OUR HIGHEST IS BORN BEFORE US

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Non-obvious forms of arrogance, instilled from childhood

We were taught from childhood that arrogance is bad. Arrogant people often exaggerate their size, try to be bigger and look down on others. We know what arrogance looks like and we don't want to be arrogant.

But there are hidden forms of arrogance that look dignified and beautiful. And we, too, were taught them from childhood, that's a paradox.

We were taught to sacrifice for the sake of other people. We know we must forgive other people.

These are non-obvious forms of the same arrogance, and it is very important to be aware of them.

Arrogance of the victim

Quite often, you can meet people who have devoted their entire lives to making sure their children are happy. Why are they arrogant? Because when a person gives himself up for the benefit of other people, he multiplies in size. Sometimes these sizes are so wide that other people cannot even approach them. And sometimes the children of the victims themselves cannot come up, since they no longer need the victims.

Taking care of children is a great quality for a mom. But this becomes a problem when children are deprived of the chance to take care of themselves and her.

When a parent is frantic about caring for children who are mature enough to take care of themselves, he does not appropriate his own power. The fact of his masculinity is not assigned to the son, and the fact of his femininity is not assigned to the daughter. The parent simply does not notice this, seeing in his children little helpless people.

The legal reason to take care of these parents is illness. To reduce their size and ask for care, these people have to get sick!

Forgiving pseudo humanism

This form is that people sacrifice themselves for the sake of others and forgive their actions towards them. As a rule, someone who is radically larger than someone who is forgiven can forgive. And as a rule, those who are forgiven are deprived of the chance to be responsible for their own actions.

So mom tells her son, who does not visit her as often as she would like - I forgive you. This is what a kindergarten teacher says to a guilty child. So the boss says to the subordinate, "I forgive you, but don't do this anymore."

In this paradigm, the other person who made a mistake remains a child. He was forgiven, why bear responsibility in an adult way?

Basically, people are able to take responsibility for their actions. Basic respect for other people is that they can make mistakes and take responsibility for their own lives. You don't have to get bigger and forgive them.

But the most dangerous form of arrogance is deciding that you are bigger than your life.

There is nothing wrong with the phrase “I am the master of my life”. The bad starts when you consider yourself more than life itself and think that you can manage it from beginning to end.

The most you can achieve are local goals or formed habits, but life is much less predictable than you think.

To get bigger, you need to get smaller.

Sometimes, in order to become stronger and wiser, you need to surrender to what is bigger than you. The easiest thing is to surrender, become more, less and accept yourself as anyone - in psychotherapy. In particular.