2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Until I was 32, I could not get pregnant. Diagnosed with uterine fibroids, but the treatment was not successful. Until I came to psychotherapy. For a long time I could not believe that pregnancy is my personal fear. Having seen enough of my own mother, who raised me alone all her life and turned my life into a continuous fulfillment of her will, attitudes and desires, I was just really afraid that the child would destroy my life. And that I'm really scared of not being able to cope with my mother's role. Imagine my surprise when, after a year of working with a psychotherapist, despite real health problems, I suddenly saw two cherished strips on the test!
Did you know that, on average, due to the impossibility of having children, up to 5% of married couples visit the country's clinics every year. There are probably more of them, but those who have not officially registered their relationship are not included in the statistics. At the same time, only 50% of those who applied really have significant physiological problems that explain infertility. The remaining 50% are either physically absolutely healthy and have no problems with reproductive health, or suffer from psychosomatic diseases. Uterine fibroids are one of them.
What scientists are talking about
Infertility of a psychological and psychosomatic nature is a consequence of the often unconscious (but possibly the opposite) unwillingness of a woman to become a mother. Internal resistance can not only "prohibit" a woman's body from getting pregnant, but also cause concomitant diseases that complicate the very possibility of conceiving a child.
According to numerous studies, a number of gynecological diseases (uterine fibroids, amenorrhea, endometriosis) are characteristic of women:
with significantly low self-esteem;
emotional lability;
low threshold of resistance to stress;
having difficulties in building social ties;
personal immaturity.
At the same time, 43.7% of women with some type of age identity disorder who applied to clinics with questions of reproductive health suffer from uterine fibroids. Scientists have found that gender-role identity distortions combined with a high level of stress can directly affect the development of a physical illness.
Why is this happening
As practice shows, women with disorders in the field of gynecology, to one degree or another, have alarming ideas about their own motherhood. Some are afraid that they will not be able to cope with raising a child, others that motherhood will negatively change their lives, are worried about the birth itself, etc. A program is also launched in the head that makes the installation - it is dangerous to become pregnant. And someone simply cannot conceive a baby, while someone, against the background of fears, develops quite real diseases.
So, for example, women with diagnosed endometriosis (thin endometrium) in the process of psychotherapy talk about motherhood as something alarming and conflicting. They can also talk about a rather cold, rejecting relationship with the mother. Remember about regular conflicts with her in childhood, constant condemnation from adults.
Women who are diagnosed with a mention of uterine fibroids in the process of psychotherapy talk about a strong dependence on the mother, a constant experience of anxiety in childhood. Against this background, their perception of their own motherhood is not of high value (even if the woman herself speaks of a desire to become pregnant).
How to understand if your infertility has psychological causes
Most of the time, you are in a state of anxiety and stress for one reason or another.
You feel guilty about not being able to conceive.
You don't have confidence in being a good mother for your baby.
You are afraid that you are not ready for the child at this point in time.
You had a rather difficult relationship with your mother, you experienced constant pressure, stress, rejection from your mother in childhood.
Until now, your relationship is very tense and you do not feel that you are managing it from the perspective of an adult.
You are depressed.
You have experienced intense stress in the past (the loss of a loved one, an accident, significant financial difficulties, etc.).
You are under pressure from not being able to get pregnant.
You have been diagnosed with uterine fibroids, endometriosis, amenorrhea, or other problems with the reproductive system that are of a psychosomatic nature.
What to do in this situation
In fact, an accurate diagnosis of psychological infertility can be made, its real cause can be identified only with a good specialist psychotherapist.
In each specific situation, the solution to the problem will be very individual. But if it really is in your head, it will be difficult to cope with difficulties on your own.
In the course of working with a psychotherapist, you will be able to understand the very causes of infertility, determine why you are actually afraid (or do not want, even if you think and say otherwise) to become pregnant, and, perhaps, you will be able to conceive! In any case, it is important to talk about the existing problem and seek help!
The article used research data from M. E. Blokh's dissertation. "Personal and socio-psychological characteristics of women of reproductive age with gynecological pathology at the stage of pregnancy planning"
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