Psychological Holding - Continuation Of The Symbiotic Unity Of Mother And Child

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Have you ever wondered how many wonderful, very intelligent and kind people among us are, who at the same time do not know how to feel the special ease of self-sufficiency and happiness, not because of something, but just like that? Do you know that the ability to be a harmonious, uncomplexed person, with a stable and balanced psyche (and this is how we want our children to be) directly depends on how much in each period of existence a person's life meets his expectations?

Returning to the intrauterine experience of the fetus, we see its closest connection with the mother. The newborn remembers that when he was surrounded by maternal smells, tastes, sounds, touches, etc., he felt good and calm, he experienced positive emotions and felt completely safe. After birth, the child needs to maintain the previous guidelines, which can only be achieved through the constant presence of his mother next to him. Continuing the physical union with the mother allows the baby to achieve a sense of security and a sense of former comfort. In addition, the mother creates many stimuli for the newborn, which are necessary for the full development of his nervous system. In fact, she created all these stimuli for him even during pregnancy. After the birth of the child, the only difference is that the child is now outside.

Physical contact with the mother is the first and most important condition for the soft adaptation of the newborn to the new living conditions, the fulfillment of which is a guarantee of the full development of the baby. For a newborn, everything is important - touch and motherly warmth, carrying on hands, motion sickness, sleeping together, smells and sounds emitted by her body. Stimulation of the skin. Physical contact is expressed primarily in maternal touching, stroking, kissing, touching all parts of the baby's body, as well as in simple hugs and squeezing. Being inside the uterus, in the last weeks of pregnancy, the fetus constantly experiences direct contact of the uterine tissue with the skin. Therefore, to reproduce the usual sensations, the baby needs a mother's hugs and constant touching of his skin. A newborn has a well-developed sense of touch. The researchers observed how blood circulation increases in the skin, fingers, hands, feet of the infant when mother and child are in skin-to-skin contact. Maternal touch stimulates not only the child's blood circulation, they ensure the development of his endocrine, immune and nervous systems, and contribute to the development of the brain. For more convincing in the need for physical contact between mother and child, we present excerpts from the article "Lend a Helping Hand" by Sarah van Boven. This article describes the special importance of tactile stimulation to an infant for full growth and development:

Tiffany Field, director of the Institute for Tactile Research at the University of Miami, explains the benefits of these contacts. Premature babies who receive a daily massage gain 47 percent more weight and leave maternity hospitals six days earlier … Tactile therapy helps with colic, sleep disturbances and hyperexcitability. According to Field, “Touching and stroking is not only a psychological effect - it is an important stimulant of the central nervous system.

Scientists have proven that a woman's pregnancy should have lasted not nine months, but eighteen, but then the child simply would not be able to be born due to its physical characteristics, which is why it is physiologically predetermined both for the birth of children to be immature and the need to carry them out in their arms. Renowned psychotherapist Jean Ledloff wrote about it this way:

The baby lives in the eternal "now", he has not yet formed the concept of time and space. When his native hands hold him, he is infinitely happy, if not, he falls into a state of emptiness and despair. The difference between the comfort of the mother's womb and the outside world unfamiliar to him is unusually great, but this is how nature intended, and a person is ready for this step - the transition from the womb to the mother's arms. It is on the hands - in order to continue the strong, inextricable bond formed during pregnancy between the mother and the child. In order to hear the sounds of the mother's heart and the rhythm of breathing, to feel the native smell and the usual rhythm of steps.

It is very important to feel the smells and rhythms familiar from the prenatal period for regulating all life support systems of the newborn: mother's touch and hugs stimulate breathing, blood circulation, digestion, develop the vestibular apparatus, regulate the movements of the child's limbs, contribute to the correct development of the nervous, immune, and endocrine systems.

Infant motion sickness has always been controversial. It used to be thought to be a bad habit that shouldn't be maintained. The child needs motion sickness as much as direct contact with the mother. Moreover, this is a physiological need, the satisfaction of which is necessary for the full development of the infant's vestibular apparatus. During pregnancy, the mother constantly rocked the baby to the rhythm of her steps, ensuring the development of his organ of balance. After birth, the baby also needs the development of the vestibular apparatus. Carrying babies in their arms and motion sickness are necessary actions for adults to ensure the full development of the child's nervous system and vestibular apparatus. Therefore, you can recommend the mother to rock the baby in a stroller or in her arms, putting him to bed. It should be noted that the measured swinging of the baby in the arms has a positive effect on the mother's nervous system. Rhythmic movements calm and relax a woman, create a feeling of comfort in her and improve her sleep.

Joint sleep with mom is also a physiological need and is necessary for a newborn for the full development of the nervous system. The baby needs a sense of security and the constant presence of his mother, without which he is not able to survive. The combined sleep of the mother and baby provides the baby with the usual intrauterine comfort. During sleep, the child perfectly understands whether his mother is next to him or not. More than 50% of a newborn's sleep is paradoxical, shallow sleep, during which he controls the environment. If the mother is nearby and the baby is surrounded by her warmth and smells, hears the calm rhythm of her heart, then he feels safe; and if the mother is not around, the baby experiences discomfort and a feeling of deep anxiety.

Psychological holding.

The word holding, which has become a widely used psychoanalytic term, was coined by Winnicott. "Carrying out holding" means "babysitting", "caring." In a narrow sense, "to hold" means "to hold in your hands." In other words, a holding is called the conditions in which communication takes place when the child is just beginning to live. Holding, or carrying a child in your arms, is necessary, since it provides the most complete physical contact with the mother, and, consequently, the daily physiological norm of tactile stimulation of the child's skin. In addition, it is very important that when the child is in the arms of the mother, she warms him up with her warmth and surrounds him with an aura of smells and sounds that are perfectly familiar to him. Therefore, the mother should use every opportunity to take the child and vilify him in her arms.

When exercising or babysitting a baby, it is very important to do it right. His well-being depends on the mother's ability to hold the baby in her arms, on her dexterity and confidence. A woman acquires this skill in the process of learning and practicing communication with a child. The benefits of long-term wearing on your hands are as follows:

Firstly, carrying a child in her arms enhances parental affection, caring and tenderness, contributes to the formation of an accurate, clear, timely reaction of the mother in response to the needs of the baby, helps mother and child gain confidence in their abilities, because they quickly learn to understand each other and establish harmonious contact. The couple "mother and newborn, whom she carries in her arms" feel a constant feeling of happiness when they are together, and a certain discomfort when they are not around.

Secondly, carrying the baby in your arms promotes more frequent attachments, which ensures stable lactation for the mother and good weight gain for the newborn.

Thirdly, the body of a mother, whose child "lives" in her arms, gradually gets used to the increasing weight, so she carries the child without prejudice to her health. A mother, who tries not to teach the child to hand, still periodically does it to swaddle, wash, etc., but her physical fitness will not keep pace with the increasing weight of the baby, so there is a high probability of back injury.

Fourthly, a mother who knows how to carry her child competently, and even uses a sling (today it is one of the safest devices for carrying children from birth), is very mobile: she can visit, visit shops or museums, cafes or parks and at the same time enjoy a joint holiday with a child.

A mother who knows how to correctly carry a baby can do housework with him. Therefore, while the child is sleeping, the mother can take a nap with him, or she can read, sit at the computer or TV, find time for a hobby. You can't even imagine how much mothers manage to carry their babies! And they get tired much less than mothers who try to redo all the affairs only when the baby is sleeping or when the father or other relatives are engaged in it.

We wear it correctly.

The child must be worn not only for a long time, but also competently. What does this mean?

• The child's body is supported in the chest area; you cannot hold your head with one hand and the baby's torso with the other (you can damage the cervical vertebrae).
• Mom cannot carry the baby with her back to her: the baby can get scared because he does not see the mother, and, in addition, he needs to warm his tummy.

Different ways of carrying the newborn should be used. Let's dwell on them in more detail.

"Cradle" (used from birth):

Relative to the mother, the child lies on its side in such a way that his tummy is tightly pressed against the mother, the head lies in the elbow of the mother's hand (the mother must make sure that the head does not lean back); The child's hands should not dangle, they are folded on the tummy and pressed to the mother (if the child is not swaddled, the mother watches over the hands); the legs are clamped under the arms of the mother; The mother has a straight back and straightened shoulders, there should not be a void between the elbows and the body; the main load falls on the mother's elbows, and not on the wrists; The child is pressed tightly, he does not move relative to the mother's body (this is important when rocking the baby: the more tightly the child is pressed, the faster he calms down and falls asleep).

Hip Cradle (can be used from birth):

• Mom birches the baby in the "cradle" pose;
• Arranges the child on one hand: the head lies in the elbow bend, and the mother supports the child under the knees with a brush, while the child's back sags, and does not lie on the arm;
• Mom moves her hand with the child to her hip and presses the baby's bottom to it;
• Mom has a straight back and straightened shoulders; the load goes to the mother's thigh;
• We press the child's ass to the thigh, and not to the mother's belly.

"From under the arm" (used from birth):

• Mom takes the baby in the cradle position;
• Changes the wrists of his hands in places: the hand that was below is now on top and supports the baby's head behind the ears, the second hand supports the baby's bottom from below;
• Mom moves the baby to her hip in the direction where his butt is;
• The child's chin is tilted towards the chest;
• Mom has a straight back and straightened shoulders; the load goes to the mother's thigh;
• We press the child's ass to the thigh, and not to the mother's belly.

"Column" (this and any other vertical positions are used from 3 weeks):

The child's arms should be bent at the elbows and pressed against his chest; The chin is just above the mother's shoulder; If the child is lying on the right shoulder, he must be held with the right hand; if on the left - left; Mom holds the child by the chest, supporting the child along the entire spinal column, evenly distributing the load; does not support his head and butt; Mom has a straight back and straightened shoulders; the load goes to her body, and not to her hand.

And most importantly, with any method of wearing, the child needs to be held with love, that is, confidently, without fuss, anxiety, tension, haste. This is the only way to provide a holding that satisfies the baby, which will completely relieve the baby from feelings of discomfort on the verge of suffering (according to D. Vinnikot, a feeling of being torn apart, a feeling of eternal fall, a feeling of fragility of external reality, a feeling of endless anxiety).

Carry your little one with pleasure!