constantly forgives his rude, disrespectful attitude to yourself). 7. Failure to directly ask for something or talk about your needs. For such a person, asking is associated with weakness, so he tries to get what he wants manipulatively, for example, by playing on feelings of guilt. 8. The use of mostly primitive psychological defenses (projection, denial, avoidance, devaluation).
9. Gaslighting (example: a woman announced to her partner that she was leaving him, that she had started working with a psychologist in order to restore self-esteem that had been damaged in relations with him, to which the partner, wounded by her words, said with a grin: “It is high time for you to treat your head, crazy ! Who else can tolerate you, except me? ). 10. Fear of growing up (a person seeks to get younger, to communicate more with people younger than himself, to dress in clothes that can make him look like a teenager, in women you can often see cutesy, unnatural behavior, a half-childish voice, the behavior of a girl, and not a woman, like, for example, in Scarlett O'Hara, this is often accompanied by a dislike for children, fear of starting a family, constant hovering in their fantasies).
Dear readers, thank you for your attention to my articles
I would be glad if you share your examples of the behavior of a psychologically immature person
* Reproductions: Vitaly Zhuk.
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