Leukemia Is A Lone Disease

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Leukemia is not a gregarious disease. Remember, at Prostokvashino they "go crazy on their own"? This is about leukemia. It’s just the flu all together get sick. Leukemia is perceived as a lone disease. Talking about her is embarrassing, uncomfortable, even somehow ashamed. Acquaintances keep silent and look away, downcast eyes. You can't bring oranges to a leukemia patient or pat on the shoulder. Even the lifesaver phrase "everything will be fine" in the context of leukemia sounds unconvincing. Getting sick with leukemia is not a topic for one day. It's not even a one-year topic. And no one will ever tell you "tomorrow will be better." You live on a powder keg, and there is no guarantee that one awkward movement will not blow you into the air.

Leukemia is an uncomfortable disease. It is incomprehensible, it does not end, it has many faces. When you are asked, it pisses you off. When you are not asked, it infuriates even more. When they call and pester them with conversations, it is annoying. When they don’t call or harass, it scares. Others walk on tiptoe, not knowing how to react, and this half-whisper angers you even more. They are not to blame. And not you. This is leukemia. Dot.

There are, of course, no universal rules of conduct. Everything is purely individual. But still I will try to offer you some tips:

• If you want to help, offer specific help. Don't say "if anything, don't be shy." Just in case? "WHAT" has already happened. Better say, "I can come on Tuesday and bring chicken broth - will you?"
• Avoid empty pause placeholders. Don't say "hold on, things will work out." Better be honest, “I’m sorry that this happened to you - I don’t know how to react. Just tell me how I can help and what needs to be done."
• Don't offer unsolicited help - especially if you don't understand what the person knows and what they've already done. You know how infuriating it is when they call you on the 40th day of your stay in the Morozov hospital with the words “Shcha, I’ll decide everything - I don’t know where you are lying, but you need to go to Morozovskaya, I’ve got a blat there, I’ll arrange everything”. Even if you just found out about the trouble, first find out what kind of work the person has already done, and only then offer your options.
• Avoid value judgments. There is no need to tell the mother of a child with leukemia that she “needs to put her brain in place and pull herself together”. If she is still alive, and her child is alive, then her brain and hands are in place, and she is doing everything she can.
• If you are asked for SPECIFIC help, either refuse or do EXACTLY what you are asked for. It is not necessary in response to a request to give a lump of sugar, offer cake, sweets, cookies, or an article about the dangers of sweets.
• For God's sake, DO NOT BE silent. There is nothing worse than when you see that a person has read the message and has NOT responded in ANY way. Honestly. From experience. It is better to refuse - call or write - but do not ignore someone else's misfortune. This is despicable.

To be fair, I want to say that there are also wishes for those on the other side of leukemia. Do not be offended if I step on your corn - I am with you in the same harness and I am writing from my own experience - in other words, these tips also apply to me:

• No one owes you anything, so try not to judge anyone and gratefully accept both help and refusal.
• Be clear about your position. I know it's hard, but no one has to read your mind. You need to call - tell me. If you do not want to answer calls, turn off the phone, having previously informed your loved ones about your decision. People want to know that you are okay. I understand that you are NOT OK. And they also need to know about this.
• Ask. Everyone and everything - the main thing is that it is clear what exactly you want. If you need a kilogram of apples, ask for a kilogram of apples. Don't say "bring me a couple of apples" if you don't want exactly two green fruits.
• Stop being offended and feeling sorry for yourself. Yes, you feel bad. Trust me, I know. But this does not mean that the whole world should stop and suffer with you. Do not deprive others of the joy of life and do not flood everything around you with negativity. This is bad for you in the first place.
• Try not only to take, but also to give. On my page I ask for help and money. I need a lot of help and even more money. And in order to get them, I come up with different reasons and flash mobs. I try not to just stand with an outstretched hand and pull the raspy nasal voice "poooomoooogiiiiteeee". I try to persuade and persuade, build a concept and campaign, develop and inform and, of course, joke and be happy. All of this is in between drippers and pots. In other words, I try not only to take, but also to give. At least emotionally - in these articles.
• Gather a team of like-minded people and do not be silent. Inform others about your feelings and thoughts, about collection and well-being - involve others in a dialogue. And do not forget to ask how they are doing and how they live and breathe. Otherwise, you risk being left alone. But we remember that leukemia is not a story for one day. And she is not a flock disease - so take care of those who are around.

Good luck and health!