Ties Are Not Cut With Scissors. Psychotherapist Notes

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Author: Elena Guskova Source:

Sometimes it happened that with the beginning of psychotherapeutic work, my interlocutors said that with another psychologist they “had already done all this: they cut ties with scissors - nothing changed, imagined images, changed their color, shape, burned, then no changes.

I had to explain that now we will do everything differently. And, of course, without any violence over internal images. No cutting, burning, blasting, no destruction whatsoever. Instead - a smooth transformation, taking into account all the rules.

My article will be useful to those who are engaged in image therapy, integral neuroprogramming, etc. Since all of these therapies work with manifestations of the unconscious, it is extremely important to understand how to make any transformations environmentally friendly and with maximum benefit for the person.

The basic rule that should be adhered to: any image from the unconscious that arises in a person did not appear for a reason. In epic terms, the whole life of a person led him to the fact that here and now at this moment he pulled out this image, examined it and made conclusions. Perhaps this image is a small brick, perhaps a large cornerstone of a large "building of life" from the unconscious (a brick or something larger - understanding comes with experience), but you should carefully look at it, and only then decide what to do with it how to transform it.

If we approach the classification of images with which one can say goodbye without regret at once or in no case (and it is impossible) to say goodbye right away, then all the images that arise can be divided into inclusions and parts.

Inclusions are "formations" in our unconscious, which were introduced there, settled there and do not bring any benefit.

Parts (independent units of consciousness / mini-consciousness / modules of consciousness / subpersonality / whatever they call them) are “formations” in the unconscious that have a positive function.

An example of inclusions is beliefs, parental prescriptions.

For example, the belief "I am 30 years old, I will never meet my man, because I am already very old" is a belief that can be visualized and pulled out of oneself: "this is some kind of gray spot that sits in my head." This stain can be closely examined and find out if this persuasion stain brings any benefit to the person. Most probably not. And this very spot can either be pushed out of the bounds of your psychogeography, or transformed (through the "box of transformation of beliefs") into something more pleasant, for example, "I am 30 years old, and this is a wonderful age, just the time to meet my man." … These are the types of spots, balloons, clouds, etc. you can change color, add resources easily and calmly. They will transform easily, because they are pure, unconnected energy that can be transformed at will.

After such a transformation / departure of a belief, I always ask many times: “Are you sure that you can part with this belief, change it? This is true? This conviction does not want to return to you / Are you sure you do not want to return it? Such a clear clarification of a person's feelings allows both the client and the therapist to be convinced that the topic with this belief is closed. And this is very important to know! Because if the images categorically do not want to be transformed, they come back, the person does not want to part with something, then this image has a positive function, and until you define this function and get it somewhere else, you can not try with the image part / transform. So see how to work with parts.

As I wrote above, parts are internal images, internal energy that has a positive function, even if it also has a negative one.

For example, a person wants to part with irritability. Visualizing irritability. Let's say it's a ball blazing with fire. For the sake of experiment, let's try to start moving this ball away from the person. The person will feel intense discomfort and inner rebellion. The question to him: "What is the positive function of irritability?" The answer, for example, would be "protection against stress associated with such and such a person." Then we will move on to work on the relationship with this person. And while we leave irritability aside, we will return to it. It is quite possible that after all the work (and the chain can unfold a long one!), The irritability will disappear by itself, since it will no longer be necessary. It will never be possible to simply remove irritability from oneself until it frees itself from the positive function that it carries.

An example with "larger parts" - subpersonalities and identities. We will find out who is responsible for shame in a person (note for those who practice INP, if, when answering the question of where in your body, you think, your shame sits, a person says that shame is everywhere, then you can safely ask to move away a person from the place where he stands / sits, so that the one who will answer for the shame remains there. There will not be a part or sub-part, there will be a subpersonality or identity). This is the image of a bent over unhappy woman. We work with the image so that the woman's shoulders straighten, she shines. There is a lot of technology. We will never be able to send a woman somewhere outside our psychogeography. Unconsciously, people send parts to what we call “shadows,” but they still stick out of there and remind of themselves, and the best thing you can do for yourself is to bring out all your painful parts and start working with them.

If the part that is pulled out into the light has a creepy, downright nightmarish look (snakes, demons, people with frightening looks), we do at least three things (three points from Kovalev's six): we say that we accept it (part), we thank for the positive function (having clarified it), we bow (reconciliation, acceptance, gratitude - all at once). And then we already observe - there is a high probability of a change in the appearance of the part, and you can work with it. If we do not change anything, then we are doing other things, but this is already for the professionals of integral neuroprogramming. No guns, exploding, destroying parts. It will not work, this time. The fight will further strengthen the part, that's two.

Next, with regard to cutting the ties with scissors.

Very often, people who break up feel an invisible connection with the one with whom they broke up. This is extremely disruptive in life. It is especially difficult to meet a woman / man if there is a connection with the previous one.

It is useless to visually cut the ties with scissors, as the ties will be restored. The connection should disappear by itself (and the person will immediately feel it). And it will disappear when the balance is restored between the two people. No one will need anything from each other. There will be no dependencies, there will be no offenses. Clean, as glass, in front of each other, and you can disperse, each in his own way. You just need to work on it.

I would like to give another example of the importance of correctly visualizing an image and working with it.

At the meeting, we worked with a girl whose mother took on a special tourniquet that the girl used when she, according to her mother, was wrong. When we get to this tourniquet, the girl says that she had already given this tourniquet to her mother with the words: "You will never beat me again." I ask how she saw this tourniquet. The answer was: "I remembered what this tourniquet looked like, took it mentally from the kitchen chair where it hung, and gave it to my mother." I ask the girl to "see" where this tourniquet is now. To her surprise, the tourniquet continues over her, essentially hovering over her in shock. There is a realization that it is precisely because of this tourniquet that her shoulders are pressed in, tension in her body. When we take this particular tourniquet hanging over her and give it to mom, the shoulders are straightened, it becomes easier to breathe. This is the power of accurate rendering. In the previous version, the tourniquet removed from the chair did not give such an effect (which is understandable, the tourniquet on the chair is not terrible, it hangs over the back, and that is how it is "registered" in the unconscious).