Love Drama Of A Narcissist And A Schizoid. Psychological Essay. Part 2

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Video: Love Drama Of A Narcissist And A Schizoid. Psychological Essay. Part 2

Video: Love Drama Of A Narcissist And A Schizoid. Psychological Essay. Part 2
Video: Schizoid In Relationship Part 2-An Ongoing Conversation w/Dr. Elinor Greenberg 2024, May
Love Drama Of A Narcissist And A Schizoid. Psychological Essay. Part 2
Love Drama Of A Narcissist And A Schizoid. Psychological Essay. Part 2
Anonim

Love drama. Scene two. "Schizoid. The ups and downs of relationships. Love turns."

External exemplary illustration

I must say that our beautiful narcissist (which was discussed in the previous story) simply did not know what an unforgettable but hard-feeling binding he got into with his chosen one. He is used to calculating everything, writing it out under a clear program scheme, an iron mathematical algorithm. And what? It was not so! The chosen one did not give in to calculations. The program was crashing. The confused narcissist was stunned - he was confused, lost in forecasts … His wife turned out to be unusually unpredictable, unintelligible, specific, and therefore more and more exciting, mysterious, interesting. He succumbed to the incomprehensible course of love interactions and was ready to explore it further. He was intrigued and carried away. But then the incredible happened: after a short marriage time, the discouraged narcissist was unexpectedly rejected. So much for the benefits of the provisions! … What is there … Electric lightning! Shock! … But it all started so well, even better than one could imagine - more interesting in any case - for sure … The feeling of confusion in front of a woman, whom he could not figure out, will remain inside forever. Questions: "Why, why, for what?" - will permeate him forever. How so? After all, he is amazing, flawless!

Internal cut

Hero

By creating intimate relationships, narcissists tend to benefit, exploit, subjugate. That is why they resort to manipulations: first, they conquer a woman, put them on a pedestal, and then they switch, move away, pursuing a subordinating interest. For a woman, it looks like this: at first she is the Queen, and he is an impeccable Knight, but later, when she is tied to death by her beloved, she (for various reasons) falls into disgrace with him, where two greatest in terms of influence of feelings are exalted, subordinating the dependent to someone else's will: feeling of guilt and duty to the owner. This is how the manipulator controls his slave.

Heroine

The manipulator's miscalculation lies in the fact that the schizoid does not belong to anyone by his personality. He is autistic, accumulated inside, deeply deep - it is impossible to take possession. Go catch this bird? If he doesn’t want to - you will never be able to! Moreover: the schizoid (almost like in the air) needs a tangible distance - he is afraid of strong closeness more than rejection. This is why the calculations of narcissistic programmers will not work in his dimension. There are no mathematical connections, there are other, ephemeral meanings. However, the schizoid knows how to love and often more than many. It will burn with a touch so that you will never forget. And yet there is a snag in his affection - the need for the distance necessary for the schizoid, like air. He will provide distance in relationships with his characteristic mechanism of ambivalence. The schizoid either deifies the chosen one, placing him on a sacred, heavenly height (this is sincere, he loves so much), then throws him into the abyss of alienation (due to the divergence of the highest dream with reality). This is how the mechanism of his safety works, at the moment of distance the schizoid has the opportunity to gain distance. And this is not manipulation: the schizoid does this without seeking any benefits - he is scared to death of absorption and departs. But a deep feeling brings him back: hence the crazy turns, roller coasters, ups and downs - duality. The schizoid's love and disappointments are very sincere, deep. This ambivalence permeates the nature of the schizoid. And this is his incomprehensible secret: the schizoid is multifaceted, elusive.

Epilogue

Let's suppose, what did our possibly impossible, recognizable heroes part with? The deep soul of the heroine "saw through" the narcissist's game (after all, love was never there) and let the deceiver go: they don't pretend to be in her universe - they love it very much. Yes, she believed the seducer, succumbing to temptation and charisma, but she was disappointed and "knocked out". And therefore it "flew away". And a handsome liar, crushed by a heavy loss, will “smell” even more of an already cold heart, finally turning into a rational, computer “machine”: a magic bird, uncaught by him, breaking his ideas and leaving no understandable algorithms for him, will change him forever …

And now about the meanings of the essay. I promised to show the reader an inner picture of the narcissist and the schizoid and reveal the dynamics of their predictable relationship. It seems to me that I have coped with the task set at the beginning. How can this information be useful to you? Examples like these push us to sensitively comprehend difficult relationships of intimacy. Learning to hear both ourselves and others, we learn awareness and act constructively, building bridges rather than fortresses. After all, life, as the greatest value, is undoubtedly worth it

/ The author of this publication is a professional psychologist Alena Viktorovna Blishchenko. /

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