The Other Side Of Femininity

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The theme of femininity and current issues related to it suggests the complexity and contradictions of this phenomenon.

Father of Analytical Psychology C.-G. Jung in his concept, he considered Anima (female subpersonality) and Animus (male subpersonality) as personal feminine and masculine principles in the mental structures of a person. Each of us has both of these personality manifestations. We can often observe all sorts of distortions of the dominant and specific individual psychological characteristics in the personalities of both men with a predominance of Anima, and women with a predominance of Animus.

For many women, Femininity seems like the perfect quality.

So, focusing on life experience, it can be noted that many women who are deficient in Anima are distinguished by their harshness, rigidity, and "masculine" behavior.

Some of them experience difficulties in connection with this circumstance, because they often consider themselves unattractive, repulsive to men. At the same time, it is believed that feminine women are endowed with special magnetism and sexuality. But at the same time, even an outwardly sexy, attractive, feminine girl can experience self-doubt and often a sense of guilt as a result of some features of the volitional sphere of her personality. Often, a feminine girl who does not feel the masculine principle in herself or even suppresses it in herself loses a number of valuable abilities that allow her to adapt to life's difficulties, especially with a pronounced narcissistic position

Let's look at a live example.

Ada is the only daughter, somewhat spoiled, constantly in need of attention and admiration for herself. At the same time, the girl is sophisticated, feminine. But despite the fact that many men are drawn to the girl, she cannot build a plastic relationship with him, and also repeatedly Ada found herself in a very unpleasant and toxic relationship. Sexuality and femininity, magnetism and charm, on the one hand, weak character, lack of will, inability to take any constructive and thoughtful actions, on the other. M. Ada lived with a young man for six months. The young man, as it turned out, has a mental disorder that he himself did not suspect. Taking M. for a consultation, hearing a disappointing diagnosis, Ada hastily broke off relations with him on the same day. The next young man of Ada is V. Some time after the beginning of their romantic relationship, Ada learned that V. had psoriasis and needed hospitalization. And again the same scenario. Immediate breakdown of the relationship. Hell cannot be blamed for insensitivity or lack of mercy. On the contrary, she is a compassionate, sympathetic girl. It responds to the misfortune of its relatives and friends, but at the same time, a harmonious and adequate search for consensus is not built with men.

The girl, one might say, is fixated on her femininity, but at the same time in her life there are very often, as if recurring events, indicating the need to reconsider some views.

So, let's try to understand some aspects of the problem:

1. Lack of empathy or fear?

Considering the situation, Ada and I come to the conclusion that such an escape from problems is fear. Ada is afraid to appear in front of a man strong, able to lend a helping hand and support in difficult times.… Afraid that she will seem "ridiculous and ridiculous" if she supports and shows empathy.

Fear did not arise out of nowhere … In her life there were many men who abused her compliance, gullibility, even naivety. Therefore, it seems to her that if she "treats them like a human being," then she will certainly be betrayed.

2. Excessive gullibility … Unfortunately, an excess of femininity is associated with softness and compliance. For example, the girl said that many men cruelly deceived her, promising to marry, then "mountains of gold", but ran away from her, barely entering into a relationship with her. The worst case was rape with robbery of valuables (a large sum of money, gold jewelry, about two hundred thousand rubles in total). Again, on public transport, the pretty and attractive Ada began to flirt and smile at the guy she liked. He sat down with her, a conversation ensued, after which the man, under some pretext, offered to take a ride to the final (industrial zone area), to show her "a beautiful view of the city." As a result, the girl was raped, robbed, but the culprit was never found, despite appealing to the police …

3. The predominance of corporeality … This is a very delicate question. Ada, without hiding, talks about her many novels and intrigues. but at the same time, bravado is also caught in her speeches, focusing on corporeality (with slight exhibitionistic inclinations). This aspect of behavior leads the girl into rather primitive reasoning that "men only need sex," "every man wants me," and so on. and interferes with personal, intellectual development.

Thus, a distorted perception of one's own femininity with an emphasis on one's sexual needs to the detriment of spiritual comprehension, self-awareness in the context of interpersonal relationships, and the creation of oneself in these relations deforms the girl's volitional sphere and her worldview. This requires a delicate approach (due to the deep mental trauma suffered by the girl) in rethinking her feminine principle.

Author: Arkhangelskaya Nadezhda Vyacheslavovna