2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
You want to leave a relationship that is not satisfying to you, but you cannot! Are you familiar with such torment? If so, then you are on the road to change.
I would clarify one thing here, by the relationship I mean not only the relationship between a man and a woman. It also includes relationships with parents, friends, and work. If you feel bad in these relationships, they destroy you, make you weaker and, as it seems to you, unhappy, then you are in a codependent relationship. You can be both at the pole of the codependent, and at the pole of the dependent, it doesn't matter, the result is the same - suffering.
Today I want to draw your attention to one very important factor that does not allow you to get out of a relationship if they really exhausted themselves and kill you. And be a happy person. This factor is anxiety. It is anxiety that prevails over the fear of taking a step towards freedom, both external and internal. Anxiety is the hardest thing to work with.
Let me explain why. Fear and anxiety are an adequate response to the emergence of danger. But they have differences. Fear is always a reaction to a real, well-founded threat. Anxiety is a reaction to an unobvious, subjective threat. It is more difficult to deal with it.
Yes, of course, if a woman has decided to leave an unsatisfying relationship, she may have fear generated by objective circumstances. For example, she has no money and no housing. She cannot go outside with her children. This is a reality that requires that it be considered and addressed. Therefore, the next step is to solve this problem.
But, adult children who live with their parents, periodically hating them, but cannot move out. Or relationships with parents at a distance, which destroy, increase pressure, bring to hysterics and depression, but cannot be interrupted. These relationships are based on guilt and resentment, which are based on anxiety, which does not give an opportunity to overcome this guilt. Likewise, work that does not bring satisfaction, but does not change, because on the one hand, anxiety does not give an opportunity to take risks, and on the other hand, to concentrate and enjoy the business you are doing.
Therefore, anxiety is that factor of neurosis and dependence, which is not noticed by many as the leading one in our everyday affairs and relationships. The factor that is confused with fear, repressed, rationalized, washed down and seized, is behind internal prohibitions and attitudes. Anxiety prevents us from living life to the fullest, in accordance with our abilities, our education, our energy and level of development. It is she who generates helplessness and powerlessness in the face of life. Anxiety is the scourge of our time. Anxiety is the center of neurosis.
Change begins when the problem is named. Her name is anxiety. The further path is a meeting with her face to face. Start your awareness of anxiety by asking yourself 3 questions:
- I feel anxious, she tells me about the danger: What is at risk?
- What is the source of this threat? Is it a threat from the outside or from within?
- What explains my helplessness in the face of a threat?
By systematically examining your anxiety, you will begin to better understand the root of your problems. This will bring more inner and outer freedom and life satisfaction. In case of severe anxiety, I recommend working with a specialist.
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