Loneliness In The New Year

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

When he was a volunteer, he was on duty on the emergency psychological telephone line on January 1. Not on the night of December 31st to January 1st, namely January 1st in the afternoon. Quite expectedly, that day there were several calls from people who spent the New Year alone, and who experienced a large number of negative emotions about this.

It seemed to someone that he (she) was not needed by anyone; despondency, sadness, melancholy, hopelessness prevailed among the emotions. Basically, it was about the fact that a person felt unfulfilled precisely from the point of view of social significance - if he were a rich and important person, of course, many would want to invite him to them. And so … Feeling of social unfulfillment. The absence of people who want to call to themselves - as a sign of their low social significance, firstly, and, secondly, the lack of reliable friendship and love affection.

Here we are faced with the phenomenon that at a certain age youth friendly companies begin to disintegrate. Members of this company get married, get married, and not always their "halves" support the continuation of communication in the old company. The disintegration of such a company or "falling out" of it is often especially acute on New Year's holidays.

A couple of calls were from people who recently came to live in St. Petersburg and have not yet acquired close social, friendly and loving ties. Well, it is clear that in a new situation, in a new city, it is much more difficult to establish such connections (first of all, friendly ones) than it was before - in youth and in your own city.

It happens that a person has the opportunity to "fit" into some kind of company, but he refuses it. Somehow his company does not suit him. Perhaps a person draws to himself some negative scenarios of staying in such a company, as far as they are justified - you need to understand separately.

This, in particular, may be such a scenario, which was beautifully described by Khoja Nasreddin:

They say to the camel:

- The padishah invites you to his birthday!

- Aaaa … I know … - replies the camel - again, like the last time they will force firewood to carry it to the hearth.

In childhood and early adolescence, the parents tortured someone so much with preparations for the holidays - cleaning the apartment, cooking, that the person prefers not to participate in the festive event at all, rather than somehow help in organizing it. All these hot boiled beets, from which hands are painted in an incomprehensible color, eggshells, slicing onions through tears, a lot of similar things - a person, when he remembers all this, thinks - I'll sit better at home, drink champagne, and go to bed. And in the morning comes the realization that somehow the New Year went wrong, I wanted something else. The other is just a holiday, like in childhood. Or as in youth, in the company of friends - with noise, fun.

What advice can you give to people who decide or are forced to spend the New Year alone? First, think about the benefits it provides. Perhaps you are tired for a year, chatted at work, somewhere else, and, in fact, spending the New Year alone or alone in peace and quiet is not such a bad idea. If you understand that this is your conscious choice - not to go to some noisy company (and you do not want noise, but on the contrary, you want peace and quiet) or to relatives with whom you, as always, will surely have a fight, then morning January 1 will not be painful for you. You have rested, there are still a few days of rest ahead, which you can calmly lie in bed or go somewhere where you really want to go. Not following the social stereotypes that it is imperative to have a lot of fun in the New Year. Or maybe have some fun after you have had a rest …

Or, if you suddenly realize that your unwillingness to go somewhere is due to some far-fetched reasons, and that, in fact, your negative scenario for the upcoming holiday is exaggerated and, in fact, it will not be so bad in this company.

If, however, your loneliness in the New Year seems forced to you, think, is it really so? Perhaps you, after all, can somehow dilute your loneliness? Personally, I have never celebrated the New Year in a restaurant, but do other people find something in this? Or are there, after all, some people or person whom you can invite to celebrate the New Year with them? Or "ask" for a visit?

Several times I heard from my acquaintances that they did not want any companies for the New Year, but left alone to some other city and lived for a couple of days in a hotel, walking around this city on New Year's Eve. Popular cities for Petersburgers are Helsinki, Tallinn, Riga. Yes, such a trip requires money and, especially after 2014, is not quite budgetary, but it is quite possible that you can afford it.

So, there are a lot of ways to prevent post-New Year's depression. I am sure you will choose the right one for yourself!

And by the way, write in the comments your ways! Perhaps in your experience or the experience of your friends there are such ways - how to spend the New Year itself and the first days after the New Year alone, but with pleasure. Or ways to overcome this loneliness.