2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
“If at least something in my life is not the way I would like, I cannot rejoice at anything else. And since it's almost never perfect, I can't feel happy at all."
My client Marianna is 33 years old (name has been changed, permission to publish has been obtained). She recalls that she seems to have been like this since childhood, but lately there have been a lot of worries in her life, and this feature has begun to manifest itself especially strongly.
“If something is imperfect, then you can’t be happy about anything,” - this is how the girl herself defines her attitude.
I ask where this attitude lives in the body and what it looks like. Marianne says that these are huge scissors that live in her head. I ask the girl to mentally stand in the place of the scissors. Marianne says that they are very angry and want to stick in her throat to punish her for being imperfect. I ask how old is the Marianne who the scissors want to punish. “Seven,” the girl answers confidently.
This is how they look in her drawing.
Then I ask Marianna to mentally place next to the scissors one by one all the significant adults who were next to her at this age: mom, dad, grandmother. I ask how they interact with the scissors. The girl replies that the parents do not interact in any way, and the grandmother takes the scissors in her hands and begins to click them in front of her throat.
Marianna recalls that on the morning of September 1, when she had to go to school for the first time, her grandmother saw threads sticking out of the collar of her school uniform and began to cut them right on the girl with large tailor's scissors.
The girl had long dreamed of school and danced on the spot out of anticipation and sang something, and then her grandmother said in her hearts: “How can you be happy if threads are sticking out of your collar? A girl should always be perfect! And don't turn around if you don't want me to pierce your throat with scissors!"
Then we say the projections of the grandmother in the unconscious of Marianna on behalf of her Inner parent: “Grandma, I return your attitude to you and allow you to enjoy life too, even if you are imperfect. The girl says that the grandmother takes off her formal suit, puts on a T-shirt and shorts, loosens her hair and starts dancing merrily to the Combination group.
Then I ask what the scissors look like now (meaningful for Marianna's grandmother's installation). The girl replies that they turned into beautiful butterflies and took the place of the scissors in her head.
It is noticeable that butterflies are drawn much less carefully and neatly than scissors, and do not tend to look "perfect".
Marianne said that she was experiencing a surge of joyful energy and she wanted to laugh and dance. Her cheeks turned pink, her eyes shine.
The girl feels that she can now rejoice, even if she herself or something in her life is imperfect. Then we continued to work with other negative feelings and attitudes of Marianne.
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