Why Am I Afraid To Communicate?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Many clients come to me with difficulties in relationships, complaints often concern their lack of confidence in communicating with people. Equally often, this question worries both men and women. Today I want to write a little about the reasons for this uncertainty. So where does it come from?

1. Personality features.

All people, to varying degrees, strive for communication: someone prefers loneliness, therefore, in the presence of a large number of people, they can be anxious and tense, because feels comfortable only in a narrow circle of close people, while someone, on the contrary, cannot imagine their life without constant communication, therefore, easily comes into contact with other people. These features can be both innate and acquired in the process of education.

2. Lack of a positive example in childhood.

When a child sees that parents do not communicate much with other people, he may begin to perceive the communication situation as unsafe, even if he himself seeks to communicate. This happens when parents are stressed, embarrassed, communicating with other parents or children. They, if possible, leave the house with the child when there is no one on the playground, choose more secluded places for walking, leave the playground when other people come there. The child, feeling the tension of the parents, not understanding what it is connected with, also begins to worry. And then this anxiety is associated directly with the presence of a number of other people. And the need to communicate can be a serious challenge for such a child.

3. Lack of communication experience.

New unfamiliar situations are always alarming, this is normal. Accordingly, the less communication experience a person has, the more terrible it is for him to come into contact. It can be especially difficult in adulthood, when the difference in communication skills is not only noticeable to others, but is also recognized by the person himself and perceived by him as a problem.

4. Negative experience.

This can be an experience of rejection by parents, a children's team - in a kindergarten or school, an experience of bullying at an institute and even at work in adulthood. This also includes situations of assault and violence. In fact, a person gains experience, after which he is afraid to trust others, waits for a catch, even seeing a kind attitude towards himself, and is always on the lookout.

I described the options that I encountered in practice, I will be glad to receive your additions from practice or personal experience.