2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
It happens that relationships run out of steam.
It happens that they no longer just do not bring joy from being in them, but also exhaust them so much that energy and strength, naturalness and passion for life are lost.
It’s very sad to see this, but it’s even worse to be in such a relationship yourself.
Well, the question is: if everything is so bad, then who or what, in the end, keeps you from packing up your things and confidently leaving towards your bright future?
It turns out that there is a lot of this "who or what" …
Sometimes there are so many that a person is afraid to even think in that direction …
The first thing that is very holding back is the presence of children.
There is no need now to list all the advantages of the fact that children grow up in a complete family. But it should be noted that only when parents are happy themselves, they can give children everything they need for their harmonious development and formation. It is difficult to imagine an emotionally drained mother who is truly happy to take care of her children and is fully responsive to all their emotional needs.
Environment as a holding factor.
Relatives, friends, just people whose opinion is very important to us, although we sometimes try to convince ourselves otherwise.
Man is a social being. And if divorce is an unacceptable phenomenon in his inner circle, this can greatly influence his decision.
Moreover, the collective unconscious can store the facts of the expulsion of ancestors from the community for such behavior. Moreover, in the worst case, maybe one of the ancestors paid for it with death.
Therefore, it is important to learn to accept the experience of ancestors as an important part of yourself. But at the same time, it is also important to learn to feel now and your real needs.
Material values.
Along with the above, this seems to be some kind of commonplace. But in fact, this is a very important deterrent. After all, breaking is not building. Joint housing, which was once invested with soul, money that was earned for the family. How to deal with this?
And the most difficult option in this vein: in order to leave you need money, but they are not in the required amount.
Although there is also a question that needs to be asked and it is important to ask myself: do I really want to leave and can I take responsibility for it? Is money (or lack of it) just a cover to "allow" yourself to stay?
Shared memories, love that once was.
This emotional memory can be very strong. And it will be fueled by faith and hope that everything can be reborn.
“Well, how could it be otherwise? Before, weren't there great feelings? - we can convince ourselves when we begin to catch ourselves thinking that now these relationships are far from being as wonderful as they once were. And it happens that, even having tried all the methods for reviving past feelings, past love, a person prefers to live in the illusion that everything will work out and everything will change for the better. After all, to face the truth is very scary …
Of course, being in a similar situation, only everyone will decide for himself where to put the comma.
But, it must be remembered that in both cases, regardless of what decision was made, you will have to pay your price.
This is probably just the feeling of the price that will have to be paid as a result - the most honest and accurate criterion in choosing a solution where to put this punctuation mark in a simple (but very deep in essence) phrase “it is impossible to leave” …
Photo: Irina Pushkaruk
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