2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Does time heal wounds and does the pain go somewhere?
It is said that everyone's mind is programmed to avoid pain and enjoy. In every new situation, at any age and no matter what we are doing, we do not want to feel pain.
Pain is what forms psychic defenses and puts us in a sarcophagus. We are so unprepared to face pain that we do anything, whenever we want, just not to die.
What is pain and why is it needed?
Imagine cutting cucumbers and cutting your finger. The skin is injured, begins to bleed and gives a signal to stop. You drop the knife and begin to heal your finger. It's natural physiology not to make yourself worse.
Mental pain is a lot like being wounded with a cold weapon. When someone treacherously enters our life, or, having already become a part of us, leaves, we have a wound inside us, like a knife.
Integrity is broken, and not just to make us suffer.
But we are suffering
Mental pain is not a feeling designed solely to make us suffer.
Suffering is derived from how we handle pain. Pain is a reaction that can heal wounds and the worst thing you can do is run away from it.
Pain's work assumes that you are slowly regaining integrity. But if in the case of a physical injury this happens by itself, then in the case of mental pain, the integrity may not be restored at all.
What to do when it hurts?
In order not to run away from pain, you need to experience it. Experiencing pain is technically simple and difficult. Simply because it is necessary to talk about it, but it is difficult because another person is a prerequisite.
It is impossible to survive the pain on your own, this is walking in a circle and you can walk like that for years. Time does not change anything, it only dulls those feelings that have not been experienced, hiding them deep inside.
How to get over pain?
Do you know the situation when you just cried? Is it familiar to the situation when you cried to someone who would really sympathize with you, without trying to console? More often than not, in situations of intense grief and stress, other people seek to comfort the grieving person by any means possible. Do everything so that the person stops suffering.
Unfortunately, this is not an option, but an exacerbation of suffering. A grieving person begins to grieve less in public, so as not to put people and himself in this incomprehensible position, when it is impossible to help, but you need to help. All you can do this is to freeze the pain as it is. Often a grieving person withdraws into himself and cries alone.
So grief transforms into pathological grief, acute trauma into post-traumatic stress disorder, and the pain remains forever.
Sharing pain does not mean giving part of it to another person
It is impossible to get infected with pain or negative emotions if you do not rush to save a person from them. The pain becomes less if you place her in contact and give her and yourself time to worry.
For more on mental pain, see.
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