2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
In my work, I often come across the topic of separation from parents, which sounds in the requests of my clients (adults).
Together we are trying to explore this topic through their feelings, experiences.
At the same time, I once thought: what about the parents?
It seems to me that separation is a reciprocal process.
What challenges may be faced by parents who are going through the natural transition of their children to a completely independent life?
This forgotten word is FREEDOM
The whole world lies before the "chick" who is preparing for an independent "flight"!
So varied, unpredictable, sometimes frightening, but also intriguing at the same time.
Parents, of course, are worried about him: “How will he be? Will he cope?...
However, a parent has the right to ask these same questions to himself, since, in fact, he is also on the verge of a new life: “What will it be like for me without my boy / my girl? Can I cope?...
The anxiety of the unknown …
But what if you pay attention to what opportunities open up if there is no longer a need to take care of your children so closely?
Yes, anxiety, fears, worries - all this remains.
However, something else appears - something new …
Is it interesting?
Paying attention to your interest in the new (or lack of it), in my opinion, is important in "parental separation."
In addition, that old experience, when there were no children yet, can be "help".
How was life then?
What fascinated, interested?
What did you have to give up to take care of the children?
What has remained unfinished since then, not incarnate?..
There is life in the old dog yet
It may seem that it is too late, time is lost, there are no forces that were before, that enthusiasm and optimism.
Life has changed, it has changed itself …
For so many years, everything is for children …
If you listen to yourself, then who speaks these words in you?
Maybe uncertainty, fear, fear?..
But these experiences are natural, both for your child entering adulthood, and for yourself, entering a new life without him.
This is fine.
Ok, if it's okay to be afraid, then what can you try to rely on?
Remember, how much in your life did you start from scratch?
Or maybe everything?
Over the years of your life, you have gained experience that you did not have "since birth." But you studied, "stuffed bumps" and moved on.
Something helped you to go forward?
What was it?..
Let go to get …
It's not easy to start all over again.
Experience anxiety, fears.
For the children, for myself.
Well, is it really somehow impossible without it ?!
Life, in the most global sense of the word, is change.
That which is unchanging is dead.
One generation succeeds another.
And for this to happen, children are obliged to separate from their parents, so that then their children will separate from them.
This is the law of life.
The law of life is also that if one thing leaves, then something else necessarily comes in its place.
If your child leaves, he will definitely return, only differently, in a new capacity.
Maybe as your new adult friend?..
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