2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
We go to psychotherapy to learn something new about ourselves. Even if it seems that we just want to resolve some symptoms, as a result, psychotherapy is a meeting with oneself. In the process of psychotherapy, we encounter many phenomena that were not known to exist before. We are beginning to recognize the word vitality. We will find out what frustration is and how to deal with it. We begin to try to experience our life differently from the way we did it before the meeting with psychotherapy.
This is a new experience, obtained, albeit in "laboratory" conditions, but one that changes life.
How does he change life?
When we learn new things - new reactions, new feelings, reactions of other people - this does not mean that we are changing. There are many insights about our life - we notice a lot of things, realize and understand about ourselves, but life does not change at the same time. At least not as fast as we would like. Why is this happening?
We change at the level of processes that occur after new experiences.
A lot depends on whether impressions become new experiences. Will they become a part of ourselves.
Not every new experience lasts a lifetime. Something new does not always become a part of us. This is because at the time of new impressions we already know something about ourselves. And this is something we may not even like, but we hold on to it.
Because how to live with the new - there is no information
The new impression must somehow be absorbed. This is assimilation.
We are changing at the level of assimilation.
This is not always a long process. It can be very fast. Some assimilation processes can last minutes and hours. But sometimes this process takes years.
What does it depend on?
The more new information contradicts our ideas about ourselves, the longer the assimilation process can be. The more difficult it is for us to accept this new thing that has entered our life, the more time it will take to accept this new and become a part of us.
It's out of control.
We cannot influence whether we will assimilate new experiences slowly or quickly. This is the only part of the therapy session that does not lend itself to direct control. Moreover, the intervention of the will, on the contrary, slows down this process.
How to be?
Just allow the feelings that arise in response to new impressions to be.
Don't chase insights, assimilation, and rapid change. Allow the process to take place at your own pace and do not control it. For some time, you will be surprised how much new has become a part of you and how successfully the new experience has assimilated and changed your life.
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