2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
One of the things I don't like about our culture is "if this happens to you, that's it, it's over." That is, there really are some scenarios, after which there seems to be no continuation.
They are different for different people - divorce, dismissal, rape, loss of all money, death of a loved one, serious illness or disability, betrayal of a family member.
It was somehow important for me at some point for myself to formulate that the only point after which everything is, is death.
After death, you can't get overwhelmed, yes.
But before my life was over, it was not over.
Many times I have experienced some such situations when you understand: fucked up. Something terrible happened to me.
Some things about what I coped with are known only to the closest people.
And in these moments I understood very well that I had a choice: to accept it as something terrible, with which it is impossible to live, or to continue living. I have always chosen to continue.
And this is always an amazing thing when, after the most complete hell, you suddenly sit in a coffee shop again with a cup of coffee and sincerely laugh at your friend's joke. Or when you walk along the night sea next to a man, and you feel alive, cheerful and happy.
And you know that you forged this happiness yourself, absolutely with your own hands - on that day, when you lay with a punctured chest, could hardly breathe and said only one thing: "I will not give up. It will not end like this." And he forced himself to be treated, get up, walk, then came to the doctor and the psychotherapist, and learned everything anew - to touch people, talk, smile.
Without this, nothing would have happened.
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