2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Children often surprise me with their insight and ability to feel the subtlest changes in mood. They absorb the world like a sponge, learning about it through the people around them, close ones in the first place. Children are a reflection of parents, a translation of their inner state and attitude. Therefore, a complete bewilderment phrase from the series "I do not understand in whom he is so rude!" usually gives me an inner smile
Once a good friend of mine was awarded a bonus in the form of a colleague's four-year-old son: the couple went to rest in a nightclub, and the kind employee was asked to look after the baby. They brought with them everything they might need: from their favorite toys and a dozen options for change of clothes to several batches of snacks. The boy immediately felt at home: his little familiar aunts did not particularly bother him. He confidently glanced over the shelves with ceramic coffee cups from different countries, tapped on the glass table. Then he picked up a mobile friend of his friend and started banging on the wall. The answer to the mild remark "Sasha, you can't do this because …" was unexpected. He attentively and almost with an ominous (word of honor !!) smile looked into the eyes of my friend, after which he gave out his so-called and then became our common noun "Mozna!" And he continued to bang the phone on the table …
I met my parents a couple of months later by chance at a large shopping center. The picture was about the same: Sasha was throwing stones at the playground and desperately having fun, his mother almost as desperately pretended to try to stop him by shouting "Well, how is it! He is not listening again!" Dad looked at the child almost proudly, assuring that his son would be much easier in life than him. Because arrogance is the second happiness.
This is what I mean. Very often, the upbringing is not carried out by an adult, but by an under-praised (undernourished, unloved) inner child. Reaching the power of upbringing, such a grown up restrained child decides to rebel against his inner parents. He comes off to the fullest, endlessly rewarding his own offspring with everything that he himself was so lacking in childhood, thus making up for his own deficiencies.
Yes, it will be easy for Sasha to overcome obstacles in the future, because such a word - an obstacle - may simply not appear in his vocabulary. The concept of "no" will be familiar to him only by hearsay; the framework of what is permitted will become utterly blurred. Yes, it will be much easier for him to live than for his father. But sociopaths also live easily and freely without conscience and internal prohibitions. Only your own desires and instincts. Their freedom is not even limited by the freedom of a neighbor. They just do what they want.
And yes, perhaps in the light of modernity, this quality will seem almost indispensable for building a career and achieving goals. However, behind the obsessive desire to make up for their own complexes in children, it is extremely difficult not to notice the exaggeration: robots and computers are also aimed at completing the assigned tasks, but they just do not know how to feel and empathize. Is that future so perfect. which such a parent is trying to impose on his child?..
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