2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Almost every parent can remember their after-work evening process about the lessons done and the folded portfolio of your child …
Remember yourself, mentally return to your childhood, to your school, to your homework … Did you do everything at the right time, when you were not controlled by your parents?
I think everyone will find something to remember, you received invaluable life experience …
When you too obsessively and actively help your child do homework, collect a portfolio, prepare for school, controlling all processes, you do not give him the opportunity to try to be independent, to take responsibility for the work done or not done, for the lessons done or not done, for collected or not collected portfolio.
In order for the kid to learn to be independent and responsible, he needs to gain experience. The experience is different, not only positive, but also negative. For example, forgetting something or not completing homework can give a child a negative experience in the form of a bad grade or comment from the teacher. Perhaps he will need to face this experience more than once in order to begin to take responsibility for his actions.
Now, in no case do I urge you not to help the child at all. Rather, I offer different options for support in gaining experience and taking responsibility.
For example, it is very important not to tell the child: "Let's open the portfolio - I will check it!", "You can't do anything without me at all - neither do the lessons normally, nor fold the portfolio!". Such statements are traumatic and do not give an opportunity to develop and rely on their own personality, the child may feel worthless and insignificant, unable to do anything at all without an adult.
By trying to control everything, the parent maintains the child's irresponsibility.
Try to offer your help: "If you need help with the lessons, you can contact me.", "If you need support, I am ready to support you", "How can I support you?" This will stimulate you to do something yourself and not be afraid to make mistakes while gaining experience. Such phrases will sound very supportive, there will be an understanding that he is not left alone with his difficulty, that the parent is there and can help him.
Try to give him freedom. Freedom in choice, freedom in manifestations, freedom not to do lessons, not to collect a portfolio.
The more you control him, the more difficult he gets his own life experience.
Of course, this does not apply to situations that may pose a danger to life and health.
Be just support and support for him. Stop controlling - take care of your own life!
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