Age Needs Of Children

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

It often happens that a five-year-old, and even more so a seven-year-old, is perceived by parents as big enough to understand a little more than. Especially if the family has younger children.

Now I remember with a smile how big my son seemed to me when his brother was born, and he was 2, 7 then. Watching the video of that time, I am amazed at my perception then. But 2, 7 is, of course, quite a toddler, but when the same attitude as towards an almost adult person, towards 6-7-year-olds, it is already more difficult. It is more difficult for a baby to bear the burden of such parental perception. However, as well as vice versa. Treating younger children like toddlers, even if they are over 40 …

Another interesting observation concerning families with the same weather conditions, or with a not very big difference, is a certain average perception of age, which can also be accompanied by some distortions in unjustified expectations from the younger for more conscious actions, and, conversely, underestimation of the capabilities of the older ones.

But let's go through the needs. A bit of theory, very briefly and generalized (stages of development according to E. Erickson, the theory of attachment by J. Bowlby, G. Newfeld, the theory of leading activity A. N. Leontiev, D. B. Elkonin and V. V. Davydov).

In this sketch, I will not touch upon the negative manifestations of attachment disorder, this is a separate topic, it requires special attention.

The first stage of development according to E. Erickson is the first year of life. The need to be, the need for security.

This is the stage of building trust (or mistrust) in the world. Sometimes this period is also called the time of the formation of basic trust in the world. This means that an infant who has received the experience of sufficient fence, acceptance, love, care, attention is imbued with sufficient trust for a healthy and adequate relationship to other people. Essentially, this is the satisfaction of the need for security. Now he will not have to decide for himself a question every time - like / do not like, will / will not accept, etc. Otherwise, the world seems to the growing child to be hostile, dangerous, suspicious. And this, in turn, begins to manifest itself to one degree or another in the future.

The formation of basic trust occurs through the formation of attachment. Bowlby calls this the instinctive need to be close to the adult with whom the "imprinting" occurred (the very first and lasting imprinting of the signs of a person who is in close contact with a newborn. Usually a mother). Newfeld calls this time - affection through feelings. This is the pre-verbal level, when constant physical contact is important for the child - not only at the bodily level, but it is important for the child to hear, see, smell, taste (in support of breastfeeding).

The leading activity of this period is direct, close emotional and physical contact with a significant adult.

The second stage - independence and indecision - the second and third years of life. Need for ownership.

This time is remarkable for the rapid physical development of the baby, which allows the mind to master its body and new capabilities - to walk, to manipulate objects - to get something from somewhere, clean up, push through, pour out, etc., climb a hill, jump, run, control the "pot", get dressed. And the main task of the parent is to give him as much freedom of choice in his experiments as possible, creating the most safe environment for this. "No" should only concern that which is dangerous for the child's life or health. Constant restrictions or punishments form in the child a sense of shame and lack of confidence in their strengths and capabilities.

On the level of attachment - according to Bowlby - it is intense attachment and an active search for intimacy. It is curious to observe how the baby, despite his incredibly high search activity, still always keeps track of where his mother is at that moment. The further he moves away from her on a walk, the calmer, more confident and safer he feels. But he won't go that far to lose sight of his mother. This is possible only if he is deeply carried away by something, so the mother, after all, needs to constantly keep the baby in plain sight without pulling him down in search of puddles and bushes.

Newfeld says that in the second year, attachment is formed through similarity, and in the third year, through belonging and fidelity. In another language, this is the need for belonging - to one's family, clan, close ones. On the one hand, this is some identification with significant adults (yes, he learns to be like you, reading and repeating behavior, ways of reacting to certain events, including the expression of aggression), and on the other hand, this is a tough separation on their own and others, a zealous attitude towards encroachments on something of their own. If a child says "this is my toy", this does not mean that he is a greedy person, but means that he is attached to her, she is as important to him as, for example, mother. This is not at all about consumer attitudes, but about the need to "be with".

The leading activity of this period is subject-tool, aimed at mastering the capabilities of his growing body, and the discovery of various ways of manipulating objects, and the use of all these discoveries in communication with the world.

The third stage - entrepreneurial spirit and guilt - is four to five years. The need for self-worth of independence.

The essence of the stage is that every month the child masters new motor and intellectual skills and abilities, he learns to play on his own, come up with something to do, actively fantasize, invent. The parents' reaction: encouragement, stimulation, or, conversely, prohibitions on this or that action (you will fall! You will hit! You are not interested! What kind of nonsense are you talking about!) - all this either reinforces the child's confidence in his abilities, or enterprise, or, he, on the contrary, begins to feel guilty for his "irrepressible activity."

Forming attachment at this level, according to Bowlby, is the formation of partnerships. Newfeld talks about the desire for his own significance and importance in the life of someone close to the 4th year, and by the fifth year the child begins to truly love a significant adult (and not just broadcast it through imitation of others). This is the time when the baby begins to realize the value of relationships, learns to make concessions, negotiate, value relationships, seeks confirmation of his importance for loved ones, and also the attachment is consolidated at the level of emotional closeness, when the child can calmly and without strong feelings part with an adult on any term, being sure of it. Otherwise, during this period, what is later called dependent behavior is laid, the insatiable need for love (when they love me, and I am sure and love) makes me look for any way to fill this black hole.

The leading activity is a role-playing game. She also remains leading up to 7 years.

The fourth stage - skill and inferiority - is the age of 6-11 years. The need for self-realization.

This is the time when, in addition to active development, other people actively appear in the child's life, and now his every choice is correlated not only with his feelings or opinions of loved ones, but also with the opinions of others - both about toys or games, and about his appearance, and others like that. There is a need to negotiate, observe the order, resolve conflicts.

According to Newfeld, this is the time of the formation of psychological attachment - the desire to be known, to be heard, understood. This is the desire to be close.

The leading activity is educational.

We have visually looked at the features of each age period in the life of children. Understanding these features allows you to look at the world through the eyes of children - what they need now most of all, what is important for them, that each age period has its own task, which is important to solve in due time. And, most importantly, understanding all this, you can find a way to help your baby become successful and happy in life.