2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
For a long time I have not come across materials about addicted relationships. And then a miracle - the film "Who do I want more", filmed in Italy and Switzerland in 2010.
From the name itself it becomes clear that the theme of the film is passion, more precisely, the desire to want and possess, rather than to be, to create, to love.
In short, this film is a wonderful and visual example of how a love addiction is formed, develops and ends. Further in the text "love" = "emotional".
Anna, the main character, lives with Alessio, with whom she equips her life and thinks about conceiving a child.
The plot begins when Anna discovers her attraction to Dominic, a young man she just met. Passionate kisses, hugs, an uncontrollable desire to have sex here and now are the circumstances that marked the beginning of the formation of this love triangle.
Throughout the film, you can track how the main characters experience emotional outbursts due to their dependent state - from a sharp "craving" for each other and euphoria associated with this, to despair and nervousness from the inability to get the desired "doping" - access to the body.
In order to make the meetings more frequent, the heroes are forced to deceive their partners. At the same time, the situation in the family of Dominic is complicated by the fact that he has children, his wife suspects of treason, and the work does not bring proper earnings.
For a while, he had to forget about Anna and family relations stabilized.
But all the same, having tasted the forbidden fruit once, it is hard not to succumb to the temptation to taste it again. Dominic arrives at Anna's place of work and waits for her to appear on the street. When Anna goes out, accompanied by an employee, he literally runs up and says that he needs to explain that he cannot live without her. In anger, Anna declares that everything that happened between them was just good sex, to which Dominic responds rudely, and then adds that he loves her.
This episode reveals an important component of the addicted relationship - the variability of mood, which can only be good when the addict is simultaneously good and bad when both of them feel bad. In the course of the film, such situations with a change in the mood of the characters occur frequently.
Finally, Anna and Dominic set off on a journey where they have the opportunity to enjoy being with each other. Anna talks about her fear and guilt towards Dominic's family. In turn, Dominic is also scared, but he wants to stay with the children and with Anna, as with his mistress. A rather striking manifestation on the part of Anna is her reproach towards Dominic, regarding the fact that he could not solve their "suspended" situation during this time. Here one sees the desire to rule over the other and control his behavior, and if it is impossible, to impute to him that he cannot solve the problem for the two of them.
The film ends with a completely logical departure of Anna and her difficult experiences associated with this break.
It is healthy to form attachment and interdependence between people. However, in the case of an unformed childhood attachment to a significant Other (mother), it is not so easy to create such a relationship in adulthood.
The film demonstrates a common variant of emotional dependence - a love triangle, when partners from two families unite and form a third "family", or rather, a union based solely on the sexual component. However, this is not the only version of the dependent relationship. Often in families where there are no cheaters and cheaters, behavioral patterns are observed that correspond to dependent states:
- "I feel bad, I need to make sure that the other next to me feel bad";
- "I feel bad, someone else automatically becomes bad out of respect for me";
- "I feel good only when the other is good; if he himself is not able to influence his mood, then I will do this and still bring this unfortunate man to good";
- "I am guilty, you are offended; I offended, you are guilty";
- "it is scary to be a Personality, it is better to remain the subpersonality of another - such comfortable slippers that you leave anywhere when you decide to put on shoes, are under your feet";
- "I've been shouting to you for an hour that I love, I won't even give money for self-development, so that you know that I love you and want to be with you together and always"
- "your problems are my problems, and my problems are your problems. And just try not to solve my problems!"….
Unambiguously, the emotions and feelings experienced between people who are in strong dependence on each other are extremely tense and very vulnerable. Therefore, the way out of the addiction situation is a difficult path, which, however, is quite real and feasible if the person wishes.
Enjoy watching the movie and the necessary conclusions!
Recommended:
Emotional Addiction - Your Partner "martyr", "victim"
It may seem inconceivable to an ordinary, non-psychological person that people of this type have something to do with codependency, lack of freedom, violation of personal boundaries and denial of responsibility. It's hard to believe that with these wonderful, sympathetic, caring, so comfortable and at times - such touchingly unhappy people, there could be something wrong
Addiction, Co-addiction
"Nothing binds us like human vices." O. de Balzac A family with an alcoholic and children has a certain bouquet of roles with which everyone in the family lives and functions. Role - alcohol addicted. Subconsciously seeks to escape from reality, trying to artificially change his mental state, in order to live in the illusion of security and balance.
Gambling Addiction. What Is The Danger And How To Get Rid Of Gambling Addiction?
There are many opinions regarding gambling addiction, gambling addiction - some say that games improve reaction, increase the speed of decision-making, improve communication skills in the case of online games, develop logic, teach long-term planning (depending on the genre) and patience in achieving goals;
Technique For Working With Addiction. As Part Of Long-term Addiction Therapy
The technique is based on the "Elimination of Codependency" technique by Marilyn Atkinson. I will demonstrate the practice with a specific, but conditional example. 1. DEFINITION OF "OTHER". Think of someone or something that you think you are addicted to (or what).
It's The Sweet Word For Addiction. Addiction On The Example Of One Life
She was born on December twenty-first. She remembered that for sure. There were inaccuracies with the year, but these years, they run somehow too fast - there is no point in memorizing. My father was a communist. Stern face, eternal suit, dark car.
