2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Trust is the foundation in any relationship. Maintain trust
it is necessary constantly, because without it it is difficult to build truly close
relationship. However, in the modern world, very often close people, husbands and
wives feel an insurmountable wall between each other, which prevents them from being
end frank and fully open your feelings and emotions without worrying about
possible condemnation and neglect. Why mistrust arises and how to overcome it?
Trust is formed at an early age (up to one and a half years) and is closely related to
emotional attachment to the mother's figure. It is necessary here clearly
differentiate between functional and emotional contact with the mother. The child has
there can be an excellent relationship with mom (feeding, dressing, bathing, etc.), however
in the absence of a close emotional connection with the mother's figure deep in the soul
children experience unconscious and irreversible psychological processes, in
as a result of which they stop trusting not only mom, but also those around them.
In the process of growing up, a child is faced with different situations, in his life there are different people. As a result of certain experienced circumstances, a state of frustration can be formed, which manifests itself in the form of oppressive tension, anxiety and a feeling of hopelessness due to the fact that others did not react so well, betrayed, offended. All this significantly reduces the level of trust.
How to understand that a person has a low level of trust?
1. A person is convinced that one should not open up to people, since they completely
cannot be relied upon. It is better to always rely only on yourself.
2. The person has no close friends with whom to share sorrows and joys, and partners.
3. Anxiety is a constant companion of the personality (the soul is restless, there are phobias and
unjustified anxiety that something terrible might happen - it will break out tomorrow
a catastrophe, a war will come, a house will collapse, everything will burn down, and so on).
4. Periodic panic attacks. This is indicative of inner terror and
fear, therefore, a person cannot trust anyone.
How to learn to trust yourself, the people around you and the world more? Can
highlight a few basic recommendations, but do not expect that they
will help everyone after the first application.
1. Analyze and work through the injuries received and experienced
experiences associated with distrust and fears. Perhaps someone close to you is not
met your expectations.
2. Find and separate the root of the problem (the situation that introduced the state
frustration). Relief will be an indicator of goal achievement in this case. If there is temporary relief, and then the situation worsens, this
indicates that the origins must be sought at an earlier age.
3. Anything related to trauma of mistrust (regardless of where exactly
the person has experienced pain, fear or resentment), directly related to the family -
the situations experienced earlier were transferred and played out in another society.
4. Experience all the feelings associated with the root situation. It may take
a lot of time - someone has a year, someone has five years (questions of trust are very deep, therefore, you cannot quickly recognize the problem, experience it and learn to trust
others in a short period of time).
5. Forgive yourself for trusting people at the wrong time, didn't protect their inner child and hurt him. This is the basis in
building trust, because first of all you need to learn to trust yourself.
6. Do not be ashamed to make mistakes in people and it does not matter that someone may not justify
expectations.
Everyone has the right to make mistakes, in every person's life there is pain and
unpleasant experiences, but you do not need to lose confidence in yourself - “If they do me
it hurts, I will survive it!"
will I survive? It will be a shame, I will cry, but I will definitely cope with it!”.
Trust someone and make a mistake in your choice, be humiliated, offended and offended - it really hurts. But you should not deny yourself to live on and try to trust others, open your soul, talk about true experiences. You always need to learn from your mistakes, gain experience (albeit negative) and try something new in life. Perhaps further life will turn out completely differently.
Quite often, people are afraid of close relationships due to the fact that they do not trust
themselves, believing that they will not be able to survive the next pain. Life is impossible without
experiences, otherwise it is death. Experiences were, are and will be
always and for everyone. It might be worth trying something new in a relationship, or
"Cry" into a friend's waistcoat, use some internal resources, but not
stop and not close off from the outside world.
In such situations, a deep analysis of crises helps a lot.
happened earlier in life, when it seemed that it could not be worse. What helped to cope and get out of the crisis? What became the very internal resource that pushed you to live on? Such an analysis of the situation allows one to reasonably assess the true meaning of crises and difficult life periods - to become stronger. However, in some cases, it is impossible to cope with the trauma of trust on your own - only a course of psychotherapy will help.
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