Coronavirus: How To Deal With Unnecessary Anxiety

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-15 16:05

I wrote the word "superfluous" in the title for a reason. In general, anxiety in a situation of a coronavirus pandemic and quarantine is quite normal and healthy. It encourages us to react healthy - a sufficient and adequate interest in what is happening and healthy changes in behavior strategies in accordance with the realities. If you do not feel anxious at all, check yourself by reading the first paragraph of the article.

But there are differences between healthy anxiety - that is, such a size and influence of which corresponds to the situation and its impact specifically on your life - and neurotic anxiety.

Neurotic anxiety, as opposed to healthy, - excessive, interferes with life, it is painfully experienced. It does not allow you to calmly do what you yourself would like to do now, does not allow you to focus on anything other than the object of anxiety, affects sleep and appetite, makes you perform inappropriate, that is, useless or harmful actions to you. If this is similar to what is happening to you and you want to reduce your anxiety, this article is for you.

Check yourself for unconscious anxiety

Sometimes anxiety - or, if you like, fear is not recognized, but at the same time it is repressed into the body or actions. If you are not feeling anxious but notice that you:

- sleep worse

- eat more or less

- started to do unjustified actions (for example, bought more food than you can eat before they go bad)

- become irritable

- unnecessarily save money (I do not mean a case when your income really fell)

- noticed any other changes in behavior for which there are no objective reasons

- you feel tension in your body (it brings your neck down, your shoulders hurt "for no reason, no reason," for example)

- you notice that you often knock with your foot, drum with your fingers or something else like that

- began to perform excessive, obsessive actions

- more than usual go to games or, for example, cleaning

- began to smoke more or drink more alcohol

- noticed that you have ceased to feel anything at all, you are experiencing events detachedly (this may indicate that shock reactions)

… Then try to listen to your feelings better. You may find anxiety or other strong feelings. So strong that you unconsciously block their experience.

If you find exactly anxiety - let's move on. If there are other feelings, I will write about them later. Especially if you ask questions about them in the comments - so I will understand that this is relevant and it is necessary to tell about it.

How to reduce anxiety

Let's divide the recommendations into three parts for convenience. The first one will be about "input filters". Anxiety about the coronavirus pandemic does not arise on its own, it is triggered by information that enters your psyche from the outside. Therefore, if there are already too many alarms, it is necessary to put "input filters"

The second part will be about reducing the anxiety that is already there. In the end, something has already got into you, and somehow your psyche has processed it in such a way that you start to "flap" and "sausage". Let's figure out what can be done with this.

And the third part will be about “exit filters”. That is, how anxiety can and should be given out to the outside world, and how - not worth it and why.

Part 1. Input filters

• List in a column the sources from which information enters your brain. about the pandemic, coronavirus, the number of people infected, the situation in your city, the measures taken by the authorities, the well-being of loved ones, and in general about everything related to the topic of coronavirus. It can be different media (each - in a separate item, phone calls from mom or grandfather, accounts in social networks (or social networks without specific accounts), Telegram channels, messages from friends (from each - in a separate item), something that you see on the street and so on.
• Rate on a scale of 1 to 5 how much exposure to these sources of information increases your level of anxiety. To do this, you can remember the sensations or, if you don't remember right away, observe yourself.
• Also rate the degree objective the usefulness of the information you get on each channel. Does it help you make concrete, helpful decisions? Feeling Informed? Something else? Do you somehow use the recommendations from this source? It helps? Do you use it somehow, is it really useful or just arouses excitement, pulls to look, but does not affect anything - that's the main question?
• Now choose 2-3 sources of information that you will leave valid, focusing on the degree of "harmfulness" - that is, raising anxiety and the degree of usefulness. Get informed through these channels. Stop using other channels of obtaining information. Two or three channels, no more. It will take a willful effort on your part to stop watching other channels.
• Use information from expert sources … If you need information about the virus - read virologists, about the economic consequences - economists, about psychological reactions - psychologists. Don't read what the virologist says about economics. Check the expertise of sources.

A good source indicates the name of the author of the information, his profession and he, this person speaks within the framework of his profession. You can find some information about this expert on the internet. If the media found him somehow to interview him, for example, then you will find him too

“But there is such a professor, he said 10 years ago that …” is a bad source. Use up-to-date information, even if the professor really exists in nature and said something

Do not read or listen to retellings. If you are interested in what the name actually said, find the original of his statement or a good translation, indicating the translator's name (this means that the translator cares about his professional reputation and will not speculate or distort). In retellings, phrases are taken out of context, and information can be greatly distorted

• Pick a time when you "go for the news" (read, listen, etc.). Enough twice a day, so you definitely will not miss anything important. At first, it will take a willful effort not to start looking, reading and listening more often. But if you don't, you will be constantly feeding the brain's excitation center, which is responsible for your anxiety. And he will not be able to calm down and give you rest.
• Limit the very time of receiving news … For example, half an hour twice a day.

It is better that this time when you watch the news would be two hours before bedtime or before other important matters, when you need to be calm and focused. Give yourself time to process all the information you've received and calm down

What if the information is forcibly introduced to me?

Yes, our loved ones, seized with anxiety, can call or come from another room and start telling us the news even when we don't want to.

• Introduce them to your concept of handling news … Ask at least not to do this all the time, but to collect news in one package. Of course, if your grandmother and mental hygiene are incompatible concepts, she will not learn to be environmentally friendly right now. But in some cases it will help.
• Offer to drop you links to Viber or another messenger, and you will see when you have time. This will help the loved ones to "throw out" the impulse from themselves and it will become easier for them, but it will not hurt you. Unless, of course, you do not begin to view it all immediately, as soon as it arrived.
• Encourage loved ones to talk more about themselves and their lives and feelings instead of passing on rumors to you … This will help you stay close, rather than turning the relationship into pushing and setting boundaries.
• You have, however, the right to rigidly refuse to listen to what you do not want to listen to.… Even turn off the phone or go to another room.

Part 2. How to Deal with Preexisting Anxiety

Recognize that it is and that it is normal.… It is not necessary to stop the awareness of anxiety because "men are not afraid", "afraid to be ashamed" or something like that. Of course, this is just normal - to be afraid when there is a serious virus, there is a pandemic and you or someone from your loved ones can get sick. Or your income may drop. Or you are worried about how the quarantine will affect your relationship. Or plans. Or raising children. Or there are other risks to you.

You can only work with your anxiety if you understand how you feel it. If it exists, but you do not realize it, it just pushes you to strange actions or leads to somatization - I'm talking about tensions in the body, for example, or about “seizing” anxiety

• What exactly is your anxiety about? Expand your fantasy, listen to yourself. That you yourself will get sick? Someone close to you? Not enough food? Disconnect the Internet? Whatever, admit to yourself your most catastrophic fantasies, even unreal ones. This will be needed in the next step.
• And now you take and "feel" what you are worried about. If possible - with your hands. If it doesn't work out with your hands (for example, dear people are far away), then with your eyes and ears.

For example: if your anxiety is that there is not enough food - go to the refrigerator, look at the food and tell yourself: look, there is food. Right now, there she is. And in the closet - too, here it is. You touch it with your hands, feel its weight and focus on the sensations. Go to the supermarket website and see if what you usually buy is in stock. You go to the store if you go to them and deliberately linger on the shelves with products that are important to you. Do not skip, but tell yourself bluntly: look, there is bread, there is cheese, there are apples. A lot of.

If your concern is about your health, pay attention to your body. What is the temperature (measure it). It is important - linger, stop at this value, repeat it to yourself. How do you breathe? Breathe, feel it. Tell yourself: now I breathe freely. And so - with all the other sensations.

If you are worried about your loved ones, call them. Tell yourself: here I am talking to them. Everything is alright with them. The call was answered, they look good, they say they feel good.

There are two very important things about this process

First, don't comfort yourself if something is really wrong. Tell yourself that everything is ok only if everything is ok. Don't break your own self-confidence.

If you suddenly saw that you have a fever, take action (call your family doctor or, if he is not there, call the phones published by the Ministry of Health for this case. -then. No need to deceive yourself, I am not calling for this … I urge you to remind yourself that everything is ok, if everything is ok.

Second, linger on what worries you. Don't jump fast as you usually do. Imagine, for example, your Inner Child. He is cut off from information, he can only get it from you. Therefore, you should not just look at the thermometer, but tell the Inner Child - now I have 36’6. Let him "look with your eyes."

Don't just look at the bread that is, but tell the Inner Child about it. Slowly, "chewing", repeating several times, as you would tell a real child. With examples, letting you touch, smell, listen and touch with all the senses that you can.

And now - about another technique. Ground yourself!

Sit back and pay attention to your body from head to toe. Ask yourself a special question: what does my right hand feel? And keep up with yourself until you can name at least 2-3 things. Maybe it’s warm or cold, maybe it’s a touch of clothes or any other surface, maybe it’s tension in this hand?

It is better to start from the top of the head or from the feet and methodically go from top to bottom or bottom to top. So you will not miss anything with your attention and will not let anxiety pull you out of the process. Let the anxiety be on its own, and you - in the sensations of your body.

If in the process you realize that you are uncomfortable, something is pressing or numb, or you are cold, change your body position or take a blanket. There is no need to endure the inconvenience.

Pay attention to how you breathe as well. Don't change anything, just periodically direct your attention to your breathing.

Do this for at least 10 minutes, as much as possible. Repeat this periodically.

Move actively. Just to get moving. I don't mean cleaning or anything else. Just wave your arms or walk or run in place or do whatever movement you like.

Pay attention to how your body is moving, what it is in contact with, how it feels. That is why cleaning will not work - you will be directed to the wrong direction. But you just need to feel your living body. Don't make unpleasant, heavy movements that you don't feel like doing. Avoid overload or discomfort. This is not a drill, this is a different process.

Anxiety can push us to take quick and reckless actions. When you decide to do something, think again, check your decisions for at least harmlessness. Almost any action can be safely postponed for half an hour, or even longer.

Example: he may "pull" again to buy cereals and pasta, even when they are already at home in large quantities, there is not much money, and milk is over. Think about it. Buy milk. Groats are out of anxiety. We need milk now. Buying cereals, if after that there is not enough money for milk, will be a harmful action.

Part 3. Filters "on the way out"

When we are in anxiety, we can begin to "flush" it out of ourselves. Above we talked about how you can protect yourself from one of the methods of "bulging" if it is done in your direction. But let's take into account that you yourself will be influenced by what you yourself release into the environment. This is important not only from the point of view of humanity in relation to one's neighbor. But also because it will affect you.

Example: you gave your neighbor a batch of news that was unnecessary for him. The middle one was overloaded, “rocked” in its alarm. And because of this, too, he could not hold her. He got carried away by this impulse on the Internet, he found his pack of news and gave it to you. Or his tone of voice changed, he began to move more restlessly. You catch it and, without realizing it yourself, perceive it as an alarm signal. This is how you rock each other. You yourself become more anxious as a result.

Therefore, we train to put filters on the output.

• Don't spread exciting but unverified information. No need to tell it to your neighbor, no need to post it on the Internet, no need to share it on social networks. If you have already gone and read it, have not put "filters on the input", then it is clear that now you want to "spit it out" somewhere out of yourself. Cope. This is your responsibility. Check your "input filters" so that they don't overflow.
• If you have reliable, important and urgent information, you want to share it with your neighbor, and your neighbor says that he does not want to listen to it now - do not share … The middle one has the right to dose what gets into it. Check if there will be trouble if your neighbor remains in the dark for a few more hours? What kind of disaster will happen? Spoiler alert: if this is not information about a fire directly in your house, then usually there will be no trouble.
• If out of anxiety you want to hug someone who is nearby, and someone who is nearby wants to be alone now, then you can ask, but you have no right to demand … Unless, of course, you are an adult. It is still better to hug children at their first request. Yes, it is our responsibility to calm them down. We decided to start them sometime.
• If the children need to be alone, we must leave them alone, even if we really want to squeeze them out of anxiety.… We are adults. We learn how to contain anxiety, we do the techniques described above in the second part. We do not spill our anxiety into children.
• Sharing your anxiety directly is helpful. That is, not to say for the hundredth time “did you wash your hands?”, But to say “I'm scared for you”. Or - "I'm scared for myself." Another thing is that counter reactions sometimes may not soothe, but on the contrary. So sharing your anxiety directly is helpful, but you need to check what happens next. Sometimes your neighbor replies with something that makes you feel worse. Then don't. Or you need to tell your neighbor what you would like from him in response when you share anxiety.

However, I am going to write a separate article soon about how we can coexist with our neighbors in the conditions of quarantine. If you are interested in any other topics, write about it in the comments, I will respond and understand what is better to write about first.